It was to much for me.

[manduh726]

Tonight my family celebrated Christmas and I had to leave early. I couldn't do it. There is a couple people pregnant and one young baby and I couldn't be there. All the people could talk about was pregnancy and babies. Jan 1 will be four years of my husband and I trying for our first. I just want to curl up and cry.
I tried telling husband but I am not good with emotions and he just doesn't understand. This has been a hard Christmas.

 

[gonnagetabump]

Me too.. me to. The feeling is way to much to bare... It doesn't really help that everything sets me into tears... ever sincecd 1... especially in church....Iose it... Crying all the time

 

[manduh726]

I just spent the last ten minutes bawling my eyes out. To the point I almost threw up. I feel like I am being punished.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Tonight my family celebrated Christmas and I had to leave early. I couldn't do it. There is a couple people pregnant and one young baby and I couldn't be there. All the people could talk about was pregnancy and babies. Jan 1 will be four years of my husband and I trying for our first. I just want to curl up and cry.
I tried telling husband but I am not good with emotions and he just doesn't understand. This has been a hard Christmas.

I'm so sorry manduh. That is heartbreaking. My best friend and her hubby tried for 3+ years, and now have a beautiful 6 month old daughter. I'm sure it is easier said than done, but don't give up hope!!!

 

[manduh726]

I have given up hope and I think this is why this Christmas was so hard.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Manduh, I just saw your new post...I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers that you can get some rest and peace. We can't see the big picture, but God can. And I have no clue why this TTC journey is so hard for some couples, but you aren't being punished...when it finally does happen for you, it will be so worth the tough journey!

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Me too.. me to. The feeling is way to much to bare... It doesn't really help that everything sets me into tears... ever sincecd 1... especially in church....Iose it... Crying all the time

Gonna--I love your verse in your signature. : ) we are also trying for #2. I had an early miscarriage at 4 wks 3 days last week. I spent the next 2 days at home bawling. We are devastated, but ready to move forward now. I hope it happens for you soon!!

Manduh, I hope you get some rest and some good news very, very soon!

Hugs to both of you ladies!

 

[manduh726]

Awe you ladies are sweet. That's why I love this board. Hope we all get bfp soon.

 

[manduh726]

I feel so drained today! I cried myself to sleep. Ugggg

 

[manduh726]

I just went to re look at my test that I cracked open and threw away and I swear I see a line. But obviously it over ten minutes old and opened. I have gotten false positive before with frer but what do you think? In person it has color to it.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Well, I definitely see what you're talking about. In terms of how I am personally though, I know I cling to anything to get my hopes up. So I don't want you to do that, because I know how hard that is. : ( Do you have another test you could take in the morning? Where are you in your cycle? I'm so sorry you had a bad night. : ( I was thinking about you this morning and hoping you were having a better day!!!

 

[manduh726]

No that was my last test and I took it because I thought I am depressed now might as well. I have one dollar tree test because I just took one and it was negative but I didn't hold pee and have been drinking soda this whole morning. My cycles are nuts I can go months with out a period. I have PCOS. So I have no idea I just know I got my first ever positive opk this month in four years of testing.

Thank you for thinking about me. I just feel emotionally drained. I knew I shouldn't have dug that test back out. I have been down this road before.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Ugh, that is emotionally draining!!! But, even if you don't get a BFP this month, that HAS to be a good sign that you got a positive on an OPK, right?? Its soooo hard not to get your hopes up when you want something so badly.

 

[manduh726]

I know. The opks almost turned into a night mare I swore I had positives for like 8 days. I was like first I can't get one now I can't get rid of them!

 

[SoBlessedMama]

How weird!! Was it the same brand OPK that you always use? (We've never tried using any before, so I don't know a lot about them.) But I'd say either way, a positive OPK is at least a step in the right direction. But after the positives, I see why it is so hard to face that maybe this is another BFN month. : ( I hope it isn't, though! I hope you get some good news! Did you ask your doctor about getting positives for so many days?

 

[manduh726]

It was dollar tree brand and I have been using them for years. Only thing that gets me about test was I thought I saw something which in time frame but I got frustrated with myself for opening it and pitched it.

No I didn't I need to go back to my gyno I just havent yet.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

I completely understand that. Lol I swear I have dissected every single test I've ever taken.

That would be so exciting! I know you don't want to get your hopes up, though. Are you going to retest soon or wait?

 

[manduh726]

I bought some generic drug store ones. They are the blue dye. I hear those have false positives but they were good on price and had three in a box. I can buy a better one when I get paid. I wont lie ill probably test tomorrow.

 

[manduh726]

I figured out how to invert the picture.

 

[twiggy56]

There is definitely a line there!!!

Not sure if it has colour or what but there is a definite line there!

Hope its the start of your bfp!