Just a little worried about how much i've been stressing lately...

[trashit]

I've heard lots about stress leading to MC, and even though i am in second trimester now the worrying NEVER stops!! I've been stressing out so badly lately, over the house me and my OH were supposed to be moving into (which keeps being held off, stupid landlords!) And my family are getting TOO involved with it and keep shouting at me as though its my fault the landlord wont step up his game and get the house ready for humans to move into! My boyfriends stressing me out too, he's really getting under my feet and ALL his friends are dead set against us being together, which is not helping, i really dont need their shit to add to things=( I keep getting really angry, then crying, then getting angry again... My tummy keeps twinging everytime i get mad!! Anyone else been dealing with stressful sits? Any tips on how to calm..
Thanks ladies!!

 

[TattiesMum]

Have some

Sometimes pregnancy takes us this way ... if we can't find anything to worry about then we will worry about worrying too much! If we are in a stressful situation to start with then it's even worse

First off I'm not convinced that stress causes a danger of MC - think of all the stress that women in history went through, just in getting enough food to eat and surviving from day to day... yet babies were still born all the time The twinges are just your body reacting normally to having to make room for a growing baby and you being tense and 'listening' too hard for things to worry about (all perfectly normal I promise).

Can you talk to your midwife about everything that's going on? She will be able to re-assure you that everything is OK with the baby and might even be able to talk to your mum and help sort things out with your housing - which I'm sure will help.

Try to get out of the house by yourself or with your own friends for a bit - just spend time relaxing and having a laugh .... even if it's just sitting in the park watching the squirrells bury nuts for the winter. When it all gets too much then breathe deeply and slowly and remind yourself that this WILL pass and that things will sort themselves out.

Most importantly of all .....Remember that we can't control how other people behave BUT we can control how we let them affect us, and the best way to start is to try to understand WHY they are behaving like they are.... your family might be worried about you, and the stress of that is making them over-react to stuff.........try staying calm when they start and asking them for help in sorting out the landlord because he simply isn't doing it when you ask - believe me, parents are suckers when their grown children admit that they can't do everything themselves and ask for help (it takes us straight back to protective mode lol). As for your OH's friends - they're just scared that they are going to lose him as a mate .... take no notice - they will grow up eventually (well, they're blokes so probably not an awful lot lol, but you know what I mean)

More

 

[HotChocolate]

Actually, i know exactly what you mean. Last night i was in a complete STATE. I was crying like i've never cried before! Was going absolutely hysterical and i couldn't even breathe properly so i had to use a bag!
I was stressing myself out and getting really angry afterwards and dealing with everybody else is ten times worse. Sometimes i wish i could just walk away from everybody and have some time to myself.
I can't really remember what i did to calm myself down yesterday but i do think you should go and sit in a park on your own or something. Just get away from it all for a while and have time to think clearly, there's nothing worse than having loads of people around you to bombard you with all of this stress.
I hope things get better for you soon hun xxx

 

[jenny_wren]

i used to lock myself in the bathroom
and take a LONG bath have a cry if
i needed too and generally just have some
time to myself i had like 4 baths a day

dont worry about the stress everyone gets
stressed even those who aren't pregnant
just take a step back and relax pregnancy
hormones are a bitch i know!

​

 

[Love Bunny]

Hey hun, I can't entirely relate to everything you've written, but I can some it, and I assure you things will get better =) ! When me and my OH found out I was pregnant his instant reaction was abortion. Not because thats what he genuinely wanted - but because he was scared and worried and fright makes people say/do silly things! It was never an option for me to do that and I never did so now we have a beautiful little girl on the way!
Until about 2 months later I was a complete wreck that he didn't want her even after constant reassurance that he did and that he was going to stand by me whatever! on top of that I was living in a complete SHITHOLE. I was in a shared house with friends (yes disgusting friends!!! my room was the only clean place in the house!) and when I spoke to my housing advisor they said it'd be better for me stay there until AFTER baby was born so that it'd be quicker for us to get a council house! Now let me tell you, that was NO house to bring up a baby even if it would have only been a month or even inhabit humans! Let alone babies! So that naturally scared the living shit outta me and motivated me to do everything i could to make everything right for our baby.
My OH's parents were fine with my pregnancy but some of the things his grandparents said really upset me like they were "dissappointed" because matt was "throwing his life away"! Luckaly his other grandparents were fine phew! And my parents and family have always been 100% there for me through anything and this didn't change a thing.

It was one day that I just cracked and sent me into mummy mode and then EVERYTHING got sorted within 2 weeks. I stopped worrying and started planning and it was the best thing I ever did! Also me and matt worked as a team which is sooo much better than working alone. I told him what we were going to do and we did it! That week we had 2 house viewings and the second one we saw was "the one" I told him we either do it right now or we can still be living how we are now til christmas after babys born (me in the shit hole him still with his dad!) so we did it! matt upped his hours so we had a bit more money after bills and rent and now we couldn't be happier we were in within a week of viewing!

It was never an option for me to wait around for some shit council house they'd dump on us or just wait til I get benfits and let the council generally fuck us about. Now we have the most beautiful house I could have asked for and just about everything sorted for when baby comes

Trust me the sooner you quit worrying and start planning your way around obsticles the better things will become! You can't overcome hurdles while blinded with tears, so wipe them away and jump!!

If this baby doesn't motivate the both of you to drastically change your situation nothing ever will, so go go go and do what you can =D !

And if I were you I'd give that landlord a call and give him a piece of my mind! Trust me hun you need a good relationship with your landlord otherwise they won't think twice about kicking you out if your short on rent one month and he sounds like he isn't very reliable either If you can find somewhere better I garentee you'll be in there within a week and not have to wait for some idiot to get his act together!

Good luck hunni =) sorry its long!!! all the best ^_^ xxxxxxx

 

[Love Bunny]

Sorry - double post!! x