I've just had a missed mc with #1, anyone been successful 2nd time round? Advice pls?

[NT123]

I guess the clue is in the title, I just wondered if anyone is in the same boat as me and how they got their head around this. Having had a pg not succeed and not knowing I can succeed is freaking me out, I don't know whether to try or whether to leave it a while and I'd like ur advice as to positivity that this time it will work. Also what extra reassurances did people get in the UK?

 

[Bandy]

Hello!

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc in December and am 5 weeks pregnant today. I'm really worried something is going to go wrong which I think is natural after what we've been through but at the same time I'm just trying to enjoy it as much as i can whilst I can (if that makes sense?) I even bought an outfit for our baby last weekend because i want to cherish every second of being pregnant.

When I spoke to the midwife last week I explained about the mmc and asked if I would be entitled to extra scans/ visits etc but she said as losing a baby in your first pregnancy is so common there's no special treatment second time around which was strangely reassuring in a way as I don't feel totally alone knowing so many other women go through the same thing. My husband and I have booked in for a scan in 3 weeks so if everything is still ok by then we have a scan when I'm 8 weeks. I also live in the UK by the way.

I hope you feel better soon, just wanted you to know you're not alone xxx

ps I would also like to hear of other success stories.

 

[NT123]

I'm so glad somebody replied and that it has happened for you again. How did u feel when u found out u were pregnant again? I really don't know how I'm going to feel about not having reassurances. I lost the baby at 10 weeks with no sign, I can't face those words "no heartbeat" again. I'm so desperate, I just want my baby back.

 

[newbie123]

Hi NT,
I'm going to be following this thread because I'm in the same situation. Thanks for posting this! Your due date was actually a day after mine so we're in the same situation. I've been told to wait two to three months to try again. I also think I may not schedule an appointment until I'm about ten weeks pregnant. This is probably the opposite of what most people would do, but I think for me it'll help me cope.

Hopefully more people will respond because I could use the reassurance.

 

[Kita]

After my MC I felt hopeless. It had taken a good 2 years or more before we even got those two lines only for it to be taken away a week later. Crushed! I began to read stories about people who got pregnant RIGHT after MC with no AF or just one AF in between pregnancies. I had all the PMA in the world for about a week and then my mind took over and it was all doubts and tears again wondering if it was going to take another 2 years before I got another BFP. Once my bleeding had stopped, we wasted no time going at it again. Not technically TTC but we were never ones for condoms anyway so if it happened it happened. I was completely shocked when on the 1 month anniversary of my MC I decided to test and saw two lines again ! And I knew it couldn't have been left over HCG because my new bfp was on a cheapie and I had taken a FRER about a week or two before that and it was completely white.

I wanted to make sure I was seen right away but with insurance issues, I didn't get my first visit and scan till I was about 14 weeks along. In that time, especially around the 6 week mark (where I lost my first baby) I was positive I would MC again because I had similar brown spotting (even though that is normal in healthy pregnancies also). At 14 weeks when I had the scan, I was POSITIVE I would get the same news as my last scan, that there was nothing in there. But to my surprise and absolute joy, there was a tiny person wiggling around and hiccuping for us. It still took a while after that to get used to the idea and bond with this baby. I still feared losing him every single day. But as you can tell in my ticker, I am days away from meeting him now and have went on to have a very easy pregnancy with little morning sickness aside from nausea and food aversions (vomiting maybe twice total), No swelling or bleeding or stretch marks or any of the common discomforts.

I am so sorry for your losses and in no way am I trying to rub my pregnancy in anyones face. Just want to offer some hope because I remember when I was in your shoes and wanted to read about other peoples success stories and wondered if it could happen to me too. Well it CAN happen to you too because by some miracle, it happened for me.

Good luck !

 

[NT123]

Thanks for your story, I think I'm generally quite a strong minded person, and I now more than ever want that baby in my arms ( I feel this massive void of something to hold) but it's because the baby was 9+6 and clearly developed up until then, that I'm freaking out so much. I got no signs it had all ended, not a single thing, how do I wait all over again to be told he/she has left me again? Even a reassurance scan at 6 weeks Could tell me all is going ok, only for it to possibly fall apart at 10 weeks or later all over again. I don't know where this strength comes from to believe I'm not going to bear this again.

