IUI vs ICSI/IVF

[Tristansmom]

Hi everybody,

I'm on CD2 after my second natural-cycle IUI. Just got off the phone with my clinic, and will be further discussing with my dr next week, but wanted to know if any of you have input on the options I've been offered -

We have 4 straws of frozen sperm remaining (and there isn't any more to be had - my wife is transgender and has completed gender confirmation surgery). So, our options here are to:

1) Try a medicated IUI cycle in the hopes that by producing more eggs, one is sticky. This option is covered by my insurance.
2) Go ahead with ICSI/IVF - to the tune of $9500 out of pocket.

Now, it's REALLY unlikely that my wife will agree to the IVF, because our current financial situation is precarious (wife started a new job last week to be closer to home). However, I intend to lean on her pretty hard in that direction, because this clinic boasts a pretty high success rate.

Anyhow, if anybody here has experienced positive outcomes from ONE cycle of either of these treatments, please feel free to share your experiences!! Thanks!

 

[messica]

If you've successfully conceived and carried a previous pregnancy before, it might be worth trying one more IUI. My doctor and her team said three is enough reasonable attempts, and refuses to do more than that. After that all patients are sent off to a reproductive endocrinologist for further testing and to discuss IVF options (which ultimately worked for us).

I think you two have to sit down and discuss how many children you feel will complete your family, and how you'll feel if things don't work out either route you go. If you are both of the mindset that what's meant to be will happen regardless then stick with the IUI. If however either one of you or both are adamant that you definitely want more children then I'd either scrounge to afford the IVF now, wait until you're financially better off (waiting would definitely be your best bet if there is disagreement) or even discuss the possibility of squirreling that money away if it doesn't happen and adoption is on the table. IVF is by far one of if not the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. It's emotionally and financially draining, beyond time consuming, hard on the children you do have and is extremely taxing to even the strongest relationships. Without question there will be unanticipated expenses. Delays are common. Disappointment and heartache is common. Physical and mental anguish is a given. You have to ask yourself if you're in a place to take it all on, and in the end if you gently encouraged or even pushed your partner, will there be resentment if you spend the money and get nothing out of it in the end.

Yes ICSI/IVF will more than up your odds, but there's much to lose going that route too.

I wish you well whatever you decide, it's such a tough decision to make. Having limited swimmers to work with makes it that much harder.

 

[Tristansmom]

I think it's the "how many kids" thing that's the sticking point for me. I really, REALLY feel like I'm just not done yet. My wife is more on the "what happens, happens" side of things - I think because she has two teenage kids from her first marriage (we don't see them much but still). When I was younger, I always wanted at least 6 kids - that's clearly never gonna happen, but if we could just have 1 more I think I would be at peace with it.