Is this okay to ask? Re: Smoking

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by x__amour, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    20,274
    Likes Received:
    1
    *PLEASE NOTE: I AM NOT JUDGING ANYONE.*

    We're moving to Florida in 2 months and my mom is going to be watching LO while OH and I work. My mother smokes (only outside) but I know that smoke can cling to clothes, etc.

    I've talked to my father a lot about this and we both agree that I shouldn't ask her to quit smoking because she must be willing to quit on her own but he thinks it'd be okay to ask her to not smoke when watching Tori or use an e-cigarette.

    Do you think that's okay? :flower:
     
  2. I agree that you shouldn't ask her to quit smoking, because that's a personal decision she should make for herself (and would probably be more successful if she made it, rather than felt pressured into it)

    However, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your mother to not smoke around your LO. If she wants to pop outside for a smoke, that's fine, but perhaps ask her to wash and change her clothes before handling LO again? I am sure she will understand your point of view and will agree to it. :flower:
     
  3. _jellybean_

    _jellybean_ Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2011
    Messages:
    10,609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Could you buy her "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking?" I smoked 2-3 packs per day for 20 years, and it really helped me quit. Someone bought it for me. Maybe that would help her.
     
  4. hellohefalump

    hellohefalump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    2
    I wouldn't go as far as to ask her to change her clothes every time she smokes, I mean say you smoke ten a day, that's ten changes of clothes and that's a bit mad!

    I'd just tell her she has to smoke outside and not around LO, and wash her hands after.

    It's a tricky one, I do see your point, I smoke, and I stopped for a bit and I really noticed the smell when someone's had a fag... But I think it's unreasonable to ask her to stop altogether (do you realise how hard it is to stop?!) so you're going to have to compromise with her...

    I do think you could buy her an e cig, (they're expensive) and ask her to TRY it and see what she thinks... If she gets on with it then possibly she could just smoke that round LO, but if she doesn't get on with it there's not much else you can do...

    This is a question so be nice to me... But really, smelling the smell of smoke in other people's clothes, is that really bad for you? I mean I can see that breathing in actual smoke is bad, but isn't it just a smell? Does the smell actually go into your lungs and cause illnesses?

    I just ask, because I smoke and I don't change my clothes when I come in... An I harming my kids? Because neither of my kids have asthma or anything and I've been smoking (not heavily, but a medium amount ) for three years...
     
  5. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    20,274
    Likes Received:
    1
    I believe it's called 3rd hand smoke, which is a pretty new discovery, but often why people wear designated "smoking jackets".

     
  6. hellohefalump

    hellohefalump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ohh! Learnt something new today

    Thanks, does third hand smoke cause smoke related illness? I mean, is it really really wrong of me to not change clothes?
     
  7. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    20,274
    Likes Received:
    1
    I'm not sure! They're still doing a lot of studies on it. :flower:
     
  8. hellohefalump

    hellohefalump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    2
    Thanks for not being judgemental

    For the record I do want to stop but I'm very addicted (I have schizoaffective disorder which is put very simply bipolar depression and schizophrenia) because of my illness it actually helps relieve the schizophrenia symptoms so its very hard for me to stop because I literally go a bit mental! But every now and again I do try to cut down.
     
  9. chubbin

    chubbin Proud mum of one

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2009
    Messages:
    1,535
    Likes Received:
    0
    As a smoker, i personally would be unable to watch a child for a full day if i couldnt go outside for the occassional fag. I would wash my hands afterwards, but other than that, it would be out of the question for me not to smoke. Its terrible that an addiction comes before helping out family, but the truth is, it would. Id be a totally strung out mess otherwise, and probably more of a health risk to the child as a consequence.
     
  10. hellohefalump

    hellohefalump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    2
    ^i feel like that too
     
  11. Tor

    Tor Mummy of 2

    Joined:
    May 17, 2010
    Messages:
    2,912
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah I agree with the others, definitely she should smoke outside and wash hands, brush teeth when she comes in but I don't think you can really tell a smoker not to smoke for a whole day while looking after your child. Well you can but then you kinda have to accept if they say they cant watch your child.
     
  12. BigAl

    BigAl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2012
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would speak to your mum, tell her your worries without asking anything. See what she says, she might offer to try an ecig herself.

    Otherwise you could ask her to put a coat on to cover up her clothes, and wash hands afterwards. I think that is the most you can ask really.
     
  13. J04NN4

    J04NN4 Mum of Felix

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    2,158
    Likes Received:
    0
    I smoke and always wash my hands and mouth before going near my son. I also have a designated coat that I wear for smoking and nothing else so I never wear it near LO. I know quitting would be best but I feel that these are reasonable precautions to take. Could you ask your mum to do this?

    BTW it's really nice to see a thread on this topic that is actually offering practical advice rather than judgement and shaming :thumbup:
     
  14. m4nc3r

    m4nc3r Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2010
    Messages:
    589
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't smoke, and I ask people not to smoke near Zane.
    I don't think it is unreasonable to ask her to use an E-cig during the day if possible, but I also don't think there is that much to worry about...

    Smoke can cling, but it is mostly just the smell and if she is only smoking a few a day it's highly unlikely to transfer in a large enough amount to cause any actual problems.
    I know it is disgusting when your child comes home smelling like smoke... everyone in both our familes smoke (except me and OH) and I absolutely hate it!! They do go outside normally, but not always when its particularly cold and you can really smell the difference ... which leads me to believe that since the smell never transfers to Zane or us when they have gone outside, that it doesn't cling "enough" to cause severe problems and I certainly wouldn't let it affect my relationship with family over it if she does have trouble..
     
  15. _Vicky_

    _Vicky_ Mum to twins

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    7,767
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am an ex-smoker and also wouldn't have been able to not smoke all day - I don't know what e-cigs are like so can't comment there.

    I think just setting the rules is fine and cleaning teeth and washing hands, I like the idea of a smoking jacket maybe a light coat or something that is put on and left outside is a fab idea!
     
  16. lollipop92

    lollipop92 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think washing hands is as far as I would go. I smoke, I go outside for one then wash my hands when I come in. Really don't think its a huge issue, just more medical professionals trying to make people panic over nothing! X
     
  17. CelticStar

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Messages:
    1,433
    Likes Received:
    0
    The toxins in smoke remain toxic for up to an hour after the last cigarette has been smoked, I have always asked that if anyone has smoked in the last hour then not to pick up my daughter. Luckily there's only my sister that smokes and she doesn't mind not smoking when my daughter is around.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice