just about ready to give up :( - UPDATE pg.1

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by babymama, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. babymama

    babymama Mom to Phoenix

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    I always said I would BF but I'm really starting to struggle with it. :cry:

    It was good for a bit and now it's just getting hard again. I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. 3 weeks into it and I'm just about ready to give up. Everytime I have to feed, I just get so blah, not frustrated, not annoyed but just .. uncomfortable. He's now biting down hard on my nipples and it hurts so much. He latches on good but sucks so hard and sqeezes his gums totally flattening my nipple and damn it hurts! I'm starting to feel like it's affecting our bond since I just can't wait for him to come off. Instead of smiling at him and enjoying the moment, I just sit there all tense. And now he seems constantly hungry and not satisfied after a feeding so I'm having to top him off with the other boob. I tried pumping today but only a little bit comes out so I don't know if I can even pump to feed cause it takes so long just to get an oz out. My mom keeps telling me to stick with it and that's my every intention but I don't know how much longer I can take it. I don't want to be selfish and give him formula only because I'm uncomfortable, but every day I just hate it more and more. This is so hard, I want the best for him but is my being all tense and grinding my teeth the best way to feed him? :(

    ****************************************************

    Thank you all so much for your thoughts and encouraging words. To update, saturday night I had it, went out and got Similac Advance to start supplemeting. I fed Phoenix his first bottle that night and he took to it right away. I instantly felt better that he was finally satisfied after a feeding. I gave him another bottle yesterday but I wasn't as excited about it as the night before. Somehow I felt like I was cheating him. I BF'ed him the rest of the day and gave him another bottle for bedtime. I had a great night and actually managed to get some sleep and suddenly woke up with a boost of motivation to continue BF'ing no matter what! Whoever said that there are good days and bad days was right because today my boobies are full and Phoenix seems to be more than satisfied after a feeding.

    I think I was having such a hard time also because of the lack of sleep. So to compromise my happiness and the well being of Phoenix I decided to stick with just one bottle at bedtime so that we could all get a little extra sleep. Otherwise it's BF all the time :)
     
  2. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: Only you know what's best, and if you feel that it is not working out, then it is okay to switch to bottles, whether it be formula or pumped breastmilk :hugs:
     
  3. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    :hug:

    You said that you are having to top him up with the other boob like someone has said that's not right? During growth spurts (BTW the have one about 2 weeks ish) Hebe had both boobs EVERY FEED!!! That's fine!! That's why you've got two!!!! Dont think that's a problem.

    Pumping is something that comes with time - you shouldnt even be attempting it now really honey - it's way too soon. And even when you get to 6 weeks and pump, you'll still only get tiny amounts at first because your pump cant suck like Phoenix can. I used to get 1oz MAX to start off!! Dont ever judge what they are getting by what you can pump - it just doesnt work like that.

    Your nipples need to get used to it and I think it was at least a month before mine totally did. You could try some nipple shields if you are really struggling.

    You are doing soooooo well honey!!! You have got through the very worst bit so if you do decide to stick with it I dont think it will be long until you are back to loving your special time with him. :hugs:

    :hug:
     
  4. marley2580

    marley2580 Well-Known Member

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    Kaya used to bite down like that, so I totally understand how much it can hurt on already sore nipples. It turns out that I was leaving her too long before feeds, I started offering a feed before she was crying for it and she stopped biting! She was just so desperate to get the milk out.
     
  5. 1st_baby

    1st_baby Guest

    Again lisa to the rescue ! she took the words out of my mouth

    Hun my son was the same as yours, I looked like a dieing cat when i was BF'd moaing and grunting ..DH was freaked out but once 6 weeks came around I did it ..trust me pumping makes you go nuts ..

    Only once was I able to get 4 oz and thats as I woke up ..nothing for the rest of the day ..a baby's suckle is not like the pump ..I found i got more by hand lol
     
  6. UKMummy

    UKMummy Well-Known Member

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    May I add that when a baby has a growth spurt your boobs need time to catch up with the demand. Therefore, your baby will feed more frequently and seem unsatisfied, because he is demanding more than your body is used to producing, but your supply needs to catch up and the only way for it to do so is for you to let your baby suckle at the breast for as much as he wants and this will give your body signals to produce more milk. In a couple of days you will produce more milk and he should seem a lot happier and satisfied because his needs are being met. I found my babies have had growth spurts at 2 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks but every baby is different. My baby has just had a growth spurt at 12 weeks and was feeding every two hours day and night for four days. I thought I was going to go mad...however it has settled down and we're both a lot happier this week!!!
     
