Its just so hard to get over

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Wishfull, Oct 29, 2008.

  1. Wishfull

    Wishfull Mummy to an Angel

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    Hello everyone an thank you in advance for reading this IF anyone does at all its more just to vent.
    Ok so here i go.
    I started bleeding on the 20th Oct I foned NHS 24 they said i should be fine but made an appointment for me the next day to go in for a scan to see if everything was ok with my baby. As the day before on the 19th Oct i had just turned 10 weeks Pregnant. On the 21st Oct i got the scan results an they told me that in fact my little baby had died at 9weeks1day. No explanation nothing just that my wee baby stopped growing. I went to that scan my-self as my parnter had just got his head round the fact that we were going to have a bundle of joy that weekend. He said "im sure you'l be fine". I was along way from fine after seeing my little baby on screen with no heart beat an all dull not like the scan i had got at 7 weeks to confirm my pregnancy. Baby looked so bright at that scan, an i seen its little heart so clearly on that same screen. After that i was sent home with the option of letting it happen naturally of an operation. I chose the operation which would have taken place on the 23rd. But at 5am i woke up with a shocking pain. I had miscarriad before i got to the hospital but yet again they took me for another scan an as i knew my baby had in fact gone.
    I have been a complete mess since i found out an then the miscarriage,crying an laughing all in the matter of a second. Not eating or sleeping not really wanting to breath anymore. My partner was great to me for a couple of days then we were ment to go for dinner then i said i cant go an he cant angrey an said why not. I just kept crying an telling him that i just couldnt do it. All i want is my baby back in my belly safe an warm. Still inside me where all those wonderfull thoughts of the future were aswell.
    But its all gone every slither of hope. And the numb empty feeling i have in my tummy is nothing compared to the pain in my chest god i can hardly breath with our the pain. My poor wee baby. All our poor little Angels. Its the unfairness of it all. The first everything that we will miss, the first hold, look,smell,cry,movement,smile.
    Sorry for going on so much if you are still reading this.
    Its just so unfair on all of us. Who very much wanted our little angels an then the were taken away before we got to say hello. But for me i never want to say good bye.

    xxxxxxx
     
  2. gezameza

    gezameza Member

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    Wishfull,
    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I, as I'm sure many others here, understand your pain and sorrow.
    You've not only lost your precious baby but all the hopes and dreams and happiness you felt during those first few weeks.

    :hug:

    One thing I did after my two missed m/c was to take some time to write a letter to my baby - saying all the things I never got the chance to say. How much I wanted them...and how much I miss them and much more. It might help.
    Take one day at a time
    :hugs:
     
  3. bubblegum07

    bubblegum07 1 M/C- TTC=2 yrs.

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    Wishfull,
    I know how it feels...it's so insanely painful. I also remember the pain of not hearing the little heartbeat after already hearing it once....it was horrible. It's almost been a year and I'm still not pregnant and still dealing with the dissappointment. You are not alone know that! Bless you.
     
  4. Barneyboo

    Barneyboo Mummy of 2 beauty's

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    I am so sorry for your loss, and want to give you lots of :hug:x x
     
  5. misstrouble

    misstrouble Slowly going Insane!!!

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    I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. After having a natural m/c at 8 weeks after 3 weeks of problems, I know what the empty feeling is like. Nothing ever takes the pain away but time will help to ease it. Take care of yourself :hug:
     
  6. mugzy

    mugzy Mummy to 2 beautiful boys

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  7. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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    So very sorry for your loss. :hugs: :hug:
     
  8. tillymum

    tillymum New mom

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    so sorry for your loss, It is truly a devastating thing to happen. I had a missed m/c at 13 weeks after seeing baby's hearbeat 2 weeks earlier. I now actually take comfort from the fact that I saw my baby when it was still alive and got to say hello. Almost 6 months on and I can say it does get easier to deal with, though never far from my thoughts.

    Give yourself time to grieve, take each day as it comes, and you will have good days and bad days. This forum helped me so much, please know we are all here for you when it feels like no one else understands. :hugs::hugs:
     
  9. Cariad_bach

    Cariad_bach mum to 2 boys and 2 girls

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    Aww hun i have know idea what i can say to you....i can barely see for tears as i type....hell hun i wish these things didn't happen, im so so sorry :hugs:
     
  10. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    :hug: Sorry for your loss.
     
  11. suzan

    suzan Well-Known Member

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    Am sorry for ur loss. I have been there, twice, and I know how hard it is.
    Look at me, I am almost there to be a mommy.. miracles happen.. and God is too generous.. he never forgets about us
    :hugs:
     

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