Just found out I'm pregnant...how to tell my folks?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by glowbabe, Aug 19, 2009.

  1. glowbabe

    glowbabe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi everyone, I'm new to this board and wanted to introduce myself. I just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant. It was unplanned and very unexpected but both myself and my boyfriend are happy about it.

    I'm nervous however about how my parents will react to the news. They are both extremely religious and believe that sex before marriage is a sin. I am 30 years old but I have always felt under their pressure to be a certain way in order to make them happy and accept me. I am scared that when I tell them the news they'll be so disappointed in me and never want to speak to me again. I wish that they could be happy for me but I know that would never happen as my boyfriend and I aren't married yet. Its my first pregnancy and I'm scared to go through it without the wisdom and love from my mother.

    I don't want to upset them but I have to tell them soon...how do I tell them with ease? (Also - they live in the US, and I live in Canada) so I would have to tell them over the phone...

    Thanks everyone...
     
  2. Seity

    Seity Mom to Gabriel and Samuel

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2009
    Messages:
    17,813
    Likes Received:
    0
    We just called up our parents and told them they were going to be grandparents. Ours were thrilled. My parents are religious too, so while we're married, we aren't married in the church, which by my parents standards is practically not married at all. If your parents are a bit shocked at first, don't worry, they'll come around. Grandkids have a way of doing that. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant when they were only 18 and though I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled with the idea at first, they're over the moon and love being grandparents!
     
  3. aflight84

    aflight84 Mummy to a princess x

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2008
    Messages:
    4,458
    Likes Received:
    0
    oh babes that must be really hard but they are your parents and you shouldn't have to try to make them love and accept you that should come naturally.
    My parents were over the moon when i told them i was pregnant i would just put it to them that they're going to be grandparents rather than you're going to be a mum and it sounds like it's more about them being involved!
     
  4. kristen77

    kristen77 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    3,122
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi there!!

    Congratulations!! We have decided not to tell anyone until we've had our 12 week scan so that might buy you some time to decide how to approach it best?! I think at the end of the day, however you tell them they will be shocked/surprised and it may take them a while to get their heads round it, but i'm sure they will and they will both be delighted!

    Maybe you could write to them with a scan picture included?!!! Or is that the cowards way out?!

    Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy and I'm sure your parents will be thrilled at the idea of being grandparents once they get their heads round it!!

    Kristen xx

    [​IMG]
     
  5. 1st_timer

    1st_timer Pregnant with number 1!

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    941
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was terrified about telling my mum despite the fact that I am in my late 20s and married with a nice stable job! She was shocked at first and it took a few weeks for her to get used to the idea. Now she is super excited (in fact possibly more excited than I am!).

    Their your parents and will love and support you anyway. I don't know much about religion but I thought that this sort of love and support for new life was a fundamental?

    Do you and your boyfriend have any plans to get married? If so, it would be worth telling them that you do plan to get married.

    Make sure you are honest with them and tell them how happy this makes you and your partner and then give them some time to get used to it. Send them a picture from your first scan...they'll melt. Good luck and make sure you do whateve will make YOU happy
     
  6. twiggy56

    twiggy56 Mummy expecting #2

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2009
    Messages:
    7,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    i dont have a religious family but i do know how u feel being scared to tell your parents. Im 20 years old, engaged to my fiancè who is 31 yrs old and found out in june i was pregnant.

    Just wanted to give you advice that i wish someone would have given me when i was dreading telling my parents....dont expect a good reaction. It sounds awful but if you prepare yourself for a bad reaction then i find u handle it waaay better than hoping for an excited one. Just be prepared to answer the blunt and personal questions (my personal favourite 'was it planned?' which is beyond me to ask whether or not someones child is a mistake or not), give yourself time to think of coherent and digestable answers as they will be in shock!

    best of luck, and congratulations! xx
     
  7. flumpy

    flumpy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    0
    snap - we havent told a single person, including our parents even though i know they will be overjoyed when i do tell them lol!!

    after 2 m/c's (which no one knows about either) we are being cautious! it is my booking in appointment with the midwife tomorrow so hopefully she will book me in for a scan sooner or later - i dont know how much longer i can keep it in!!!
     
  8. glowbabe

    glowbabe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you all for your advice! My boyfriend and I are in a loving and committed relationship with plans to one day marry. I agree that I should prepare myself to be able to answer all their questions and not expect a good reaction right away. I also need to prepare myself if they don't come around - I don't want the stress of this situation to get to me and potentially harm my baby, so I'm going to have to learn how to deal with their reaction in a positive way and get through it for the safety and health of my baby.
     
  9. alibaba24

    alibaba24 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im pregnant usually works for me!!

    hehe no obviously its difficult but whats done is done you just gotta deal with it & them as best you can

    xx
     
  10. hivechild

    hivechild Mummy to Ronan

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
    Messages:
    5,801
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think telling your mom how much you are hoping for her support and the love and wisdom she has to give to you during your pregnancy, and how much it will mean to you will go a long way. :)
     
  11. shaunanicole

    shaunanicole Guest

    Don't let the pressure and stress of telling your parents ruin this happy time in your life. You should be celebrating that you have a little one on the way. :hugs:
     
  12. shocker

    shocker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,882
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im terrified aswell, 18 and split up with the father 2 weeks ago. Im going to wait until 12 weeks if i can, im really worried about reactions :-( Your in a stable relationship and your in a secure position I think your family will be delighted.Dont worry about it while they may be surprised they will also be delighted to have a grandchild! and congratulations!
     
  13. wanna_b_mummy

    wanna_b_mummy Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2010
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im 21 and when the conversation of babies has come up before they have always said not yet i hope. I thought they would take the news that i am 5 week pregnant really badly but they completely suprised us! They are so excited and very happy (who couldnt be happy about having a new baby in the family) no matter what age you are or what situation you are in a baby is a fantastic gift and if they love you they will support you 100% even if it is a shock at first
     
  14. Mya209

    Mya209 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2010
    Messages:
    1,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    My parents always said 'not yet I hope' and 'one day'. So I was scared to tell them. I've only told my mum so far but she was thrilled!
     
  15. Lucky777

    Lucky777 Mommy of 1 little boy

    Joined:
    May 19, 2010
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    0
    wait until your 12 week scan to make sure the baby is healthy I've had 2 early miscarriages and decided i will wait until i am 12 weeks before telling anyone. Only my best friend and my fiancé knows.
     

Share This Page