Kash Robert Patrick has arrived <3

[msarkozi]

thanks Chris! That is sweet you are naming baby after your grandma

The results should be there, but I am just waiting to be called in, instead of me phoning to find out. I would prefer to get through the baptism first, just in case there is anything bad that comes of it. I'm not too sure when we move into the house, but I am guessing within a month or two at the most. Some of the people ahead of me on the list have moved, so I should be in the first 4 for the next round that moves. They are just redoing some of the houses now. I can't wait. They are supposed to be done with ceramic tile floor and hardwood floors...not this stupid laminate crap. I just really want the space.

Jaymes is ok. She lost a baby before she had Lexi, and it's still taking a toll on her. She said she thinks of everyone and misses us all a lot. Lexi is getting so big. I don't remember exactly what she said she weighs now, but it was over 16 lbs

Kash is doing good. I just had to put him in the exersaucer so I can type, lol! He is obsessed with the keyboard, so when we were out, we bought him a leapfrog laptop that he can play with instead. He mainly eats it, lol! We are just going to leave the house to go visit someone. But omg with the exersaucer! He finally figured it out earlier in the week, and it is so noisey! lol! He bounces in it all the time, and of course it sets off all the music as well. The bouncing is soooooooo loud, and then he squeals too. He's having fun though

Gord isn't really feeling better, but I have zero sympathy for him. He spends pretty much day and night on the golf course (as he seems to only work one day a week.....which they better start giving him hours so I can pay bills!!), and then he complains about hurting. I told him if he is going to continue golfing, then he has no right to complain about hurting and I don't want to hear it.

 

[vickyd]

We are baptising Hero 18th of Sept. but were having a double ceremony with our christian wedding as well...The church here does not baptise unless youve had a christian ceremony GRR!!! I havent seen the dress Hero will be wearing, my sis is the godmother and has picked everything out and i want it to be a suprise!
I also got Hero a jumperoo, its such a lifesaver!!! She literally never wants to be sitting or laying down...The child only sleeps like 7 hours a day, its really killing my back!!
Hows the weaning going? Im having a hard time as she only seems to like apples at the mo...Shes taking some more rice cereal but only when mixed with suprise suprise apples!!! Veggies are a no no at the mo she really is not liking them... Tomorrow we get our third round of shots and hopefully a new menu from the doc to try..

Hopefully James recovers...I sometimes get sad thinking about Electra but i try to imagine her as an angel watching over Hero and me and it takes some of the sadness away. I also try to be the happiest mom i can be its not fair to my baby to be sad and depressed.

Sucks about Gord playing golf all the time...I would have gotten rid of his clubs lol!!

 

[msarkozi]

lol Vicky! unfortunately, he just bought the new clubs so I can't throw away all that money. I am hoping next summer will be different since he better not have a hernia again, and therefore will be working every day!

that is so nice that it will all be a surprise. I am really hoping at this point that his baptism suit still fits since he seems to be gaining weight! I am going to see if I can take him to the doctor for a check up tomorrow and see how I go about getting him on a set routine and to try and sleep more. I read in one of my info things that he should be sleeping 14.5 hours still at this point, and he doesn't even do close to that. Then he ends up being cranky, and it's like would you just sleep then?! lol!

we are doing good with the solids so far. He loves bananas and apples as well! We are on day 3 of apples and then Thursday I am going to try peas with him. He had sweet potato and the first day he was like what the heck is this, but then the next 3 days, he ate the whole serving of it. He didn't like the homemade rice cereal, so I am using the bought stuff. He did like it, but then I think he got confused because we were gone for so long and I couldn't keep up with the solids while we were away, and so then when I was giving it to him again, he didn't really like it anymore. So then I mixed banana in it and he loved it again lol! They are funny little creatures

Kash is going for his 6 month needles on the 26th. Thank goodness he gets a break from them for a little bit. He has done well with his other ones though.

I hope Jaymes recovers as well. I had to put my loss in the past as well. I just think how lucky I am to have Kash here with me instead, and that if I didn't lose the other one, then I wouldn't be blessed with this little guy that has quite the personality

Last night, he was cranky because he was tired, so I decided to take him to chase one of the cats around, lol! He was just giggling. Every time he spots the cats, he gets a great big smile and giggles. He just loves them, but they keep their distance now because he pulls their hair

 

[vickyd]

Phew! Glad to see im not the only one who has a hard time following through with the solids! we are on holiday at the moment and i keep missing meals!
I really hate the jabs...Her always spikes a fever for at least 24 hours. Im hoping this time she will react better...As for the sleep thing, well im gonna ask the doc tomorrow but to be honest hes just gonna brush me off as being over-protective. Hes like 70 and really old school so he thinks all this sleep training and stuff is BS. I wish she would have a nap or two during the day, its really hard having to amuse her all day and she still wakes at least once during the night. Last night she was up at 2, 4 and up for good at 7 am!! Im supposed to be relaxing since i go back to work on Monday!

