Just needed to talk about worries..trigger warning

[xQuinnx]

Trigger warning: miscarriage

I know there's nothing I can really do about these worries unless I pay £99 for an early scan but I'm so scared of a missed miscarriage....even more then a miscarriage of that makes sense..

My biggest fear is getting to that 12 weeks scan and being told baby died weeks ago and knowing I've been carrying it for weeks or finding out that its a blighted ovum and never really grew in the first place...

I'm not really sure why...I think it's maybe something to do with my last pregnancy I was told it was molar until I was about 9 weeks and then suddenly everything was fine and I've always wondered if maybe there was a problem and we just got lucky last time...

Don't feel like I can talk to my husband about it and just wanted to get it out of my head :-/

 

[schnoogles]

Hmmmm, I don't really have any experiance but didn't want to read and run. Do you know anyone who could lend you a doppler? You could possibly pick up the heart beat from 10 weeks, but not worth doing if it will upset you if you can't find it. Do your research before trying. I guess you could pick one up second hand. Would possibly reassure you before the scan x

 

[LoraLoo]

Ive gone to 2 scans quite far on in the pregnancy and my baby had died, and one earky on, so it's definitely a big fear of mine and i understand your worries.
For me, the private scan was worth every penny for reassurance.
I will say though, mmc are relatively uncommon. You seem to hear more about them on these forums as people are actively seeking out advice,
I hope your pregnancy progresses well, do talk about your concerns with your midwife x

 

[chipsticks]

it's always something that worries me (had one in 2013) a private scan is a great reassurance. I had one yesterday and baby is growing well and looking great (which is after brown spotting and measuring small 3 weeks ago). I say it you can afford it go for it, but I agree with loraloo...it's something we are more aware of because of forums/Google.

 

[xQuinnx]

Thanks ladies how long did you have to wait for scans if you don't mind me asking?

 

[chipsticks]

Thanks ladies how long did you have to wait for scans if you don't mind me asking?

on my son I had one at 9 weeks and This time 10 weeks. the place I go to only do them from 8 weeks on..

 

[LoraLoo]

I had one at 7+4 this time. X

 

[Katt36]

I understand your worry as I worried the same before my first scan last Friday. I could say don't worry but it is hard not to. I think everything is fine and all will be well. Take care and try to relax and keep your mind busy.

 

[swimmyj1]

My doctor was pretty amazing and did scans early (but I've had MMC in the past). It put me at ease for a little while but around 12 weeks I could start using my home doppler and that usually makes me feel better. Even when I can't find the heartbeat right away I'll wait a few days and try again (especially early on).

Congrats! I hope you have a health and happy 9 months!

 

[smileyfaces]

I went for an early scan at 8+4. Shop around, mine only cost £35!

 

[LoraLoo]

I went for an early scan at 8+4. Shop around, mine only cost £35!

Id be there every week!

 

[xQuinnx]

Thanks everyone. Definitely worth shopping around, £35 is a great price!!

 

[Jox]

Totally feel the same Quinn. I'm dreading getting more and more attached and used to the idea of having a baby just to be told it had actually died weeks before.

I had a scan at 6+3 where I saw baby and a hb but I still don't feel reassured.mi had a little bit of pink snotty discharge over the weekend and have gone into panic. Epu can't get me in till Thursday so I'm really struggling at the mo.

I agree with u I'm more scared of a mmc for some reason. It's the not knowing but thinking all is ok if it isn't xx

 

[Nikko88]

MMC are so scary because there are so few ways early on to be reassured the baby is alive and developing normally. With my first, I was obsessed with the various ways loss occurs from miscarriage to SIDS. I read a lot of stories about such losses to reassure myself that should the worst happen we would be devastated but we would go on.

ETA: With #2 I still feel anxiety for loss.

 

[darkriver]

I have been so worried especially with the situation regarding slapped cheek however, I know that I cant change the outcome which doesnt worry me any less.

 

[bumble b]

I'm absolutely terrified that i will go on thursday & they say baby has died, i'm not sleeping great because of it
Having losses before makes it worse for me, i never seem to relax because i'm scared to feel that sadness again. I wish i was rich then i'd buy an ultrasound machine lol xx

 

[KatO79]

I have no experience myself but have read that mmc's only account for about 1-2% of all miscarriages so they're fairly rare I would say (so 1-2 people out of 100 that mc'ed had a mmc). I think people on this forum are more aware of it because you of course do see women that have experienced them which is of course normal considering how many members are on these boards. Which is one of the reasons my RE didn't like me being on this forum, it can make you worry too much about something there's only a minimal chance of happening because on these forums you feel like it's much more common than it is in reality.

I'd try and put it as far back in your mind as possible and enjoy being pregnant! Otherwise you may look back and feel bad that you worried and were upset over something that never happened.

 

[xQuinnx]

That's good to k ow kat079 that's lower then I thought!

The worry is horrible, part of the first trimester I guess :-/