Is spanking OK in your book

[Tigger Momma]

Ok so I saw another thread and thought that maybe we should talk about it. It's pretty contraversial and I think it will get the blood flowing........

I think spanking is OK in MODERATION............when they are little, a lil pop on the hand maybe but im bigger on making them maybe stand in the corner for a couple min like, if they are 4 make them stand in the corner for 4minutes. So I dont discourage spanking but it shouldnt be the first option that comes to mind.......
Spankings were very common in my family and viewed as discipline but only certain people were allowed to issue that type of punishiment....
Example, There was a little girl that I used to babysit and her mom didn't spank her or discipline her for that matter, well I would babysit her when she misbehaved she'd have to sit in timeout, mind you I was used to spankings being a form of discipline but I didn't want to spank her when she wasn't exposed to it and my methods of discipline made her act soooo much better. That taught me that spankings were not the only answer but could be used sparingly because I happened to turn out just fine...
what do you ladies think...............

 

[Vickie]

this doesn't really belong in the TTC journals section....is there another place you'd like me to move it?

 

[Tigger Momma]

Oh Shoot.......................Thank you so much, I just noticed that..................I wanted to post it in TTC, And I was about to Edit it also, I am sooooo sorry

 

[Scootpootie]

I took down my reply as I read that it's in the wrong section.

 

[Laura--x]

Im all for smacking (spanking). Not as first discipline, but if a child is being consistantly naughty or ignorant then they should get a smack in my eyes.

I think a child should get 3 warnings, 3 firm 'NO's and if they carry on, they get a smack. This is how my parents brought me up, told me no and if i still didn't listen on the 3rd i would get a smack. As soon as i was old enough to realise, i'd know that when they said no, they meant no, and if i carried on id get a smack. of course, i wouldn't want a smack so i'd stop it right there!

 

[Tigger Momma]

That is OK, you can post it again.......................Its in the right section now

 

[Tigger Momma]

Laura Thanks for the input...........very helpful......anymore ladies

 

[Chel]

I think its not something that should ever ever ever EVER done in anger. It shouldn't ever satisfy something in the parent.

I dont think it works anyway. It doesn't really achieve anything, so theres no reason for it except to make the parent feel they're in control, which isn't a good enough reason to hit a child. There are much more effective and clear forms of punishment (Like time out, grounding for older children, taking away privliges / toys - those kind of things)

-

That said, my mum was open to spanking, she didn't do it often, my brother got it a lot more than I did, because he was 'naughty' and I only was spanked once and it traumatised me (and mum!) so badly - I cried and sobbed for like an hour - so she never did it again... I was a sensitive litte soul -mum just had to give me a disaproving look and I'd cry.

Mum said it simply had no effect on my brother - when he was 3 he'd just turn around after being spanked and put his hands on his hips and say "you cant hit me" and then run for it!!!!

 

[Scootpootie]

Okay, I'll re-post then!
Well, I'm huge on time out. Sometimes, spanking just hurts, and that's it. With time out, I get down to my daughter's eye level, plainly explain what she did that was so wrong and why mommy is disappointed, then I explain what can happen as a result of her future wrongdoing. Then she must sit in a corner from 5-10 minutes, depending on the severity of her punishment. I am trying this way because my mom spanked first and talked later. Sometimes, she found that I didn't know any better, or that I didn't deserve the spanking. In these cases, I was hurt and confused and she was torn. Another reason that I'm trying this way is because my aunts who didn't spank my cousins did excellent jobs. I have cousins who have really never gotten into serious trouble and have excellent relationships with their moms because the line of communication was always open. They trusted their parents more than I did mine. Me, on the other hand, never trusted mom with anything in constant fear of discipline so I just did stupid things as a youngster. Got into trouble over stupid, yet detrimental things, whereas my cousins could go to their parents.
Catch me in 15 years. I'll tell you how this turned out for me and my kids!

 

[Tigger Momma]

I think its not something that should ever ever ever EVER done in anger. It shouldn't ever satisfy something in the parent.

I dont think it works anyway. It doesn't really achieve anything, so theres no reason for it except to make the parent feel they're in control, which isn't a good enough reason to hit a child. There are much more effective and clear forms of punishment (Like time out, grounding for older children, taking away privliges / toys - those kind of things)

-

That said, my mum was open to spanking, she didn't do it often, my brother got it a lot more than I did, because he was 'naughty' and I only was spanked once and it traumatised me (and mum!) so badly - I cried and sobbed for like an hour - so she never did it again... I was a sensitive litte soul -mum just had to give me a disaproving look and I'd cry.

Mum said it simply had no effect on my brother - when he was 3 he'd just turn around after being spanked and put his hands on his hips and say "you cant hit me" and then run for it!!!!

Yes, I think that it shouldnt be done in anger either and for some children, it simply isn't needed.........my mom was like that, she'd only ever gotten one spanking..........My hubby suffered child abuse and he's so against it.......He doesnt like spanking his son and if it needs to be done, he asks me because it upsets him..........so I know that when we have our own children, spanking will be done hardly ever if at all

 

[calm]

oh sh***t When I saw the title, I thought you meant something very different... like did we think when TTC would spanking games be okay when having sex or would it be inappropriate... LOL

 

[Kimmer]

I believe hitting children is completely wrong. Spanking, smacking, hitting, call it what you like..

If someone does something bad, you can't just hit them for it. A child is a person in its own right.

All it does is teaches fear. "I won't do that because mummy will hurt me"

My nephews get smacked when they're naughty. It seems just like a threat.

I wouldn't hit a dog if it was naughty, just like I wouldn't hurt a child.

If I was out on the streets and someone pissed me off and I hit them, I'd be done for assault!

My opinion. I would never hit anyone.

 

[Tigger Momma]

oh sh***t When I saw the title, I thought you meant something very different... like did we think when TTC would spanking games be okay when having sex or would it be inappropriate... LOL

 

[Tigger Momma]

since we are all TTC I was wondering if we would do that to our future babes I should have clarified it..............

 

[Tigger Momma]

I believe hitting children is completely wrong. Spanking, smacking, hitting, call it what you like..

If someone does something bad, you can't just hit them for it. A child is a person in its own right.

All it does is teaches fear. "I won't do that because mummy will hurt me"

My nephews get smacked when they're naughty. It seems just like a threat.

I wouldn't hit a dog if it was naughty, just like I wouldn't hurt a child.

If I was out on the streets and someone pissed me off and I hit them, I'd be done for assault!

My opinion. I would never hit anyone.

When you were a child were you spanked or not...........Just wondering..........I

 

[BizyBee]

oh sh***t When I saw the title, I thought you meant something very different... like did we think when TTC would spanking games be okay when having sex or would it be inappropriate... LOL

 

[BizyBee]

I was spanked on the hand maybe 3 times as a child. My mom was firm and often used time out. On the very rare occasions that she smacked us, it was quite effective. A little tap on the hand showed us that mom meant business. My siblings and I are certainly not scarred by it. My grandma still talks about how good we were as kids. I think it depends on the severity of the behavior, the age of the child, the force of the hit, and the frequency it is used.

 

[Kimmer]

I was smacked as a child. I wasn't a very good child and my mum couldn't take it. I used to beat my brother up, bite him and once actually broke his nose.

There are other ways of discipline and I certainly do agree with that.

Parents are adults and need to have more respect than children do.

If a child hits another child, then the parent hits their child, surely that makes the parent just as bad? Teaches the child hitting is okay?

 

[Kota]

oh sh***t When I saw the title, I thought you meant something very different... like did we think when TTC would spanking games be okay when having sex or would it be inappropriate... LOL

Oh I'm sooooo glad I'm not the only one who's mind went in this direction!!!

 

[vikki-leigh45]

I got smacked a lot when i was younger but when i got to the age of 12 my mum told my dad that cause im getting older he cant do it anymore so he didnt. I remember when i was about 14 though my dad slapped me right round my face. But when i look back i was a great kid but when i did one thing wrong i got smacked so i wouldnt say i deserved it or that it worked. I wouldn't slap anyone let alone anyone smaller than me, yano how brothers and sisters fight/squabble well i couldnt touch my little brother hes 4 years younger than me and i could never do it even when he threw his toys at me and i could never bring myself to it so i dont think id physically be able to hit my child as a mother cause arent you supposed to be PROTECTING them not smacking them?
Also my older brother and dad used to fight a lot and once i remember hearing my mum just constantly hitting my brother outside my door cause he used to kick her and she warned him like 10 times but i was crying my eyes out even hearing it so i dont think i would be able to live with myself cause who would want to hurt their child? especially when they're younger like under 10 years old, so small compared to you.
Supernanny all the way!!!! lol naughty step
And by the way the other type of spanking what people thought you meant lmao yeah we do that dunno if it helps though lol