 

[honey08]

when u get preg again ur gp will refer u for an early scan if needed, but even having a scan at 6wk can show a normal pregnancy, but then u cud go bk at 12wk to be told uv mmc again, its devastating, i had a mmc in 2008 first pregnancy, 12wk scan baby hadnt grown past 6wk then 9mth ttc my son i got an 8wk scan then 12wk scan,everything was fine, after him i mc at 5wk, then my baby now took 13 more mth ttc, i guess u never feel safe after a loss i was so worried all the time x
every pregnancys different tho ,think positive, x

 

[na123]

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. I miscarried in January at 6.5 weeks and ever since I found out I was pregnant I just knew there was something wrong! Was constantly worried about losing my baby. After I found out I was losing my baby I thought there was something wrong with me. I conceived very fast and I am now 7 weeks into my second pregnancy and this time around I have this Gut feeling that everything is going to be ok! I thought I would be constantly worried again but it seems I have a totally different frame of mind. My advice would be to try again and not give up hope as 1 in 5 pregnancy's end in miscarry. and don't stress your self out I think one of the reasons I miscarried was due to stressing out about every little thing. I wish you all the best for the future! x

 

[teaandchoc]

Hi, just wanted to say how sorry I am, i'm sure you'll see from this forum how many have shared your sadness and gone on to have a positive experience. I know of two other mums amoung my friends who had a missed miscarrriage with their first babe and went on to have normal healthy pregnancies and lovely babes. My midwife said you have just as good a chance after a single missed miscarriage of having a healthy next pregnancy as anyone else. It is just such a personal blow though, it feels like you've had the worst luck in the world and I know its scary considering going through pregnancy again. I recently had a missed miscarriage and found out at my 13 week scan, we were devastated and i wasn't sure i could go through it again but am now expecting again, and trying to take each day as it comes. Sending a hug and wishing you happier times.

 

[LilOopsy]

Hey really sorry about your loss Hun. I had a MMC at 7 weeks which wasn't discovered till my 12 week scan. I had lost it before I even found out I had it v.v...

Now I'm in week 15 after a year and a half of TTC.... I'm super anxious all the time. I've had such a symptomless pregnancy and all people can say is count yourself lucky.... But when they haven't understood MMCs this can be frustrating. I've seen my bean now at 9, 10+3, 11+4 and 13+4 weeks... Each time it defies my feelings inside by kicking and being a wriggler.

HOWEVER... The doctors made things awful for me after assuming I had miscarried at 10 weeks.... Went for scan all was fine presumed I didn't have to tell them... Guess I did... I didn't get booked into anything! Anyhows last two scans were private and very reassuring... Recommended for people in similar situations with anxiety.

Sorry for rambling... After all that I'll get to the point... Don't give up hope... It seems these little miracles do happen when the time is right x

 

[sowanted]

I'm in the UK and have similar questions (having miscarried this past weekend at 9+4). Scan on 9+6 showed only thickish lining and a clot/tissue near cervix (no sac) so unsure how far along I got.

I asked my nurse about trying next time, timing of it all, what we've learned, etc.

She advised ovulation monitoring to figure out timing as we get started (things will be 'off' a bit and so may be a bit tricky to monitor...was, for instance, the bleeding last weekend actually a period, after fetus stopped developing in, say, week 5 or 6)?

I asked about the possibility of early scans next time and/or hcg monitoring. She told me only after TWO miscarriages does the NHS care routine change. At that point, she said I'd be classified (at age 40) as a 'recurrent miscarriage' patient.

When I become pregnant again (and I do think it will happen...this was our first 'calculated' attempt and presto!, result!), we'll most definitely be paying privately to get an early scan and any other diagnostics that are available to us. We will do this not so much because we don't have faith it might just work out, but rather in case something DOES go wrong, we'll then have some information to go on because this time we have next to nothing and that's been tough...feel I'm starting afresh with very little learned, and if we are indeed joining the queue on the long and winding road to parenthood, information is what's needed, it would seem. And time is working against us.

Sorry to meet this way It's not easy...

 

[marylion]

hi,

When I hit the 11 week mark with my last pregnancy, I thought whew! I am out of the woods. But the baby had actually quit developing at 6 weeks. What a heartbreaker! We tried for several years for that baby, so I had no hope of another "miracle".

Well today I started spotting (5 days before AF is due) and immediately knew something weird was going on. And, yes, I got a BFP!!!

BUT I'm terrified!!!!!!!! I know the spotting is probably implantation, but still, I know how you feel because I'm on serious high alert!

Hang in there! Hugs!

 

[BettyBump]

I had a missed mc last year too. We found out we had lost the baby in June and we didn't even think about trying again until about October. It took 2 months to conceive and I am now 20 weeks pregnant and everything is fine. I had slight bleeding very early on and was convinced I was losing the baby, but it turned out to be implantation bleeding. I still feel very nervous even though we have had the 20 week scan. My only advice would be don't think about being pregnant for as long as you can when you have conceived. Keep yourself busy constantly so that you can't dwell and stress yourself out, and then when you do inevitably stress out don't blame yourself for very natural emotions. In terms of trying, my top tip is putting a cushion under your bum during!