is it normal to feel depressed about giving up breast feeding ?

[ladykara]

Is it normal to get depressed when giving up breast feeding ?

I stopped breast feeding for a month now and stopped expressing for almost 2 weeks, i still have milk coming out but im so depressed about giving up

 

[anna matronic]

Everyone I know has said it was the hardest decision they have made and has made them really quite sad. I think it is normal as there is a reduction of hormones going on, plus I think a bit of guilt aswell.

 

[MelanieAnn]

Yes. It's normal. There's an explanation of the physicality here: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=bottlefeeding-mimics-mourning

But there's also the other aspects too: maybe disappointment with oneself, or one's baby, or one's body, or anger at how hard it is, and frustration and a measure of fury that nobody told you how tough it would be or was able to help you when things were really, really difficult. Many mums feel let down and rejected or abandoned by the health service and community of mothers who should have been able to support and encourage them. And many mums feel ambivilent towards the support they receive from their families, too: a desire to help was often transmutted into bottle feeding which ultimately was unhelpful; the community knowledge as to how to help effectively was often missing.

Further, there is a question to about hopes and dreams; what sort of picture did you have in your head and how did that map onto reality? For most mums there is a considerable gulf, and some mourning too.

It is really, really normal to feel ambivilent, bittersweet, or even depressed and sad. If it develops towards depression, then by all means seek GP assistance; PND can come on any point during the first year. But even for mums who aren't suffering from depression (and I think there must be days for all of us when we are depressed!) I reckon a bit of extra TLC is called for. Early nights, being gentle and compassionate with ourselves, exercise, eating really healthy food, listening to music, giving ourselves time and space and respect and congratulating ourselves for what we have done.... that is something every mother needs. Especially at the time of weaning.

What you have been through: Pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding: These are amazing things. CONGRATULATIONS. You really have done something wonderful: Your body has birthed and developed a new human being. WELL DONE!!!!

 

[ladykara]

thank you guys, and thanks melanieAnn for the link.. it makes a lot of sense, i had no pain at all with breast feeding, when i had my son i had such major pain i gave up after a week so this time i was over the moon i didnt suffer this time around... I just wish she would feed from me, the funny thing is i had no depression after having paige, unlike when i had my son so i think there is some truth about breast feeding can reduce the chances of having depression.

Husband keeps saying our next babies might take to it... which is keeping me going that i will breast feed again

 

[Farie]

Yup, I've had to stop as Nim is allergic to CMP and a few other things, gluten incl and my milk was simply making her ill. Elimination diets didn't work and the gastroenteritis caused by the allergies caused a lactose intolerance.
I'm devastated.
I know rationally she is on the best thing for her, but I just want to cry. My milks dried up really fast despite expressing and I just want to shout 'no, stop, I'll re-lactate'

I think time will heal. I hope so anyway

 

[ladykara]

Yup, I've had to stop as Nim is allergic to CMP and a few other things, gluten incl and my milk was simply making her ill. Elimination diets didn't work and the gastroenteritis caused by the allergies caused a lactose intolerance.
I'm devastated.
I know rationally she is on the best thing for her, but I just want to cry. My milks dried up really fast despite expressing and I just want to shout 'no, stop, I'll re-lactate'

I think time will heal. I hope so anyway

Awww babe, i know how your feeling, its hard because there isnt many who understand, most gave up due to it being to painful or have no regrets about not breast feeding. Im thinking of relactating but everyone says its too hard and im going back to work in 8 weeks and everyone is telling me its best to just enjoy the time i have left rather than stressing about building up my supply, and i do see their point. Sorry to hear your milk was making your LO ill, i guess its the one thing mums dont think will happen

 

[anna matronic]

Yup, I've had to stop as Nim is allergic to CMP and a few other things, gluten incl and my milk was simply making her ill. Elimination diets didn't work and the gastroenteritis caused by the allergies caused a lactose intolerance.
I'm devastated.
I know rationally she is on the best thing for her, but I just want to cry. My milks dried up really fast despite expressing and I just want to shout 'no, stop, I'll re-lactate'

I think time will heal. I hope so anyway

You did so well hun

 

[summer rain]

I had to give up with second youngest for similar reasons to Farie; it is really upsetting, with him in the first few weeks things were going really well then he just stopped gaining weight at all and then lost a few oz, I wish I had had more support; access to allergy testing/dieticians etc but I made the right decision considering the circumstances. I'm sure your little one is thriving, happy and healthy on formula and thats what matters xx