just didn't do my research!

[flippityflop]

When I was pregnant I read loads of books about pregnancy, what equipment to get, what labour would be like - that sort of thing. Now I actually have my LO I realise there is so much research I haven't done. I honestly don't know what my opinions are on BF/FF (I'm BF as its free and my family has eczema/asthma, and 'everyone' says breast is best), dummies, immunisations, - basically anything that requires a decision!

I'm sleep deprived and exhausted and taking on this brand new lifestyle, how do I decide what's best?! Why didn't I do my research when I had some semblance of intelligence left?

 

[vintage67]

You could have researched yourself silly and in the end we all have to make adjustments and decisions as we go along and even "wing it" sometimes.

Things don't always go as planned, so making hard and fast decisions before birth may not always pan out anyway.

 

[Maman]

thats motherhood for you. go with your instincts.

 

[janey1975]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I read all the magazines and the books about being pregnant and birth but did NO research about the baby! I was so worried about something going wrong in pregnancy and scared of giving birth that I 'forgot' I knew so little about looking after a baby! It is partly about instinct and also you do have to see what your baby is like because every baby is different. If you have mum friends you learn from them, from people in your family and I did buy one book that was a week by week guide that was great (did not require much in depth reading luckily as I was too knackered in the early days for that).

Don't be harsh on yourself. Lots of us have done exactly the same!

 

[emyandpotato]

I feel the same, there always seems to be new things that I hadn't heard of and make me feel like a bad mum. There isn't really a right and wrong way with most things.

 

[hulahoop09]

I looked up certain things but tbh when you actually have the baby in your arms it isnt the same as just reading something. Literally just do what you think is best and if you arent sure there is a lot of support out there for new mums generally and just dont be afraid to ask for help. Have fun. It is so so hard but every minute is worth it!!

xx

 

[Cattia]

I know that making an informed decision is important but I am the sort of person who can be quite neurotic and sometimes I find the more I research, the more worked up I become about all the different options! I was like this when I was pregnant, I researched the swine flu vaccine so obsessively that I ended up emailing some professor at an American university who was an expert in vaccine research! In the end I actually gave birth before I had made a decision about whether to have the vaccine or not so I never got it! I think it's hard to balance doing the research with just trusting your instincts and using your common sense.

 

[Kay_Baby]

I wouldn’t worry too much about not doing your research. I had done my research and declared lots of things when I was pregnant about dummies etc and have stuck to barely any of it. Go with your instinct every baby is different and mummy always knows best.

 

[BabaPu]

I know exactly what you mean. I used to constantly have my nose in a book and thought I was learning so much when really I was learning so little about the things that mattered.

I wanted to breastfeed and didn't even have the foresight to look into what it was going to be like, how often baba would want to feed, how to latch on properly etc. I just thought 'well I wangt to breastfeed so I will and it will all be fine and dandy' and didn't realise that the 'problems' I experienced were just actually natural baby behaviour.

It was actually the shock of my life to come home with this new baby that in reality the books hadn't prepared me for, or, should I say, what I read hadn't prepared me for.

Where was that instruction booklet?

 

[janey1975]

I know that making an informed decision is important but I am the sort of person who can be quite neurotic and sometimes I find the more I research, the more worked up I become about all the different options! I was like this when I was pregnant, I researched the swine flu vaccine so obsessively that I ended up emailing some professor at an American university who was an expert in vaccine research! In the end I actually gave birth before I had made a decision about whether to have the vaccine or not so I never got it! I think it's hard to balance doing the research with just trusting your instincts and using your common sense.

cattia, I am a bit like you too! It can be a pain in the back side when you research so much because you then can't make a decision. I have to stop myself, which is not easy.

I am intrigued, did the Professor get back to you? If he did, what did he say? Very impressed that you did that!

 

[BabyBoo36]

As someone else on here said "You might read the book, but baby doesn't!"

Every "pre baby" decision I made was scuppered by my beautiful daughter!
- I wanted a natural birth - Freya had other ideas and after 3 days of induction, I ended up with a section.
- I wanted to BF - Freya refused to latch and is FF.
- I wanted to traditional wean - Freya, again, had other ideas, refuses to spoon feed so we're BLW!

What I'm trying to say, is you can do all the reading/research in the world - things will happen how they happen! Don't worry - you will instinctively do what's best for your LO. I agree that you can do to much research - Freya was diagnosed with spina bifida at our 20 week scan - if I'd believed half the stuff I'd "researched" regarding this, she wouldn't be here today xxx