IVF or Adoption

[puppymom32]

Anyone paying for IVF out of pocket afraid it will not work? I am terrifed that it will not work and I will be out all that money with no baby in the end. Have been looking into adoption would love to carry a baby to full term but so afraid will take multiple tries and then still may not work. I have no choice but to do IVF seeing both of my tubes were removed due to ectopics so these really are my only options.

 

[Whitbit22]

Sorry I can't really offer any advice. I guess you would have to weigh the options, I'd do it this way:

1. IVF may or may not be a long, painful road. In the end you could end up with a baby of your own (do you have any other problems besides blocked tubes or MFI? If not I wouldnt worry that it wouldnt work) A lot of clinics I have googled offer a 100% money back if you don't get your baby.

2. Adoption costs a lot more than IVF. Also, you have to come to terms with not being able to have your own, and probably do some counseling. You wouldnt want to carry the regret of not having your own while raising a baby thats not yours.

Whatever you decide, I hope you take your time. I really hope that you get your baby soon honey.

 

[puppymom32]

No other issues except mild endo which the dr didnt seem concerned about no MF at all. When they saw two of the three ectopic babies they said they were viable pg just in the wrong spot so I would be a good canidate for IVF but still really scared about it. I have been researching Micro IVF because it is cheaper the a full blown IVF. Maybe could try that a few times and then look into adopotion after that.

 

[BizyBee]

GL in whatever you decide hun. I would probably try IVF before adoption, but that's me. You've had viable babies and I pray that IVF is successful for you once they are placed in the correct spot. The mini IVF sounds like a good idea.

 

[DragonMummy]

I think if you don't at least try, you may regret it. They say it's better to regret the things you have done than the things you haven't. But that's just my opinion. x

 

[rachelle1975]

We are going for ivf & then if necessary adoption. I always think it's better to regret the things you've done than those you haven't!xx

 

[Blue12]

I agree with everyone here. I also know from my brother and a few others' experiences that adoption is quite a lengthy process as well.

You seem to have such good odds hun - I think it is worth a try.

I understand what you are saying though - I am paying out of pocket for ivf and I have never even had a hint of a bfp - can my body really do it???

 

[tinybutterfly]

although the OH doesn't want to talk about it untill he hears what the doc has to say tomorrow,
i've been thinking about it as well.

adoption procedure takes long to begin with, so i think i'll start up the procedure
and in the mean time try a few IVF's... but i've read so many horror stories online about
how much it all hurts etc that i really really don't look forward to IVF.
so if the IVF then doesn't work out, at least i will not have to wait another 2 years before
the adoption can happen, but more like... a year or so maybe.

and yes, adoption...damn, pricy... i don't know how much the state pays back,
must look into that


hmm, i also told my mom if all else fails, she will have to carry my babies for me,
i don't think she realises that i really mean that

 

[rachelle1975]

tinybutterfly - definitely read up on the IVF threads on the LTTTC board - i have never known anyone to say it was really painful at all. The worst i have heard is some mild discomfort after egg collection but that it's nothing more than period cramps and you can quieten it with pain killers

 

[puppymom32]

With adoption in the US u get a tax credit up to a certain amount of cost for adoption. So although the process is costly you can recoop some of that cost. I really do want to carry my own child so I think I will try a few rounds of IVF first and then if no luck adoption. Thanks all for your input.

 

[CathD]

Hi,

I would try IVF first. I don't know how it works in the US but in the UK they want to know that you are not going to try for your own baby whilst going through the adoption process (there has to have been at least 6 months since your last IVF/attempt). They think it would be bad for the adopted child to be followed extremely closely by a natural child (especially if they are a bit older and may have been through some unsettling experiences already). So it makes sense to try all natural options first i think.

Cath

 

[wish2bmama]

Hey puppymom, you would have really good chances at a success. My clinic told me that a woman with previous pregnancies (ectopics and mc) and perfect eggs and no MF has a 75% success chance now adays. They gave me a 65% -50% because they didn't know if my eggs were good. But look at me now!

As for the tax break, you do get one for IVF too. You should look into that. If it costs a certain amount to your income, you get money back.

 

[puppymom32]

Thanks huni I forgot about the medical write off if they exceed a certain amount which I am sure IVF would exceed. You definetly are proof that it works.

 

[tinybutterfly]

tinybutterfly - definitely read up on the IVF threads on the LTTTC board - i have never known anyone to say it was really painful at all. The worst i have heard is some mild discomfort after egg collection but that it's nothing more than period cramps and you can quieten it with pain killers

thanks, will do that!

i think i just caught a few bad blogs
this woman was saying how they put her under alot of anaesthesia to do the pick-up,
and that it hurt sooooooo much and long

so obviously i was like "omg omg... why are none of the others complaining... are they hiding it???"

thanks again

 

[~LJ~]

With adoption in the US u get a tax credit up to a certain amount of cost for adoption. So although the process is costly you can recoop some of that cost. I really do want to carry my own child so I think I will try a few rounds of IVF first and then if no luck adoption. Thanks all for your input.

Hey!

I think Adoption is an amazing thing, and i praise anyone who goes down that route.... i think its quite possibly a route i will be considering soon.

