It's not fair!!

[HailzLM]

Aw ladies! Sorry but this is a rant today. my GOD this week is hard ..

Would have been my due date on Friday 5th and i was meant to be testing on that day, praying really hard to be able to see 2 lines instead of the usual 1 on that test on that day. but alas, AF came a full 4 days early this month on saturday!!! Broke me completely. i had been feeling really really different this cycle, bloating, headaches, bbs swollen since Oday, CP really high + soft the day of and day before AF, i just dont understand.

I SHOULD have been a big bouncing preggy by now, i should have brought everything i needed to, i should have decorated the nursery, i should have read tonnes of books on labour and i should be terrified of the prospect of giving birth.. but im not. im not any of these things. but i SHOULD be. How can life be so cruel as to take something so precious away from you? without even giving them a chance? without giving them the chance to make anything better, to better other people's lives, that's what mine would have been, a better of my life. It's been so hard coping, remembering each month that i should have been '??' weeks pregnant, and each and EVERY single month AF arrives its a constant reminder, a reminder of what ive lost, a reminder of what i dont have.

Gosh im so low this week. struggling to keep my head up.

Sorry for the negativity ladies but knew if there was somewhere i could vent it, this would be the place.

Onto February cycle FX xxx

 

[mrsine]

 

[louise2710]

aw im so sorry hun! Must be awful. Remember though, you will get your BFP and a nice sticky bean when the time is right. try not to get too stressed chick! hugs xxx

 

[monalisa81]

I'm sorry you feel so down. But, try to appreciate the things you have than focusing on what you don't have. When you get your BFP you'll forget about all these frustrations. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself because of something that will happen eventually. I've been TTC for 1 year. I know how hard it is. There's always next month.

 

[HailzLM]

thank you ladies. just having a bad day i guess xx

 

[kaye]

So sorry your having such a tough time right now, sending you lots of hugs.
I know it doesnt feel like it, but im sure you will get your BFP soon, and you will do all the things you havent yet done. It might feel like an eternity but once you get your BFP it will feel totally worth it.

hugs xxx

 

[Kaede351]

I understand completely where you're coming from here. I got a BFP last feb and had a mc a week later. I was more than heart broken. I felt more like I WAS broken. I must have cried for 2 weeks straight. I'd have been due November 14th just gone, and I know how hard it is when you get to that point and think... It would have been me now. I think mine was harder than it should have been because my co worker and I got BFPs 2 weeks apart, so I had to go to work every day and watch her grow when it should have been both of us. It was really really hard.

But trust me, it gets easier You never, ever forget, but it does get easier.

Feel free to PM me if you just need someone to rant to or just a chat

Chin up Hun, it doesn't feel like it now, but it will happen for all of us when the time is right

XxXxX

 

[raelynjo]

:hugs Hope something positive happens to brighten your tough week.

 

[Sarah27]

Sending lots of hugs.. My son was stillborn last year at 36 weeks. We have been ttc ever since and its such a hard no fun journey when you are ttc after a loss. I know. I have had all the ups and downs early af, late af, short cycle, longer cycle, LP problems.. the works and I still nothing! So i sympathise with you hun.. Please be gentle on yourself! Have a big vino and hope you are feeling more positive towards a feb bfp! xxx

 

[HailzLM]

Thank you so so much for all your kind words ladies, it really means SO much that you've taken the time to give me some positivity, guess its easier giving it to others rather than feel it yourself eh! Just want this week over and done with.
Struggling to keep high but you ladies are really helping.
Thank you xxx