IUD or Vasectomy?

[misspriss]

Okay. DH and I are done with new babies.

I have a family history of stroke, and I'm BF'ing, so combination BC products are not recommended. I'm not comfortable with the shot or implant.

I am considering a hormonal IUD (they don't contain estrogens, so not as big of risk of problems with stroke or BF'ing). There is Mirena, and several other new ones on the market now. I do not want paraguard because I do not want heavier periods.

The other option is for DH to get a vasectomy. He is willing, but I worry about him going through such a permanent procedure.

I don't plan to ever be divorced, but Heaven forbid we are in an accident or something or one of the children or me and the children die? Do I want to deny him the possibility of every having options again?

But maybe that is just my anxiety. Maybe I should just carry enough life insurance to get a reversal for him in the off chance something happens....

Any tips? What should I consider?

IUD pros:
- 99% effective
- Nothing to worry about for years
- Maybe lighter or no periods
Cons:
- May cause issues (some people have mental health issues with hormones)
- May cause lower libido
- May cause problems with supply

Vasectomy pros:
- 99% (I think? Maybe 100%?) effective after 3 months
- No hormone issues for me, nothing changes
- Easy procedure
Cons:
- permanent (low possibility of reversal)
- More complicated procedure than IUD insertion, longer recovery time
- I keep having dang periods....

Any advice?

 

[krissie328]

No real advise. I'm in a similar situation. DH actually went in for a vasectomy but it couldn't be completed due to too much connective tissue. So now we are faced with him going under general anesthesia for what should have been an in office procedure.

I've been leaning towards an iud but I just kinda wanted that permanent measure so it wasn't an issue in the future.

I could also get a tubal ligation but the thought of it is giving me extreme apprehension. I'm pretty sure we're done having babies but I'm not sure I'm ready for me to make that permanent measure myself.

 

[misspriss]

In most cases a tubal is a more extensive procedure with more risks and more side effects. In your case it sounds like just as extensive procedure for him!

 

[krissie328]

In most cases a tubal is a more extensive procedure with more risks and more side effects. In your case it sounds like just as extensive procedure for him!

Yep, that is kinda where we are like is it worth it for either of us now? His cost quote from the doctor was actually more than a tubal since I've reached my deductible due to having a baby.

But an iud is free and seems to be just as effective. So I'm really leaning that way for now.

 

[misspriss]

I keep finding posts where people got pregnant on their IUD, makes me worry.

 

[krissie328]

It really seems to be disproportionate considering its over 99% effective, yet so many report pregnancy. I've wondered how that can happen.

 

[misspriss]

It really seems to be disproportionate considering its over 99% effective, yet so many report pregnancy. I've wondered how that can happen.

I know! I guess 1% of users is still a good amount of babies.

 

[misspriss]

I'm not sure if it's me or DH, but we are very fertile. We had two babies conceived our first month of TTC and two surprise pregnancies (one early MC), one of which we only had sex ONE TIME the while cycle (baby #3!).

I swear I'd be the 1%.

 

[krissie328]

If it makes you feel any better my bestie is like that. I swear her DH looked at her and she was pregnant. But her iud worked for over a year, first cycle it was out she was pregnant.

We have very low fertility. I'm not even sure we'd really need anything but to prevent when I got fertile cm, but for my peace of mind I need something.

 

[Sinclair]

No advice not completely but after this baby I'm getting a tubal, we're young ( 28 & 27 ) but we never wanted more than two kids. Doctor has informed me that it might fail because of age. I'm more than happy to take the risk and he's more than willing to get a vasectomy.

IUD's scare me because I can't actually see them.

 

[misspriss]

Yeah I have been looking up tubals too, since IUD and Vasectomy can fail, maybe we should both get them....

It just sounds like something I may want to wait until the kids are older for, the recovery sounds rough. And DH spends all day in an office, much easier to recover than for me.

 

[jessmke]

I had a copper IUD for 8 years and it never caused my periods to be heavier or more painful. We are also super fertile, we've gotten pregnant 4 times all on the first try (first two were miscarriages) and we never had a scare while I had the IUD in. If you want to avoid hormones you could always try a copper one and just get it taken out and replaced with the mirena if it does make your periods heavier. After DS was born my OH got a vasectomy, he recently got his sperm tested and it came back as 'infertile'. My understanding is that the majority of men who have a vasectomy but then go on to father another child are those who didn't use protection during he three month period after the operation when there are potentially still live sperm in the tubes, or who didn't bother going back to get their stern tested to make sure the operation was successful. My OH is 43 years old, so even if something did happen to end our marriage, he wouldn't want to have any more kids anyways.

 

[misspriss]

I had a copper IUD for 8 years and it never caused my periods to be heavier or more painful. We are also super fertile, we've gotten pregnant 4 times all on the first try (first two were miscarriages) and we never had a scare while I had the IUD in. If you want to avoid hormones you could always try a copper one and just get it taken out and replaced with the mirena if it does make your periods heavier. After DS was born my OH got a vasectomy, he recently got his sperm tested and it came back as 'infertile'. My understanding is that the majority of men who have a vasectomy but then go on to father another child are those who didn't use protection during he three month period after the operation when there are potentially still live sperm in the tubes, or who didn't bother going back to get their stern tested to make sure the operation was successful. My OH is 43 years old, so even if something did happen to end our marriage, he wouldn't want to have any more kids anyways.

