Just want to cry.

[HippyChicki]

Hi I don't want to bring a downer on anyone, but I just needed a place to vent, i have a blog, but its not exactly anywhere you get a reassuring response.

OK, so, in a nutshell, Me and my Hubby have been married for nearly 7 years, TTC for 2, I have been told "It's your weight, It's your weight" "you need to loose weight" "get your BMI down below 36.5 (was about 41) and then we can help you" i have lost 3stone and my BMI is now 35.4, I have an appt with my Gynae in 2 weeks, and will get results of some blood tests they did to see if I am actually OV as I have quite irregular periods with no PCOS or any other medical doodaas they can find. I just feel so low. I made things worse a few weeks ago by counting all the babies that had been born in the 2 years we have been TTC, this is people I actually know, family, work colleagues, friends etc, the magic number?............29!!! 29?!? it's just so F***ING UNFAIR! and the thing that makes me the maddest is that at least 5 of them that I know about were "accidents", my mood is just so low atm, I've just had a cry by thinking about the wonderful time I had yesterday with my nephew (yes even my sister-in-law was a honeymoon baby, how I cried over that, but wouldn't change him for the world) and seeing her with him and being so jealous, they say the green eyed monster makes an appearance, I say he's taken up residence in my life right now.

I'm not sure really what I'm hoping to achieve from this but just need someone to talk to who is going through the same thing

I was a member of another forum like this one, but had to leave as it got too much and too stressful, now I'm feeling like I need some support again.

Anyone with the same kind of story? I would love to hear anything I just feel so crappy.

HippyChicki

 

[camishantel]

oh hun so sorry your having a bad time ... I understand though I am overweight but I do have PCOS[I am on metformin and getting ready to start clomid next cycle.. just had some very very painful test done... I have an amazing dr though that has told me yes my weight is a issue but not as big as most dr's make it out to be being that if your still having a period then your weight may only be effecting ovulation so that is good to hear since I am on meds that help with that now...
But honestly hun I have been trying for 8 years and I have some angels out there... honestly I know it will happen it is just being patient and trying not to stress as that makes it harder to concieve... I know easier said than done..
really hun you will get your and if your dr soesn't seem to be caring for you properly find a new one as we all deserve to be mother's..
I have a niece and her mom doesn't even spend time with her maybe 5 min a day because her friends are more important than her child.. it makes me so because I lost my precious baby and she has one that she is basically letting my grandmother raise because she can't be bothered.. sometimes it makes me question God because my beautiful have a mother here on hearth that wants nothing more than to spend every waking moment with them and hold and kiss and play with them but I can't because they are not here and her's is... errrrrr... anyways I understand and defiently will talk to you if you need

 

[BizyBee]

Sorry you have to deal with this. I too have a million friends/family members having babies. It is so hard to watch everyone else experience such joy (or lack thereof for the incredibily ungrateful parents who complain all the time). Sending massive hugs your way...

 

[MrsRM]

Hey there
I can relate to how you are feeling too...im in the process of having tests just waiting for a lap and dye. Im incredibley fed up and just feel like holding that baby in my arms is a dream so far away right now!! Just feeli like its happening for everyone except us...im a misery to around and the moment and also feel like the permanent green eyed monster!! Hoping this is just a blip and it will pass....but i doubt it. Its so hard sometimes also my DH is in the Forces which is a double nightmare, just want to give up! x

 

[HippyChicki]

Thanks guys, I too am hoping this is just a blip. but it doesn't help that I have been off work for 9 weeks due to breaking my arm by slamming it in the door and last night the plate/tray thingy out of the microwave took a flying leap from 6 foot high and smash on my foot, my little piggies are swollen, bruised and now look like cocktail sausages! We'll get there. Mrs RM I can kind of relate to the forces thing, my brother-in-law has just joined the army and gone off for his basic training this week. his wife is trying to be strong, they already have a 2 yr old, but I'm sure she is ready for the next.
I just want some answers that aren't to do with my weight. I've always been big and never had a problem with my periods before so why has it started now?

