mates just sent me this At first I was afraid, I was petrified... By the ugly w*nker that was lying by my side.I would've drunk a little less, I would've Tried to keep my head, If I'd know for just one second I'd be in Your crusty bed... I tried to go, walk out the door. But I laughed so hard at your small kn*b that I've fallen on the floor. Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace, But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...! I want to go, I've got to leave. Your talk of chicks and football really makes Me want to heave. I only know I've got to stop my drinking Spirts and the beer Coz when I looked at you last night, you Looked just like Richard Gere ! Please let me go, I feel quite sick, We had the worst sex in the world and you're An ugly pr*ck I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, At least he's got a lovely flat But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm Stuck with you, you twat. It's time to go, run out the door. You look so ugly it should really be against the law. I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going To have no stupid fun Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me Want to be a nun ! I WILL SURVIVE!