is not looking forward to later today

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by charli19891, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. charli19891

    charli19891 Guest

    well last week OH nan passed away suddenly after being diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks ago.
    today we are going to see her at the chapel of rest and i am really scared as i have never seen a dead person :(
    when my dad passed away i wasn't allowed to see him as i was too young and today i am not sure if i want to see her. I have known her for 5 years and i saw her in the hospital before she passed away but never said bye as i thought i would see her the next day.

    has anyone been in a similiar situation to me? as i am not sure what to expect.

    sorry to rant lol x
     
  2. pinkpolkadot

    pinkpolkadot Well-Known Member

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    Aw I am so sorry :hugs: I've never done this but hope it goes OK for you today :flower:
     
  3. bump0911

    bump0911 Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    I've never had to do this but didn't want to read without replying. Good luck for today. :hugs:
     
  4. AndreaBat

    AndreaBat Well-Known Member

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    Hi hon

    My Mom passed away suddenly, in fact overnight and I never got to see her before she died so i wanted to see her in the chapel of rest. TBH they look like they are sleeping. I still remember the vision of her clearly. It is nothing to be afraid of BUT I will tel you the vision stays with you forever of them in the coffin. Big hug hon.
     
  5. charli19891

    charli19891 Guest

    thanks... my mum did tell me that my dad looked like he was sleeping, i am just not very good with things like this and have not been much support for my OH x
     
  6. Lawhra

    Lawhra NowProudMumOfTwo!!

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. When I lost my precious Grandma to cancer I did not see her in the chapel of rest as I just knew I did not want to see her lying in a coffin. Seeing her name on a headstone is bad enough :cry:

    Do what you feel is best for you, which sounds to me like not seeing her. It is ok not to. Good luck with what you decide :flower:
     
  7. AFatKindaThin

    AFatKindaThin Well-Known Member

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    hi hun my grandad passed away end of november and i never got to say goodbye as such so i went to see him and he looked fine. Just like he was sleeping. All i will say is it freaked me out a little when i touched him he was very cold and hard so be prepared for that as i wasn't. I hope today goes fine hun and if once your in there you feel bad just walk out. My sister had to she couldn't see grandad like that. X x x x
     
  8. bubulix

    bubulix Well-Known Member

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    My grandad died just over a year ago and as the oldest grandchild I felt I should go say goodbye. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye when he was alive I thought I should then. It wasn't too bad however I went in the room alone and that was the worst thing about it so all I'd say is have someone with you.
     
  9. SilverWillow

    SilverWillow 1 girl, cooking #2

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    That is so sad.
    I didn't go to see my Nan or my Dad when they died because I really didn't want the image of them in a coffin to stick in my head, I know what I'm like and that would have haunted me. I'm glad I didn't, my last memory of my Dad is him smiling and waving goodbye to me which is so much nicer.
    If you really don't want to go then you shouldn't, but make the decision you feel happy with I'm sure your OH will understand.
    Good luck :hugs:
     
  10. charli19891

    charli19891 Guest

    i want to be there to support him and i feel i would be able to cope with it, its just the way people say to me that you're gunna look at a dead person and its been 2 weeks since she passed away and that she won't look the same etc... its really freaking me out. i think people say these things to wind me up x
     
  11. MILF2011

    MILF2011 Guest

    wooh hoooo!!! Im excited for you!!

    I have mine on Tuesday neext week :)
     
  12. mummytobe86

    mummytobe86 Well-Known Member

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    My dad passed away at 44years old a didnt get to see him after he passed as he picked up loads of infections in hospital and we were not allowed a open coffin visit. It was really hard as we all wanted to put in something to remember us by. We loved playing cards and poker so my partner wanted to put in a poker chip, and I wanted to put in deck of cards. Tbh it just looks as though they are sleeping, I have been in the situation a few times as am a care wurker. They do there hair nice the way it always sat. And its as though they have just fallen asleep it just the coffin that will b upsetting for you. If you go in with memories then it will b easier. If you decide not too youmight regret it as others may say at a later time they looked so peaceful and you will regret not going in. :-( sorry for your lose x
     

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