just when i thought we was getting over the worst RANT sorry

[leanne4stars]

so after numerous school exclusions followed by meetings, staff training days and an increase in medication my oldest, 13 yr old male with ADHD, has had 3 GOOD weeks at school :0) yayyyyyyyy his behaviour in lessons has really improved since the staff have more knowledge on him and his reward card is working, (for now). still needs some work on his unsupervised times .. breaks and lunches but hey we can't get everything right at once.

last night he asked if a friend could stay over, he'd bring his uniform and they'd walk to schhol together today .... hmmmmm ....... 1st time for everything and he'd been sooooo positive at school i thought yh why not, reward him. stated the conditions, bed time wake time and no xbox time etc etc

so the friend came over, i treated them to chinese takeaway, let them stay up 1 hour later to watch xfactor then sent them to bed on a positve note

an hour later i've gone upstairs to bed but can smell something wierd and horrible :/ my son comes out his bedroom and i ask him wt the smell is? 'i don't know'. i ask him again 'i don't know', i open his door and know the smell is from his bedroom so ask again wt the smell is? 'i don't know i can't smell anything'.

by now i have worked out it is a burnign smell and give him 5 seconds to tell me what is burning or i will search his bedroom and be very angry if i find something, 'i don't know'. i get angry and he hands me a lighter
they'd only been picking stuffing out his mattress and burning it on a cd

everything i have ever learnt about adhd and how best to talk with my lad goes right out the window and i start shouting and screaming about stupidness, disappointment and consequences etc etc i drive the friend staright home

now i feel sooooo guilty for screaming and shouting and acting like the crazy woman i should of handled it so much better

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm sorry to see nobody has replied to this, not really supportive, is it?

My boy is only 6 but already a 'handful' due to ADHD...i find it v frustrating because he can be so loving, and as you say, time after time i give him the benefit of the dout only to have it thrown back in my face. He has just restarted medication after a break (family bereavement) so I'm hoping for some improvement.

Don't feel guilty for shouting,i think you had every reason to be mad! I'm not ashamed to say I shout at Ollie, probably more than I should but hey its stressful and challenging, and I refuse to feel bad about it, when he's hitting and kicking people and 'running riot'

I hope that with time and the right medication your sons behaviour improves somewhat, though I have come to accept Ollies behaviour, even with meds, will never be the same as a 'normal' child the same age...i just hope that he becomes more manageable.

Inbox is always open xxxx

 

[Newt]

try not to beat yourself up about shouting, it probably scared you half to death as well as annoyed you. this doesnt make you a bad mum, in fact the complete opposit, it just goes to show you do care. you see some kids around being treated dreadfully and their parents dont have the added pressure and trials that come with a condition.
I reckon you doing really well, imo
*hugs*

 

[velvetina]

I am sorry I have just come back here after no laptop for 3 weeks. I just wanted to offer a and say you are not a bad mum. I do the same after a major rant or shout half way through a voice in my head says "stop why are you doing this" but you get so mad you can't stop. I know it is exhausting and damn hard work.

Can I ask hun, do you restrict and control your son's diet to assist with the behaviour? I only ask because your story reminded me of my 2nd cousin (a few ago now) who had such severe adhd he went to a special school and boarded during the week to help with his diet. His dad took him out one weekend and didn't think but let him have a McDonalds, that night back at school he had set fire to it. His behaviour was really affected by foods. I can tell you now many years later he went onto train as a chef and is doing really well, a character but settled and happy.