Hello everyone an thank you in advance for reading this IF anyone does at all its more just to vent.
Ok so here i go.
I started bleeding on the 20th Oct I foned NHS 24 they said i should be fine but made an appointment for me the next day to go in for a scan to see if everything was ok with my baby. As the day before on the 19th Oct i had just turned 10 weeks Pregnant. On the 21st Oct i got the scan results an they told me that in fact my little baby had died at 9weeks1day. No explanation nothing just that my wee baby stopped growing. I went to that scan my-self as my parnter had just got his head round the fact that we were going to have a bundle of joy that weekend. He said "im sure you'l be fine". I was along way from fine after seeing my little baby on screen with no heart beat an all dull not like the scan i had got at 7 weeks to confirm my pregnancy. Baby looked so bright at that scan, an i seen its little heart so clearly on that same screen. After that i was sent home with the option of letting it happen naturally of an operation. I chose the operation which would have taken place on the 23rd. But at 5am i woke up with a shocking pain. I had miscarriad before i got to the hospital but yet again they took me for another scan an as i knew my baby had in fact gone.
I have been a complete mess since i found out an then the miscarriage,crying an laughing all in the matter of a second. Not eating or sleeping not really wanting to breath anymore. My partner was great to me for a couple of days then we were ment to go for dinner then i said i cant go an he cant angrey an said why not. I just kept crying an telling him that i just couldnt do it. All i want is my baby back in my belly safe an warm. Still inside me where all those wonderfull thoughts of the future were aswell.
But its all gone every slither of hope. And the numb empty feeling i have in my tummy is nothing compared to the pain in my chest god i can hardly breath with our the pain. My poor wee baby. All our poor little Angels. Its the unfairness of it all. The first everything that we will miss, the first hold, look,smell,cry,movement,smile.
Sorry for going on so much if you are still reading this.
Its just so unfair on all of us. Who very much wanted our little angels an then the were taken away before we got to say hello. But for me i never want to say good bye.
xxxxxxx
Ok so here i go.
I started bleeding on the 20th Oct I foned NHS 24 they said i should be fine but made an appointment for me the next day to go in for a scan to see if everything was ok with my baby. As the day before on the 19th Oct i had just turned 10 weeks Pregnant. On the 21st Oct i got the scan results an they told me that in fact my little baby had died at 9weeks1day. No explanation nothing just that my wee baby stopped growing. I went to that scan my-self as my parnter had just got his head round the fact that we were going to have a bundle of joy that weekend. He said "im sure you'l be fine". I was along way from fine after seeing my little baby on screen with no heart beat an all dull not like the scan i had got at 7 weeks to confirm my pregnancy. Baby looked so bright at that scan, an i seen its little heart so clearly on that same screen. After that i was sent home with the option of letting it happen naturally of an operation. I chose the operation which would have taken place on the 23rd. But at 5am i woke up with a shocking pain. I had miscarriad before i got to the hospital but yet again they took me for another scan an as i knew my baby had in fact gone.
I have been a complete mess since i found out an then the miscarriage,crying an laughing all in the matter of a second. Not eating or sleeping not really wanting to breath anymore. My partner was great to me for a couple of days then we were ment to go for dinner then i said i cant go an he cant angrey an said why not. I just kept crying an telling him that i just couldnt do it. All i want is my baby back in my belly safe an warm. Still inside me where all those wonderfull thoughts of the future were aswell.
But its all gone every slither of hope. And the numb empty feeling i have in my tummy is nothing compared to the pain in my chest god i can hardly breath with our the pain. My poor wee baby. All our poor little Angels. Its the unfairness of it all. The first everything that we will miss, the first hold, look,smell,cry,movement,smile.
Sorry for going on so much if you are still reading this.
Its just so unfair on all of us. Who very much wanted our little angels an then the were taken away before we got to say hello. But for me i never want to say good bye.
xxxxxxx
