just a rant...just have to get it out

[beautifuloaks]

My best friend, is due today.....she was telling me all about how she doesn't want to be pregnant anymore and all her plans and I am trying so hard to be the friend that she needs but I so jealous of her!

She has this beautiful belly, she is about to have a baby. My pregnancy was 3.5 months behind hers......I should be almost 7 months pregnant.....but I'm not and she is about to have her baby.

She got pregnant a month after she got married.....I've been married for 5 years, almost

I just feel like I did everything in the right order....got marrried went to school, got a good joob I did all that before considering a child.....and she did everything backwards but yet here she is about to give birth, and here I am CD3.

I'm crying myself to sleep at night whileshe is eating spicey foods and taking walks and excersizing to try an enduse labor.

I know that God has a plan for everything I just don't see how this is going to fit into a plan.

Why did she get to keep her baby and I lost mine....I did everything right. I know if its ment to be its ment to be....I just find myself struggling more and more everyday that she is closer to birth. Its just so hard to watch her when I know that that isn't me.

I'm trying so hard to just be happy for her but the happier I am for her, the sadder I am for myself.


She's due ANY minute

And then when her son is born.....I will be able to hold him....and help her when she needsit.....its going to be so hard........

I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. I just want my baby back.

 

[cloud9]

im sorry for your loss it's so hard when your friends/relatives are all having children and you're not- i know the feeling all too well..most people have conceived their 2nd child now in the time me and my hubby have been ttc. its been a long, long road so far and i know what you mean about doing everything in the correct order...same as us. its so unfair when you see some people who smoke or drink alcohol during pregnancy and those that get pregnant by mistake or take it for granted and complain every day how they wish they werent having the aches and pains that go along with pregnancy theres been alot of this lately!! and it makes my stomach turn! certainly if they knew how hard it was to cope with a loss they wouldn't be complaining so much
i hope your wish comes true soon

 

[Krippy]

 

[tryingto]

i understand how u felt... my frens too, all giving birth like it's sooo easy for them. For me, i got pregnant easily too on the 2nd month of trying but then... got miscarried on 6 weeks, just after the baby has a heartbeat..

God indeed has a plan for all of us, each has a different life.. so don't compare, try ur best not to envy/jealous, at least that's what i'm telling myself... moreover i'm alr coming to 32..