Is this wrong?

[Mrs.Knight]

Ok so I had a chemical pregnancy over a week ago and bled for 4 days...my husband was upset when I told him I was pregnant and wants to wait a couple years to try...however we have had unprotected sex three times since I had the chemical and he has "gone" inside me...I really want another bfp next month so I've been letting him do his thing even though I know he doesn't want a kid for a couple years but on the other hand, he's 31...he knows if we have sex unprotected there's a chance of pregnancy....is it wrong of me to keep letting him go unprotected and hope for a bfp?

 

[bdb84]

As long as he isn't under any impression that you are using any form of birth control yourself, then I don't think it's wrong. He's a grown man and knows how babies are made. If he doesn't want a child right now, he needs to be using protection himself or making sure you are instead.

 

[x-ginge-x]

Yes it is wrong, I suggest you sit down and talk to him telling him that losing a baby has made you realise that you want one. If he really doesn't want one then he should have used protection to prevent it x

 

[CP x]

I don't think so, he is fully aware that having unprotected sex can lead to a pregnancy. If he was really serious about not wanting a baby for a couple years than I would think he would be doing everything he can to prevent that from happening. Maybe the chemical pregnancy just really got to him and he's scared he'll have to go through that again and that's why he said to wait a couple years. I bet if you got pregnant soon he would be excited.

 

[Andypanda6570]

LOL.He is a man, 31 is a man and he is responsible for himself.. It's not even sneaky, you are doing nothing wrong IMO.. Why shouldn't you take advantage of it, I would...Now if you were telling him you are protected and it was a lie, then yes you are wrong..But you are not doing that..

Aww men, gotta love them..Good Luck

 

[maryanne1987]

Personally I'd sit down and have a conversation with your husband about what you both want and the chances of it happening again if you continue not to use protection. I think it's always best to be on the same page when it comes to making a baby. As much as you would think he would be sensible enough to know personally I wouldn't just leave it to chance.

 

[Jessicahide]

I don't think this is fair of you.... Sorry!

 

[Eleanor ace]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. If he chooses to ejaculate inside you he knows there is a chance it could result in pregnancy. I'd say it's more unfair on you, knowing that you want to be pregnant now and saying one thing (that he doesn't want a baby now) but doing another (having unprotected sex which of course he knows is how babies are made). If it was me I'd talk to my DH about how he's feeling, whether he is conflicted about waiting or whether the chemical has made him re-evaluate; it's always best to be open and on the same page and fairest to you both.

 

[justplay91]

I don't think this is "wrong," really, in the sense that sabotaging birth control is wrong. He obviously knows what ejaculating inside you can do. However, if he doesn't want a child right now, I think it would be best of you to ask him what his thinking is. Let him know his actions aren't matching his words, and it's left you confused. Perhaps he is conflicted on the idea of having a baby right now.

 

[lewood88]

Tbf i dont see it as being wrong at the end of the day if he knows theres bo prevention and he aint covering it up then i see nothing wrong, it takes 2 to tango in my opinion x

 

[orionfox]

Obviously he knows he can cause you to get pregnant...but you need to have a sit down with him and get the truth from him. Find out does he actually want kids now or not. If not then either you need to get on bc or he has to wear a condom. Honestly you both need to settle fully on the baby thing, as its only going to cause issues in the end if you two arent on the same page mentally.

 

[mrsconte]

I think the fact that you know he isn't ready, and you may be more aware of your ovulation schedule than him, it is wrong. You need to be on the same page. Yes, it is irresponsible of him to continue doing this when we knows what could happen....but I would not want to start a family while not being on the same page as my husband. This should be a joyous time, and when both of you are ready it will be much mor enjoyable for you.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

I had a bit of a similar experience, after a mmc and 2 chemical pregnancies my OH
Said he wanted to stop, no more children. It was hard because i wanted another baby but it should only be an option if its what you both want so i decided to just worry about finding out the reason i was losing babies, so i had scans etc and it was due to my PCOS apparently so i was put on metformin, i started doing ovulation tests to see if hand metformin was working and when ovulation test came up positive i told My fiance, we then BD that night and didnt use protection, and that happened a few more times, i spoke to him about it because he had said no more kids which had confused me with the unprotected sex, turned out he didnt want to think about trying or the possibility of pregnancy because it hurt too much because of our losses, he did want another baby but when he thought too much about it he couldn't because he was scared we would lose another one, maybe your husband is sort of there same way and he wants another baby but doesn't want to try, he obviously knows what will happen with unprotected sex but i would talk to him about it hun for your own peace of mind

 

[Mrs.Knight]

I don't keep track of my ovulation, I decided to kinda just go with the flow and if it happens, it happens and I wasn't "forcing it" in any way by purposely having sex on my ovulation days...

 

[boobear2872]

I think you need to tell him how you feel. If you want a baby you need to be doing that anyway. You dont want him toresent you or baby. He may be thinking you have It covered ya know.

 

[starryjune]

Better to have an honest talk about it now than after you're pregnant and he could react negatively, leaving you feeling lonely and deserted, or causing resentment. Maybe he really just doesn't understand how conception works... men can be clueless. He might just assume you're preventing and would speak up if you thought you were fertile that day.

 

[ashleyg]

I think it's wrong but he's a grown man who knows that if you don't use protection there's a chance he can get you pregnant. I think if he was truly adamant about NOT wanting kids, he would be a lot more careful. I still think you should sit down and talk to him about it and be honest about how you feel. If you do get pregnant BOTH of you need to be ready and excited for it.

 

[CWB86]

Yes it's wrong- and by you asking the question it seems there's a part of you that thinks it is aswell

Everyone should have the choice as to if and when they have a child. It's one thing saying he should no how a baby is made but at the end of the day he may feel if he's told you how he feels he trusts you to stick to that

I would take to him, as the other reply said, let him know how much you want one

It's not good in a relationship to make the decision for him, to me it's deceitful.

But that's my opinion

 

[xxmyheartxx]

He knows what he is doing when he does it! Hes a grown man and I would like to think he knows how babies are made! Xx

 

[boobear2872]

True, but he may think she has it covered especially after he told her he doesnt want kids now. Sometimes guys can be quit dense.