Is this normal procedure? -Doctor referring me to health visitor, HELP!

[dimple123]

Today my 12 month old son went to the doctors with his grandad, as I was really ill and thought it was best he still went rather than me cancel it. Anyway it was a nurse that saw him, and she told my father in law it was uncceptable that I wasn't there and that his nappy and trousers were too tight, and now she is sending my health visitor over to my house next week. This has really upset me because I really think it was in his best interest that he went, and he wasn't with a stranger he was with his grandad, I mean it's family! My partner works nights so therefore couldn't take him as it's his bed time at 7am and he was knackered. He changed his nappy and trousers so I don't know how tight his nappy was, but I checked his trousers just now and they're size 2-3 years and the pair in question are too big for him! I've never had a health visitor sent over following an appointment at the doctors, and it turned out there wasn't anything wrong with him, so I don't understand why my health visitor has been informed. I am so upset and angry

 

[mrsm712]

I'd ring and ask to speak to the practice manager if I was you. I can understand them wanting a parent present for appointments, but usually our doctors just ask you to send a letter of consent with them if someone else is bringing the child, they don't refer you to a health visitor!! I would usually suggest speaking to the nurse who made the referral but I think i'd be too annoyed in this case with her comments about the nappy and trousers so I'd go to the practice manager and see if she can explain it

 

[sue_88]

I agree with PP. Ring the practice and make a complaint.

You are mum and you know how to dress your child suitably! Being referred to a HV for poor fitting clothes is just insane?!

And your son was with family - how peed off do doctors get when apts are cancelled, at least you & FIL made the effort to get your son into the practice!

Hope you get the apology you deserve. Could you also ring the HV and express your upset and anger that they have been informed of such a none matter?

 

[sbl]

As pp's have said I would definitely ring and make a complaint.
Tbh nurses really aren't in any position to refer your child to a HV just because his pants were ill fitting.
Is this the first time you had to miss an appointment with your son? I only ask this as over here if the mother misses appointments then they are usually keen to see them and will make an appointment that suits the mum.
Ring up and ask why this bothered the nurse so much that she felt the need to call out the HV to your home.
xx

 

[felix555]

I'd call the practice manager and make a complaint and then phone the HV to let her know what has happened and that you are not happy about it!

 

[Meganmae]

What a rude woman! Make a complaint, I would, that nurse needs to get on with her job, worried about trousers lol wtf!! My my has taken my lo to the doctors when I've been ill. Seriously you need to put them straight!

 

[Sarah125]

I would definitely make a complaint and make sure you get an apology

 

[Amy_T]

Mine wasn't the same situation but I went to my GP in sheer desperation with help for my daughters sleeping (she was 2.5 at the time), I took my mum with me as I had my baby there too. My GP was horrible to me, told me I had been too soft on my daughter and I obviously wasn't trying methods properly otherwise she would sleep. Anyway, she said she would contact the health visitor to 'help' but when I spoke to the HV the GP had said there were "concerns" and was worded very accusatory in my opinion.

Anyway, my HV was lovely and said my Gp had given bad advice etc. looking back I wish I had complained but just wasn't in the right mindset. I would be tempted to complain if I were you, they should have better things to do, surely it's more of a concern if your son didn't go to the docs at all!?!

 

[sequeena]

That is awful, definitely complain. How ridiculous is that nurse?!

 

[HPmum2B]

I am pretty sure in their red book (assuming all parts of the UK have red books, or a child health record book of some sort), I am sure there is a page where you can name anyone you are happy to take your child to the doctors on your behalf. I would say a grandparent is perfectly acceptable.
If you get a call from the health visitor, I would explain to them the situation (chances are they wont even know why they need to see you), and just decline their visit.

 

[dimple123]

thankyou for all your replies, i will indeed be making a formal complaint, as my father in law also informed me that the nurse has made an appointment next week with a doctor for a follow up. Really frustrating as there was nothing wrong with him. She also apparently commented on the fact he was pale and has a blue mark near the bridge of his nose which he's had since he was born ! apparently she thought it was a bruise even though it was explained to her it was a birthmark! He's naturally very pale (same as me) I just don't understand her though process grrrr...

 

[aliss]

wtf... my FIL takes my kids to the nurses all the time (I don't speak the local language well). What horseshit. Apparently having loving grandparents is an issue now, lol.

 

[laila 44]

That's outrageous! My mom always takes dd to dr appointments especially when I was pregnant on bedrest wtf.

 

[summer rain]

Good God! She'd probably think I was beating my baby then, he has a bruise like birthmark on the bridge of his nose and similar on one of his eyelids AND Mongolian blue spot. It's pretty impossible to fasten modern nappies too tightly as they have stretchy sides to a greater or lesser extent, even 'value' nappies tend to have these. I have experienced similar but from an a&e doctor. My middle son when he was about three leaned into the cooker as I was getting some cookies out of it and burnt his forehead close to the hairline very slightly on the oven shelf. That was on a Saturday and there are no walk in centres nearby and I thought being a Saturday the a&e would be packed to the rafters with dangerous drunks so I decided to leave it until the Sunday, keep an eye in it and see if there was any improvement but it was the same so decided to go.

I got told off by the a&e receptionist for coming in for something so minor despite NHS choices website saying any burn on the face of an under-five has to be checked, and then after 3-4 hours wait a doctor saw us and was at first telling me off for coming in after 24 hours questioning why we waited but them saying it was a very minor burn and there was nothing they could do for it anyway. He then said 'I have reported this to the HV team and one of them WILL be coming to check your home'. All that ended up happening was a patronising nursery nurse, not even HV phoned up and lectured me on the dangers of cookers and telling me how I should have a safety gate, when I did but my son could open it by that age. They were too busy to come over for that though they did send some jobs worth of a HV over at a later time to update their records and she reported us for home educating which caused us many problems but that's a whole other story xx

 

[Peggy O]

Holy crap, what a bitch. I would call the office, tell her to piss off, then change doctors. WTF? I am not sure if you can easily change there but no one should question your parenting like that, especially some nurse. Ridiculous. My daughter has "skinny jean" leggings that are tight looking, but not actually tight, and I love them because they keep her socks on. Somebody call the authorities on me....quick!