I have had 2 failed IVF attempts already and am only 27 (26 when i started) Luckily with being in the UK and the area i live in i can get 3 nhf fresh funded cycles... however I worry that the next few years of IVF is going to take up my life and that i will never be able to carry a child of my own.

However I would rather do this and try knowing i gave it my all than adopt a child not loving it fully because i would always be wondering if i had not given up IVF would i have had a child of my own?

Only when i have given IVF everything then i would consider adoption - but even then am not sure am the right person for adoption. I feel greedy and selfish for even writing this wanting a child of my own when there is lovely children out there for adoption - but i just feel that its every womans write to conceive a child of their own and carry that child - thats why we were given reproductive organs after all!

 

[puppymom32]

With adoption in the US u get a tax credit up to a certain amount of cost for adoption. So although the process is costly you can recoop some of that cost. I really do want to carry my own child so I think I will try a few rounds of IVF first and then if no luck adoption. Thanks all for your input.

Hey!

I think Adoption is an amazing thing, and i praise anyone who goes down that route.... i think its quite possibly a route i will be considering soon.

I have had 2 failed IVF attempts already and am only 27 (26 when i started) Luckily with being in the UK and the area i live in i can get 3 nhf fresh funded cycles... however I worry that the next few years of IVF is going to take up my life and that i will never be able to carry a child of my own.

However I would rather do this and try knowing i gave it my all than adopt a child not loving it fully because i would always be wondering if i had not given up IVF would i have had a child of my own?

Only when i have given IVF everything then i would consider adoption - but even then am not sure am the right person for adoption. I feel greedy and selfish for even writing this wanting a child of my own when there is lovely children out there for adoption - but i just feel that its every womans write to conceive a child of their own and carry that child - thats why we were given reproductive organs after all!

Thanks hun I think u r right. I hope your IVF works soon and you get your wonderful little baby.

 

[Aphrodite]

tinybutterfly - definitely read up on the IVF threads on the LTTTC board - i have never known anyone to say it was really painful at all. The worst i have heard is some mild discomfort after egg collection but that it's nothing more than period cramps and you can quieten it with pain killers

thanks, will do that!

i think i just caught a few bad blogs
this woman was saying how they put her under alot of anaesthesia to do the pick-up,
and that it hurt sooooooo much and long

so obviously i was like "omg omg... why are none of the others complaining... are they hiding it???"

thanks again

I used tot hink this too tinybutterfly. When we signed all the papers I was so scared and thought, How can I go through all this? But I did, and u know what? Ive definitely been through worse things!! Yes there was some pain and discomfort but nothing that I would rate as the worst experience of my life. I had one day of very severe pain but honestly, my bout of food poisining 6 years ago was worse than the whole IVF experience put together! Once you have been through it too it is a real high because you can say, hey, look what I did, I coped, I rock!

puppymom we decided to try IVF as long as we physically could. We did not feel that comfortable with the adoption route so would try everything possible for our own natural child. Its differebt for everyone tho. We just couldnt spend our lives saying 'what if' if we never tried to have our own. Plus some adoption experiences within my family have put me off it a bit. But thats just me. Good luck with your journey x x x

 

[puppymom32]

tinybutterfly - definitely read up on the IVF threads on the LTTTC board - i have never known anyone to say it was really painful at all. The worst i have heard is some mild discomfort after egg collection but that it's nothing more than period cramps and you can quieten it with pain killers

thanks, will do that!

i think i just caught a few bad blogs
this woman was saying how they put her under alot of anaesthesia to do the pick-up,
and that it hurt sooooooo much and long

so obviously i was like "omg omg... why are none of the others complaining... are they hiding it???"

thanks again

I used tot hink this too tinybutterfly. When we signed all the papers I was so scared and thought, How can I go through all this? But I did, and u know what? Ive definitely been through worse things!! Yes there was some pain and discomfort but nothing that I would rate as the worst experience of my life. I had one day of very severe pain but honestly, my bout of food poisining 6 years ago was worse than the whole IVF experience put together! Once you have been through it too it is a real high because you can say, hey, look what I did, I coped, I rock!

puppymom we decided to try IVF as long as we physically could. We did not feel that comfortable with the adoption route so would try everything possible for our own natural child. Its differebt for everyone tho. We just couldnt spend our lives saying 'what if' if we never tried to have our own. Plus some adoption experiences within my family have put me off it a bit. But thats just me. Good luck with your journey x x x

Thanks hun Congrats on the Pregnancy did u get pg on IVF? If so how many tries did it take.

 

[puppymom32]

I'm really thinking about trying the IVM. The process is really neat and not very scary. Basically instead of giving u all kinds of drugs to overstimulate your ovaries they give u a small amount like clomid or something and then remove the eggs before they are mature and grow them in the lab instead of your body. Everything else including ICSI is the same as IVF. Like I said before the cost is like half of IVF and because you dont need as much monitoring as being on the stimulant drugs you dont have to make as many trips which is nice if I am traveling out of state. IVM is also getting the same success rates as IVF and way better than Mini IVF and Natural IVF. I wish I could find some where closer but u gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[fluffosaur]

Most couples who begin the adoption process have already exhausted all of their goes at IVF. Hardly any come to adoption without trying IVF & natural conception first.

Personally I couldn't put my body through IVF & I work in adoption so it'd be an easy decision for me to make.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do !