 

[msarkozi]

that would be so hard to deal with and be back at work! That's why I want to get some kind of schedule going if I can, so that I have no issues when I go back in February. The most he will seem to sleep is 4-5 hours, and it's usually only 4. Then he will sleep for maybe 2-3 more hours. It's like no, just go back to sleep!! I put him in bed with me again this morning, and he slept for 2 more hours, but I don't want him in my bed so I can't keep doing that.

I find it too hard to keep up with the solids when on holidays, especially when you are making the food yourself. Then you are always on the go, and so the whole feeding thing gets screwed up.

So all my results are in. I see the doctor on the 25th, so at least I can get through the weekend first and enjoy it. We shall see what next week holds though.

I was out for a nice long walk yesterday, and one of the housing contractors stopped me on the road. He told me to find out where I am on the housing allocation list, and then he will make sure somehow that we get the house we want (yah!). So now I am in the process of trying to find that out, but no one wants to respond to me...go figure!

 

[msarkozi]

ok, so the doctor's office from my colposcopy just phoned and told me my results.......it came back as a high grade lesion and has to be removed. She said it wasn't cancer, but if left untreated it will most likely turn to be. So I have to travel back south to have it removed October 14th. I so hope this takes away the pinched nerve feeling I have down there! She said the lesion will be sent out for pathology again, and once they have the report back, they will phone and let me know those results. She said she is suspecting it isn't going to change from being high grade to cancer, so let's hope not! I just realized I never asked if this means a part of my cervix is being removed?!

So, I guess just to wait to hear my thyroid results next week.......

 

[Allie84]

That's good news Mel! YAY for not being cancer. I'm not sure what that means for your cervix. Hmm. I'm assuming they will just remove the lesion and hopefully leave your cervix mainly intact?

Good luck on the thyroid results...I would be breathing easier if I were you because cervical cancer would be worse than thyroid cancer (from what I understand) but of course two negative results are better than one!

What a nice housing contractor. The prospect of new home is always exciting.

I know nothing about parenting/sleeping/feeding yet....but it sounds like you're doing a great job.

 

[vickyd]

Great news Mel, lets hope the thyroid results are negative too....The lesions that are gonna be removed are they HPV lesions? If so i think these are basically frozen and removed without harming your cervix in any way. A friend of mine had this procedure done last year and she was absolutely fine.

I hate to say it but im glad Kash is also sleeping so badly lol!!! I was starting to worry that only Hero is such a bad sleeper due to the fact that i have yet to prepare the nursery lol!!!!!!!

 

[msarkozi]

lol Vicky! I am really wishing for some sleep though. It's Gord keeping me up as well. Every single night lately, he takes over the whole bed and I end up with legs on me and arms on me, his head on my pillow and what not. It pisses me off! When I get up with Kash and go back to bed, I have to ask him to move over. Then within 5 minutes, he is back on my side of the bed again. And he snores so badly now, and I can't fall asleep. So I keep going to the couch and sleeping for what I can until he gets up for work, and then I crawl back into bed.....but then Kash is always awake an hour or two later. ugh!

I am not sure if it is from hpv or not. She just told me that I will be frozen this time, and it's about a 20 minute procedure to remove it. I know they told me when I was getting the colposcopy done that it is usually caused by hpv and a person could have it for 5 or 10 years even and it just surfaced due to stress or something. I'm just scared it could turn cancerous. I hadn't had a pap in 2 years because of being pregnant, and so who knows how long it's been there for.....and there is no set time as to when it can turn.......

I have so much to do today and I have no idea how to get it all done?! Gord is completely useless and doesn't help me with Kash or anything household related. We were fighting last night too, and I am getting so tired of it. He gets to be such a dick, but then he says it's you being that way, and it's not at all. He never sits back and listens to the way he talks to me or anything like that, and is always putting words in my mouth that I have never said. And that's because he never listens to a damn word I say. It annoys the hell of out of me. I was trying to tell him something the night before, and he was sitting there trying to talk to Kash in the middle of me talking. So later that night he was like you never did tell me what you were going to. I was like ffs, I tried telling you a few times, and you never listened. He said he was listening then, and I was like no I am tired of repeating myself all the time, and if you can't listen when I'm talking then I am not going to tell you again. And last night, the fight started because I was in the middle of saying something and he goes and blows up at me, and I was like can I please finish saying what I am saying before you interrupt me?! And him blowing up at me was uncalled for. He asked me to explain something, and so I was, and then he blew up at me in the middle of it saying his opinion does't matter, and it had nothing to do with the conversation at all. I seriously just want to punch him in the head at times.

Honestly, part of me doesn't even know if I want to be with him anymore! I just feel like I deserve someone better then this and someone that is going to respect me and actually be a father to Kash.

 

[vickyd]

Mel 2 years is not such a long time to go without a pap. As far as i know, having the hpv virus which doesnt produce lesions is much more dangerous than theactual outbreak of lesions as far as cancer is concerned. my sister has 2 lesions that manifested after taking cortisone for a few years and her doctor which a specialist in the area of hpv actually has not removed them. They have since almost completely disapeared.