GRRRRRRRR

 

[eraeferguson]

Don't be too hard on yourself about venting! We all need it from time to time! I know how you feel and it can be depressing. I too am a bit overweight and it seems like sometimes we're not taken seriously b/c of our weight issue. If we could waive a wand and be skinny we would!! It's just not easy for all people to lose weight and I happen to be in that club! Keep your head up!

 

[hopes fading]

Hi I don't want to bring a downer on anyone, but I just needed a place to vent, i have a blog, but its not exactly anywhere you get a reassuring response.

OK, so, in a nutshell, Me and my Hubby have been married for nearly 7 years, TTC for 2, I have been told "It's your weight, It's your weight" "you need to loose weight" "get your BMI down below 36.5 (was about 41) and then we can help you" i have lost 3stone and my BMI is now 35.4, I have an appt with my Gynae in 2 weeks, and will get results of some blood tests they did to see if I am actually OV as I have quite irregular periods with no PCOS or any other medical doodaas they can find. I just feel so low. I made things worse a few weeks ago by counting all the babies that had been born in the 2 years we have been TTC, this is people I actually know, family, work colleagues, friends etc, the magic number?............29!!! 29?!? it's just so F***ING UNFAIR! and the thing that makes me the maddest is that at least 5 of them that I know about were "accidents", my mood is just so low atm, I've just had a cry by thinking about the wonderful time I had yesterday with my nephew (yes even my sister-in-law was a honeymoon baby, how I cried over that, but wouldn't change him for the world) and seeing her with him and being so jealous, they say the green eyed monster makes an appearance, I say he's taken up residence in my life right now.

I'm not sure really what I'm hoping to achieve from this but just need someone to talk to who is going through the same thing

I was a member of another forum like this one, but had to leave as it got too much and too stressful, now I'm feeling like I need some support again.

Anyone with the same kind of story? I would love to hear anything I just feel so crappy.

HippyChicki

I am sending you some happy, lucky vibes. All of you in fact (and of course me too!) X

 

[xMissxZoiex]

i know the frustration and the jelousy your not alone! Hopefully you will get some answers from the bloodwork you are having done. I two have been trying for just over 2 years and just starting to have tests done. Keep your chin up and look to the future the bloods might be the answer to you getting your baby! Think positive! xxx

 

[Redfraggle]

Aw HippyChick. You made me want to reach in to my laptop to give you a hug

Totally know where you are coming from. Think we all do. Its a horrible hateful journey we are on. I've been TTC for nearly five years now. Lost count how many babies there have been in that time!

Have a cry and a rant and a rave every now and again. It does help. And there are some amazing ladies here as well with lots of support in the dark days.

But try to focus on the positives. Things are finally moving forward. You've lost a load of weight (congratulations on that by the way!).

 

[HippyChicki]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and hugs, we've been under the doctor for about 15 months because when I came off the pill i had 3 regular periods and then nothing for 6 months and they still have found nothing wrong, my DH has had his "little men" examined and they are fine. its just so frustrating as i'm sure you all are aware of it, i really feel for everyone and cannot imagine how i will cope if this carries on for another 2 years.
I've tried so hard with the weight its been a roller coaster couple of years for the both of us and i'm surprised I haven't gone down the depression side again, I don't want to be in that place again.
Thanks everyone. xxxx

 

[camishantel]

Hippy it will be ok I promise... I have lost 55 pounds and am still over 300 and I have been pregnant so weight is not affecting me getting pregnant as much just being able to make baby bean sticky... it will happen I know it will for me and you and everyone else on here and sometimes I feel like ranting everyday other times don't feel as bad... BIG BIG honestly rant and rave if you need at least on here you know you are not alone because sometimes we feel like it only just happens to us...it's so nice to know we are not alone and sometimes friends just don't understand because they have not been where we are...