I suppose, and it lasts a lot longer too. That said, I'm not having *any* periods now, the idea of introducing potentially heavy bleeding...

I naturally have very light periods, like "lite" tampons would do my whole cycle, could only even use "regular" for the first two days or they were too absorbent. Use the smallest menstrual cup on the market and only have to change it every 12 hours. Really don't want to screw with that...kind of selfish and all

I made an appointment next week to discuss my options with my doctor.

 

[LoraLoo]

Can you get the mini pill? It is the same hormone as the implant/coil but obviously less invasive.
I was just thinking you could try it for a short while to see how the hormones affect you first. Might make it easier for you to reach a decision on the coil or vasectomy.
For me the implant DID reduce my supply, it DID lower my libido and cause me terrible mood swings, and to my dismay caused spotting pretty much constantly, so the coil would do the same with me. Everyone is different though. I think the mini pill might be a good way to test the waters? Least that way if yiu have undesirable side effects you can just stop taking it.

 

[Pearls18]

We are doing IUD until ready to say done for good and will do vasectomy, DH would do it now but as much as I’m done I’m not ready for that finality. I can’t do hormonal bc.

I’ve had an IUD for about 6 years total now, like you I fall pregnant incredibly easily, I fell pregnant a couple days after having it removed for our second. It doesn’t concern me. It has 2 methods- increase mucous to restrict sperm’s movement, thus works most of the time, the back up is the fact an embryo shouldn’t be able to implant (obviously not 100%) some people aren’t comfortable with the IUD for this reason.

 

[misspriss]

We discussed it at length last night, and set up DH a consultation for the Vasectomy for Wednesday. I have qualms about the finality of it, but on the other hand, I don't feel I can handle more children. I want to focus on raising our kids instead of making new ones.

I know my little sister was unplanned, my mom (God rest her soul) is not around to ask and I'm NOT talking to my dad about what they used for contraception...(OMG I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST THOUGHT). I know my dad got the snip snip after my little sister was born, apparently they didn't trust what they were using anymore. I'm pretty sure she used spermicide, not sure if they used it with anything else.

I worry about the mental effects of hormonal. I have anxiety, a history of antepartum depression, etc - depression and mood changes are a side effect of even progesterone only BC. I'm already struggling with libido post baby/breastfeeding, I had a horrible side effect from the Zoloft they gave me for the depression (no sex drive, inability to orgasm) so I don't want anything to screw with my sexuality, after having lost it for a bit it is more important to me not to screw with it, you know?

I did consider doing my tubes, but it is more extensive than the Vasectomy and has greater changes of unpleasant outcomes.

Funny, but wildly inapprorpiate thought:

Spoiler

After my mom passed, took dad a few years to start dating. One week he borrowed my little sister's car (she was still living at home) and left his grocery list in the back. On it was condoms. I didn't really think about it, but since he's had the V I guess it was for safe sex, not to prevent pregnancy. I mean I'm glad my dad was being safe, but....hehe weird to think about your dad like that. Also, I guess not for contraception as now thinking most of his dates have been post-menopausal....

 

[misspriss]

DH is on board for the V, but he's worried about the pain and has anxiety about the procedure. I told him I'm sure they will Rx him something to help calm him, the dentist does for me

My doctor doesn't do the Paraguard, only Mirena and Kyleena. I did have an appointment for tomorrow but DS had the diarrhea and vomiting bug yesterday, and then we thought he was over it, but then he threw up again today and still has diarrhea, so we are not going out tomorrow.

 

[misspriss]

If I were to decide to get the Kyleena (the mirena is higher hormone), I'd try the mini pill first, to see how the hormones effected my milk supply and libido and what not. But I'd rather not.

DH was like "I just hate the idea of anyone messing around down there!" I was like, you understand what an IUD is, where they put it, how they put it, and that I have to keep it inside me, right?

 

[krissie328]

Men!

My DH is gonna schedule a vasectomy for summer time. He has to go under general for it so he has to wait until he gets some more vacation. In the mean time I think I'm gonna get an iud.

Even though I like the idea of having another baby I just feel like logistically and emotionally we can't really take on another one. And I'm fairly certain DH is against another one but would do it for me and that just doesn't sit right with me.

 

[misspriss]

Men!

My DH is gonna schedule a vasectomy for summer time. He has to go under general for it so he has to wait until he gets some more vacation. In the mean time I think I'm gonna get an iud.

Even though I like the idea of having another baby I just feel like logistically and emotionally we can't really take on another one. And I'm fairly certain DH is against another one but would do it for me and that just doesn't sit right with me.

My DH said he'd *rather* go under GA than just do it while he's awake, that is what he's worried most about.

I told him they'd give him some good sedatives and he wouldn't remember a thing.