Is this normal???

[Jo-anne]

Hi Ladies I am really needing some advice please.

Last night I got really upset Lewis would not stop crying - I done everything possible to stop it. However the crying got worse and it started ringing through my head.

The tears were running down my face as I was rocking him I started to get so frustrated and angry I shouted at him and banged his swing.

I feel I am not any good at motherhood and the constant being on my own with him is effecting my bonding.

I had visited the Dr on Thursday as I am so dizzy and weak, the tiredness is so hard to deal with.

Is it normal to get angry like that with him - my family are making me worse as they ask would I harm him. Of course I wouldnt but am finding motherhood so hard to cope with.

 

[Lauz_1601]

This is totally normal! When Ella was a baby she was crying and crying once and I couldnt get anything done and like you said the crying was ringing in my ears, and I shouted "shut up, you can cry all you want" then afterwards I felt really really bad. You obviously care very much for him, thats evident just by the fact you made this post worrying.

How old is he now ? The constant crying could be from colic so maybe have a word with the HV about this. Its hard at times hun, but things will get better, hormones everywhere and tiredness dont go in our favour and make things harder to deal with.

You will bond with him, trust me, you might be worrying about it right now, in time you will find that everything will fall into place and you'll be a very happy mummy.

Chin up hun and you know where we are if u need to talk xxx

 

[KX]

Jo- u have seen me shout at madam, u r only human.

When Rebecca never slept when she was a buba I seriously wanted to throw her out my window lots of times

has the Dr checked you for PND?

 

[Jo-anne]

Lewis is coming up for 8 weeks.

He screams mostly when tired but refuses to sleep.

I did not get tested for PND - dont know what the symptoms are dont feel depressed x

 

[KX]

people dont always know they are depressed or have pnd. I didn't.

 

[beanie]

I agree with what everyone else has said but just wanted to pass on what worked for me when Seren went through her non-stop crying phase. I would put her in a sling and would wear her, it always worked and she would either fall asleep or just settle down. Or I would put her in her buggy and go for a wlak - she would fall asleep and I would feel better for just getting out.

The crying will also stop, Seren cried non-stop for 3 months - yet after that she hardly ever cries and is such an easy baby now.

Is there someone who could perhaps just look after him for an hour or so just to give you a break at night?

 

[Cat]

Ypu know Iwas just about to say what Beanie did, google 'baby wearing' their has been a whole load of research on it and how good it is for baby development and they reckon it decreases baby crying by over 50% and helps with colic in particular, it may really help you, plus it means you arnt as tied down cause you can still get up and do stuff with your hands free.

Dont feel bad about shouting at Lewis I think we have all lost it at some point with our kids. I know I have been guilty on several occasions of shouting at Noah to shut up when he is having a tantrum over not getting his own way and I cant even hear myself think. Its natural especially if your sleep deprived! I still believe that the best thing to do when they are constantly screaming and crying like that, is to make sure they a clean and fed and lay them down, shut the door and walk away, go downstairs put the TV on so you cant hear them and give yourself 5 mins to calm yourself down. Its going to be far better for both of you than if you drive yourself to tears trying to deal with them. It also often works to stop them crying too as when you go back to them they are just so happy to see you again they stop the crying.

 

[LynnieH]

I was just about to post exactly what Cat did about walking away. Jonny had colic and there were nights when he would scream and scream. I was breastfeeding and OH just used to give him to me saying I think he needs a feed when there was nothing I could do. I did sometimes put the bouncy cjair in front of the washing machine and this seemed to work. Above all YOU ARE NORMAL!!!

 

[Jo-anne]

Thanks for the replies ladies.

It is good to know other ladies feel the same.

x

 

[Spunky Cupkake]

hi jo can ask is he in a routine with you sounds to me as if hes over tired but wont give in to sleep the only thing i can suggest is too have a chat with the health visitor she might be able to help and i doubt very very much you are a bad mother there are plenty of times i have been in tears and thought to myself i cant take much more plus i only have my mum and dad to watch our son and when she was working i found it really hard as i felt i needed a break from him but with only my parents as dp parents his mum has passed away and dad lives abroad its very hard dont beat yourself up about thats just part and parcel of having a baby good luck spunky xxx
i know you shouldnt give anything until 4 months but i never listened to my health visitor because a baby isnt born with an instruction manual so how can they say when to give a baby food what did he weigh when he was born what milk is he on?

 

[Jo-anne]

spunky i try to keep a routine of bath, botte & bed . Any advice ?

 

[Spunky Cupkake]

why dont you try him with a quarter of a rusk and some of his milk and then give him a bath and then the rest of his milk he might be hungry thats what i used to do with mine he should sleep a good couple of hours for you but as hes small only use a little bit of a rusk with part of his feed spunky xx