"just relax. you're trying too hard"

[nicholatmn]

I think that that is the only "safe" phrase to use. Most people still believe that we will get pregnant after one time of unprotected sex regardless of the cycle day. They can't grasp the concept that a perfectly healthy woman might have a little trouble ttc. By telling someone to relax, I think that they think that maybe it can comfort the woman by making her feel better.

 

[banana1011]

I think some people need think more before they speak sometimes, just for a second, before they utter whats on their mind. If they looked at fertility and all its issues as a definate medical condition rather than something thats a given like paint WILL dry it might cause people alot less frustration and heartache. If we had a massive brain tumour (god forbid anyone will/does/ever!!!) would they still be saying your trying too hard to get rid of it? Let it be its god's will? When the time is right it will go away?! Im thinking no!!! I like the saying "Walk a mile in someone elses shoes". Although Im not in the same boat as a lot of you lovley ladies, I feel like Im a bit selfish being here already blessed with two, just being greedy going back for a third, I can still empathise with you all and my heart breaks with every bloody bfn I see flashing. You just have to believe the time is right, and it will happen, and God gave you the ability to think and reason so why not use it to your advantage! You need a detailed plan to build a house, I see no difference when it comes to building such an important thing as another human being!

Thank you WannaB for this. It really put it into perspective. Sometimes I think, well...maybe I am trying to hard (when you hear it enough, you may believe it). But your post really helped me to understand that I'm using a plan instead of willy-nilly trying to make a shnookie. Yes, I just said "willy-nilly"

BTW - You are not selfish for wanting a 3rd. I would love 3 children!! I, of course, have to make my first! And then, pray that I can handle 1, then 2...then think about the 3rd.

 

[Deeni]

A friend of mine told me that last week and I wanted to cry. I know she didn't mean anything by it but it is just about the worst thing you can say to someone who has been trying for almost a year. That is why I told almost no one. Now in my office we just had someone get married last week and I will be so upset if she comes in pregnant before me. I'm actually dreading it.