Is it wrong of me? Honest opinions

[Pearls18]

It's not deceitful at all, would you bring up your sexuality at an interview? Your religion? Of course not, it's irrelevant, just as your pregnancy is at this stage. Once you have the job I would personally say straight away for health and safety in care work, but it's not deceitful if you wait till 25 weeks.

 

[staralfur]

I would definitely accept first and then not necessarily set out to tell anyone straight away, but not try to hide it either. I'm sure there will be opportunities where you can casually mention it without making it a 'formal' announcement or declaration.

I applied for a job when I was 3 months pregnant and didn't tell anyone at the interview or orientation. I had to tell one woman that was giving me grief about wardrobe because I had to start wearing maternity pants that I couldn't find in the same 'acceptable' style, but I still didn't make it public. I waited until I was legally required to tell them that I'd be going on mat leave (I think it was like 12 weeks before date of leave starts).

I was on probation the entire time I worked there before I left for maternity leave and I didn't want to chance it. One of my best friends told her employers that she was pregnant while she was on probation and they had found some BS excuse to let her go within a week of her telling them.

If you're not legally required to disclose the information and you're not lying if someone specifically asks, then I don't think there's anything immoral about it at all. You can't always trust that your employer is going to behave ethically, especially at a new job where you're on probation and letting you go is easier, so I think the most important thing is protecting yourself.

 

[MrsTB]

It's a tough one but I was once in your position where I was in my first trimester of pregnancy when my I applied & got interviewed for a job. I had to go for it as I knew this opportunity didn't come along often. I didn't mention in application or at interview that I was pregnant. As it happened I didn't get the job but purely cos I ballsed up the interview with lack of proper preparation & over confidence even though I later found they thought the job had my name written on it due to my level of experience! Anyway if I had got the job ( & everyone pretty much thought I would get it)...in my practical head I thought what would i say to my new employer about it or explain why i hadnt mentioned it before?...well its still relatively early stages with the pregnancy & god forbid anything should happen but you never know & I was going tell everyone inc family & friends closer to or after my 20 wk scan. All that would've been true & hence it wouldn't have felt immoral to me!

 

[MrsTB]

...& I certainly wouldn't mention anything until you've got formal offer in writing & you've passed all their clearances & checks otherwise its a moot point! Good luck!

 

[Rachel89]

Honestly, if it is illegal to discriminate against pregnant women then there is nothing wrong with keeping it from them. Since it should not matter. If it matters then it means they are discriminating which is not allowed.

To me it is that simple, and if it is within her rights not to mention anything up to 25 weeks then she is not doing anything unethical.

Honestly it happens too often that they can and will find an excuse to let you go, and you will have no foot to stand on. If they would not discriminate this would not be asked so often in the first place, and again since they are not allowed to discriminate then it should not matter. A lot of women do prefer to keep their pregnancies private from others up until after the 20th week scan for good reasons anyway. So what ever she decides to do she is in her given right imo.

 

[icklemonster]

I cannot agree with MarineWAG more. I've spent 10 years working in recruitment and not having to tell an employer you are pregnant up until 25 weeks is there to protect you. There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. If anything by not telling them you are doing them a favour as you are not allowing them to be biased in their decision, which would be illegal. Accept the job then tell them. Good luck with the new role xxx

 

[IsabellaJayne]

Thank you everyone. I really do have the same views as you all. It's what the Equality Act is in place for. I am going to accept the job tomorrow and tell them whenever I fee like doing so. I may even leave it until 25 weeks as I'll only be 8 weeks into my 12 week probationary period. And hopefully I'll have proved myself enough by then

 

[Bun87]

I don't think you are obliged to tell your employer until you're 25 weeks? X

 

[IsabellaJayne]

If I start to show I'll tell them earlier. I don't want them guessing and then letting me go before I've officially told them. To be honest, they're. A huge company taking on fleets of people. It's very casual and calm and the lady was absolutely lovely. I cannot see her being horrible about it at all. I have a friend who works there saying there are tons of pregnant women there and it's never been a problem and doesn't get in the way of their work as any heavy lifting is always a two carer job anyway.

I know it'll be annoying for the employer but I do have good intentions of working until 37 weeks full time more or less and then gradually building up hours from 7 weeks pp and back to full time.

 

[spunky84]

If your friend is saying there's a lot of pregnant women there, it sounds like they may be family friendly.

Some companies are, some aren't.

It sounds like you'll be okay. You've got the law on your side, and if you're not obligated to tell until 25 weeks, then do what you've got to do (I'm not familiar with UK laws). But it sounds like it'll work out (as nerve wracking as it can be).

 

[meg_bellamy]

You're perfectly fine not telling them straight away. We had a girl at our work who told my boss during the interview she was 7wks pregnant and they still gave her the job, she worked til she was 35wks and whenever she wants to come back, she can. Not all bosses are awful

 

[loeylo]

You are, in my opinion (and the eyes of the law) doing the correct thing! Congratulations in the new job.

I'm 22 weeks tomorrow and still haven't told my employer (I'm showing as well!) and I actually have 6 interviews this week for permanent jobs. I'm a supply teacher now and permanent jobs are rarely advertised in my subject so I am being very careful not to do anything to jeopardise my chances, if I am the best candidate then I deserve the job! I'm having to try really hard to wear an interview outfit which hides my pregnancy, but I am planning on telling them after the offer stage. I will not actually start the job until August and I plan on finishing up at the end of September so they will only get 6 weeks out of me before I go off!

 

[Mrs_Bump]

I don't think you've done anything wrong. It is illegal for them to discriminate against you for being pregnant. I would tell them when you start so they can do the correct health and safety assessments to make sure you're safe at work. Good luck in your new job.

 

[IsabellaJayne]

Thank everyone. You've made me feel a lot better. And good luck with your interviews LoeyLo x

 

[Charmed86]

You're well within your rights to not tell them just yet, however.. With it being a care job, it might be worth telling sooner rather than later so they can protect you at work (heavy lifting, using cleaning products etc). Congratulations on your new job!

 

[monkee12]

Personally I would tell them, that's just me though x

 

[bitethebullet]

You're not legally obliged to tell them at this stage and my employers prefer not to learn too much about a person's personal life at the interview stage and as they are not allowed to discriminate against a pregnant candidate anyway.