Just a sulk :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by tsukijin, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. tsukijin

    tsukijin mummy of a beautiful boy

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    Sorry to whine so early on in my BnB life but, my fiance's sister is 17, she has been with her current bf for 8 months and she was pregnant by him after 2 months,we get on well with him and he treats her properly.

    When my MIL asked me what I was going to call the little caterpillar in my belly, I told her, and I guess she shared it with the rest of the family in passing conversation. Thought nothing more of it, most of the time we get on great and have done since I met my fiance 6 years ago :thumbup:
    Caterpillar's middle name is a variation of my mums name, as an honor to her as she recently passed away. A few days later on Facebook, his sister posts a status saying that she has decided to call her child not just the first, but the middle and last of the names I had chosen. Last name isn't a problem as I guess it's her surname anyway, but then she put a comment to one of her friends saying that her "brother's stupid girlfriend was trying to steal them from her" :growlmad: and that she "wasn't going to use the middle name after all because it was crap and she wasn't speaking to me until I changed Caterpillar's first name to something else."
    And true to her word she has totally ignored me (and made her bf ignore me) since, it's making an atmosphere for everyone and making my fiance sad :nope:.
    Sister's boyfriend told her that she was being childish and that she should just choose a different name but she has convinced herself to the highest degree that I stole the name from her. It's just a name, but it's the name I want to use! Naturally as her mother, my MIL has taken the sisters side and has told my fiance to make me change the name and now the mum and the sister are always making snide remarks about me saying that I think I can always get my own way just because "she's spoilt and daddy brought her a nice car" and other silly comments about possessions that have absolutely no relevance. They have very little money and are in serious debt, I brought the sister everything she wants and needs for her baby and her nursery to help her out so she won't worry. I think that they thought I was looking down my nose at them and laughing but I was only trying to help as I understood how she felt because we are both soon to be first timers and it now seems like the mum is using this name silliness as an excuse to hate-fuel towards me as an outlet for her own resentment at being unable to provide the things for the sister's baby and after 6 years of a great relationship with them all, I feel like I have been pushed out of the family and nobody wants me. I'm only 22 and very soft :cry: and I feel so depressed as MIL is the closest thing I had to a mum since mine passed away. This isn't healthy for caterpillar at all, it's a long complicated and probably a more than one solution story but how can I fix it? :cry:
     
  2. My_First

    My_First Well-Known Member

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    Ignore her, you know you are in the right and she IS being childish. But also so is the MIL. The SIL is being a spoilt brat and so you hav eo rise above it for you and your babys sake!
     
  3. +tivethoughts

    +tivethoughts Mummy to two little men

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    This happened to a friend of mine. She had a couple of names picked out for her daughter from about 20 odd weeks. She and her OH had narrowed it down to 2 names. She decided to ask one of her "close" friends for her advice and told her the two names they had chosen and asked for her opinion.

    A couple of weeks later - the friend announced on FB that she was 8 weeks preg and that if they were having a girl the name would be....both names my friend had chosen for first and middle names. My friend was fuming, but stood her ground and chose one of the names and stuck with it. Needless to say, the other friend decided not to go with either - so it was all unnecessary!

    I dont have any advice for you i'm afraid, but I hope you get things sorted. xx
     
  4. shell87

    shell87 Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, just read your story its pretty heartbreaking. I can understand that you feel rejected by MIL as you dont have your own mum at the moment, but the only thing I can suggest is that you keep your distance from MIL and SIL so that you dont feel that rejection as much.

    They are bang out of order and extremely childish for acting in that way and your fiance's sister needs to grow up if shes about to become a mother instead of posting nasty comments on facebook!

    The only advice I can give you is keep your distance and you name your baby whatever you want, who cares what she calls her baby, this is YOUR baby and YOUR choice, chin up xx
     
  5. spring_baby

    spring_baby <a href="http://pregnancy

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    I agree very well said this baby is yr and yr fiancees future yr mil will come round when bubs is born and her daughter is behaving very childish and will prob change her name choice over and over again anyay.
    So stick with yr name choice if that what makes you and yr oh happy and live yr life the way you want to, big hug coming yr way xx
     
  6. tsukijin

    tsukijin mummy of a beautiful boy

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    Thanks alot for the advice I appreciate it :)
    Had to go over there yesterday to collect my carpet washer that they had borrowed previously as my fiance spilt spaghetti on the floor :dohh: and they were still behaving the same so I am just going to avoid them totally now. :coffee:
     

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