  7. nataliecn

    nataliecn Mommy to Grady and WTT!

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    Don't give up hun!
    I still have days where I feel like I want to give up!

    It will get easier! :hugs:
     
  8. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    I agree, stick with it awhile longer, they say the first month of so is the hardest... Try and stick it out.

    In the end though there is no shame in giving bottles. I gave up bfing and in one way dont regret it, but in another I do. I know due to our situation it was right, but I still wished I had been as determined as some of the ladies on this BB!
     
  9. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    It is true-the first month is the hardest-so many times I nearly gave up...but I stuck with it, and am still bfing at 11 months, and I am so pleased with that, try your best, and if it just doesn't work out, there is definitely no shame in giving formula!
     
  10. Brockie

    Brockie Well-Known Member

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    as others have said hon the first month is def the hardest then its just great and doesn't hurt at all xx

    i wouldn't pump yet as your milk supply is not yet established, my advice is to try and RELAX which is easier said than done i know, but being tense when u feed makes it harder for you and baby xx i remember those first few weeks it was so painful i was hunched over and crying sometimes! sounds horrendous but all of a sudden u just get it and its great xx

    ultimately its up to you and if you feel bottles are best for you and baby there is no shame in that either xxx all the best :hug:
     
  11. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

    Caitlyn always had both boobs that young.

    It's hard not to give up, but if you really want this, you can do it! You have done so well, and it must be so hard with all of that. It does get better.. Your milk won't be established yet and your poor little mite wants his tummy full. The only way to get your milk established is to get that little one on your boobs as much as possible!

    If you don't want to BF anymore, and it's affecting your bond and how you feel, then you just need to do what's best for you! Your child will think no differently of you if you bottle feed.
     
  12. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    ah hun, maybe get in a lactation expert for one session just to see if he is latched on well, it may be that its hurting because of that reason, nothing wrong with giving from both boobs like the others have said.
     
  13. thelilbump

    thelilbump ♥ mummy to a princess ♥

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    :hug:

    the first few weeks of breastfeeding aren't easy, i found it had patches a few good days a few not so good for about 6 weeks. You just need to keep perservering. Don't forget you're both learning how to feed, it's as new for your baby as it is for you.

    Giving two boobs is fine, we've always done that. They advise you should try at least 10 minutes on one side though before swapping tho so your baby isn't just taking the watery foremilk.

    As for pumping, it's probably too early for you really, your milk has only been in a few days and is regulating itself so don't let that dishearten you. I remember when i first tried i must of sat there about 30 minutes n got about 50mls, now i can do 3 oz in 10 minutes.

    Have you tried feeding in different positions? Lying down in bed? Holding him as a rugby ball. Have you git yourself a good cushion so you're both a bit comfier?

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel hunny, be it from perservering with breastfeeding or changing to formula. It will get better :hugs:
     
  14. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    In regards to pumping... I was told that it is perfectly fine... It can actually help encourage you to produce more milk if your having probs with latching on etc. Obviously letting the baby feed as much as possible is the best way though.
     
  15. heather91

    heather91 Preggers with 2nd

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    I've heard that the first months are the hardest, do if you're really intent on breastfeeding then keep trying. The main reason I'm posting really is to wonder why you think that it would be selfish to start FFing? I'm not trying to spark off a debate or cause offence I was just wondering really. The reason I stopped BFing is because I was tense and stressed and this was stressing Tiffany and by FFing we were both a lot more relaxed which was better. (Not saying for a second you should start FFing if you don't want to, just explaining my experience) xx
     
  16. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    I was thinking the same thing actually..I did pump a little that early on too, and had no problems...then again, my milk came in pretty quickly!
     
  17. nataliecn

    nataliecn Mommy to Grady and WTT!

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    They actually had me pumping in the hospital to help bring my milk in faster..
     
  18. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    I cant speak for the OP obviously but I can tell you why I sometimes felt selfish using formula and I think it's the reason some mum's say they do. I think it's because I felt like I wasnt persevering hard enough - I knew it was going to be hard at times but I felt guilty that I couldnt just suck it up ( pardon the pun ) for my babies. The times I used formula were when I couldn't do carry on - not when the baby couldnt so I think when you're BFing it's only natural that you might feel selfish even though no one on the planet in their right mind would ever think you were.
     
  19. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    Ive never really felt selfish persay for switching to formula. Its hard to explain... I think as long as your baby is happy and fed and growing then you arn't selfish no matter what. Some people think bfing is the be all end all, which can make others feel guilty or selfish if they cant do it... But it isnt the end of the world.
     
  20. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    I think this is the bottom line. :)
     

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