Is this normal? Trouble settling.

[kateqpr]

Well after the worst night sleep ever this week, i'm determind to get Poppy into some sort of routine. We had been bringing her down stairs when she was crying, which then of course just woke her up more.

So, i've been taking her upstairs around 7.30ish, then giving her some 'wind down' time, having nappy free time, a little massage, then into pj's. Then a quiet feed in our bedroom in the dark, then into her moses basket...

sounds like a good plan, but when i put her into her cot, all sleepy, swaddled, she looks like she's going to settle. I leave her, then five mins later she's screaming. This goes on for about an hour (with me going in every 5 mins or so, and rubbing her tummy and singing to her). Eventually she goes to sleep, then she's great for the rest of the night.

Does anyone else have this problem? I'm hoping as i do this routine more she'll start to accept being put to bed more easily, rather than really fighting it. I just find the crying hard, but am guessing this is normal for some babies who don't quite understand what bed time means yet? I don;t feel comfortable letting her CIO as she's so young, so just trying not to pick her up (if i know she;s not dirty, hungry etc), just singing to her and eventually this routine seems to work.

I'm thinking of taking her to see a cranial osteopath to see if that might help, as she was ventouse and had a stressful delivery.

Do you think she'll get better? Determind to keep this bedtime routine up now we've started, in the hope she'll start to know night and day.

Or any other settling tips?

 

[isil]

it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job! Seriously, I was rubbish at trying to get into a routine and you're doing all the sensible good things that should help Poppy go off by herself. I certainly understand the not wanting to let her CIO at her age. She could still be a bit colicky at her age, has she suffered from it before? I'm finding it hard to give advice because, if I'm honest, I can't even remember what I did with Alasdair at Poppy's age. I think I just fed him to sleep every night! I've read good things about cranial osteopaths on here but I personally have no experience with them. Although Alasdair had a rather traumatic birth too so maybe it's something I should have experience with! Hope others have some better advice for you.

 

[LuluBee]

i'd say it's probably not unusual honey, i class Alex as quite a well behaved and settled baby but he often has trouble settling down for the night. it was only really in the last couple of weeks that we noticed he'd set his own bedtime and we found that by 8 o'clock every night he was fast asleep - wherever we were and whatever we were doing. so we set up a routine around that and it works really well - although there are odd nights when he goes down more easily than others. you might find she just needs a couple more weeks to get used to bedtime?

 

[Bec L]

We used to have just the same problems with Poppy as you do and we gave up trying to get her down for the night any earlier than about 10pm! If we did it bfore we would just be up and down the stairs all night trying to settle her. She was at least 4 or 5 months before she started to bring the time forward herself, and would start being tired at 8ish, then 7ish etc and now we take her up before 7 for bath, bed, book, boob and then she goes down.

 

[Ema]

My best bit of advice is GO to the osteopath, i took jacob when he was 6 weeks old as he had a very stressful birth got stuck and need forceps. And it turned out his front of his head was quiet tight and hadn't re-shaped what it should have. And his diagphram was tight causing more wind than normal to trap. So after 8 sessions (£45 a go) Best money i ever spent as he was alot more settle in himself. Never slept through the night but was more settled and now i dont feed him in the night and he a has strict nightime rountine, he has a bath at 7.10 bottle at 7.30 and i put him in his cot and off he goes to sleep at 8 and i dont hear him till 5-6.30 amish we do get the bad night now and again with his teeth but so far rountine has really helped with us. XxX

 

[caggimedicine]

Sounds like you've got a lovely little bedtime routine going on there.... but maybe when she starts crying you could try just going in, stroking her head/face or giving her a dummy and walking out. Once Harry has gone to bed we don't talk to him at all - we have as little contact with him as possible, only going in if we absolutely have to. We do this because we found that the more we picked him up when he was crying, or talked to him etc, the more he woke up and when he's tired and can't go to sleep he's a nightmare. I don't know - it sounds like you've got a lovely little routine at bedtime going - may be just worth a try cutting out the singing/tummy rubbing etc?

 

[lillysmum]

it sounds like your doing all the right things, the wind down time is great to get them into the mind frame of "now it's bedtime". You're doing the best thing by settling her and checking on her and not bringing her back down as you're not giving in which would only make it harder to get her to settle the next night. Keep doing what you are doing and she will get better every night until she is able to settle herself to sleep which is a key skill for babies to learn - especially if the parents want a decent nights sleep

 

[lauzliddle]

I do the same with alfie. I used to take him up around 7:30 too but he wouldn't settle so I changed it by 30 min now he does everything the same as he used to and is put into his cot 75% asleep around 9 pm then is fast asleep for 9:15 until 5:30-6:30 ish we have been in this routine for 5 weeks now and knows what happens and gets cranky if he's not in bed by 9. When he does get unsettled we never talk to him just put his dummy in.
Keep to it hun your LO will get used to it soon enough and it will all be worth it

 

[Jemima]

Kate, I keep reading your posts and thinking our Poppies are quite similar. She was a very stressed little baby when she was little. She cried a lot, was very colicky/windy and tricky to settle. A few people suggested osteopathy to me when she was little as I too had a nasty delivery, ventouse, lots of drama, not what I had hoped for.

I have to say though, you are doing really well with the routine and she will soon start to respond to it, I'm sure. I felt it was important to get Poppy into a bit of a routine quite early on, even though people advised against it. It was just before Christmas when we started so she would have been around 11 weeks, I suppose. It took a few weeks of doing everything at the same times and in the same order but she soon picked up on it and settled into it well. I didn't start letting her settle herself until she was around 3.5 months though if I'm honest. I mainly cuddled and rocked her to sleep as this seemed to calm her down.

Do you give her a bath too? Poppy really loves her bath, always has and I think this is a big signal that bedtime is coming and helps to tire her out too.

I know you will have heard this before, but I can assure you that once she gets to around 3 months, she will start to calm down for you. And from then onwards, you will notice her calming down more and more as each month goes by. Our Poppy is actually quite chilled now, if a little sensitive. You should take a look at the Baby Whisperer book. That helped me to fathom out a lot of her mysterious little foibles in the early months!

Good luck. x