They say having a baby can either bring a couple closer together or tear them completey apart. You need to establish a new way of communication and you need your partener to be there to help out 100%. Gord needs to realise that your lives are 100% diffeerent forever. His hobbies and free time need to be reduced in order for him to help you and be there for Kash. It wont work if he doesnt realise this! Alex had a hard time adjusting at first but i kept finding things for him to do with Hero on his own. I also went out even for an hour a day and left him to take care of her just for him to see how tiring it actually is. Maybe you could do the same. Say you need to run errands and leave him in charge a few times.

 

[Allie84]

Ahh Mel, I feel for you having a hard time sleeping. I'm reaching that point in pregnancy but I can't really blame it on anyone. It's a bummer Gord takes up so much space! Maybe you should think of investing in a king size?

Life is too short to be in an unhappy situation....I think Gord needs to buck up! I like Vicky's idea of leaving him alone with Kash so he can get a taste of what it's like.

 

[msarkozi]

Trust me, we will be getting a king size bed, but not until after we move. The last few nights, he has been ok. He said he is afraid of getting hit again, lol! He should be!

I do tell him often that I am going to go get groceries or run somewhere else, and he will be like you're leaving him with me, and I say yes. But he just doesn't get it at all. I have a hair appt tomorrow night, and he knew about it for awhile. So earlier in the week when I said that I was hoping he was off on Thursday because of my hair appt, he was like I have a golf meeting (which was the first I heard of it), and I was like oh. So he asked why I said it like that, and I said once again golf is more important. And he was like how is that going to sound if I say I can't go to the golf meeting because you have a hair appt. I told him it's called being a parent and looking after your child!!!! He is so selfish and I can't stand it. He just got off of work early, and within 10 minutes, he's out the door going golfing already!! He doesn't spend any friggin time with us, and I am a single parent! The only thing I need him for right now is for an income.

He knew I had my doctor appointment this morning as well, and he hasn't even asked about my results. SELFISH!!!!! I have no intent on telling him either because he only cares and thinks about himself. So if he ever asks, then I will tell him.

So, my thyroid results came back as being a cold nodule, but it is benign. Nothing is being done about it. He said to come back in 3 months again to get it looked at. I was like but it hurts (it's a large lump). He said it can be removed, but then I would be left with a scar instead and a surgeon probably isn't willing to remove it since it isn't doing anything. So I have a thyroid that doesn't work, which I am guessing is one of the reasons why I can't lose any of the weight at all and I look like a friggin blimp!!! I'm seriously so tired of being fat and not fitting into my clothes and looking horrible! But the only exercise I am able to get is going for walks each day when it is nice out, because I have no help with Kash...............

 

[Allie84]

Keep taking those walks while the weather is good...fall and winter are so close, I cant' believe it! Have you thought of putting Kash in daycare part-time or at least find some drop-in car so you can get stuff done if Gord's not around? You definitely deserve to have some time to get your hair done and work out or whatever it is you need to get done...I've worked in childcare and we often had kids from 8 weeks old coming in full-time, which I wouldn't want to do, but I think daycare can be really good.

Thank goodness about your thyroid results! I'm so sorry you're in pain, though. So other than surgery there is nothing that can be done about the pain?

Btw I bet you look good! I've heard it can take a long time for baby weight to come off (how much did you put on again?).....and with everything you've had going on.....please don't be hard on yourself. You're a beautiful mother!

 

[vickyd]

Mel great news about the thyroid results! Sorry they wont remove it for you, a friend of mine got hers removed..I know how you feel about the weightloss...I havent been able to shift any weight at all either...It really puts a damper on things doesnt it? I was about to stat going to the gym this week and my back gave in! I have to fit into my wedding dress on the 18th and my best mate last night said theres no way that will happen unless i loose at least 5 pounds...Im starting the cabbage diet tomorrow lol!
Gord needs a punch in the face...Sorry but theres no point in having a man if he isnt helping, you might as well be a single mom. Who knows, maybe youll be entitled to some benefits?

 

[msarkozi]

I tell him all the time that I am a single mom. I seriously do not know what it is going to take for him to snap out of it and realize he is a parent and has responsibilities?! I did have a little chat with him today though that we need to reconnect because I feel very distant from him and that I don't know if we are going to make it. I think that put a little realization into it for him. I told him we need to get back to where we were before, so hopefully he is willing to work on it.

Gord was luckily working late again last night, so I needed the sitter anyway. I almost cried when I dropped him off! He did great though. He of course decided not to nap when he should have, so he was quite tired when I picked him up. You would think he would have slept great last night, but not even close! I am exhausted today. I had to be up to take him for his 6 month needles this morning (he didn't even cry!).

While I was there, I had to see the nurse practitioner because the doctor forgot to give me something for Kash's eczema the other day, and so I talked to him about my thyroid as well. He is wondering if I am going hypo now and he had blood tests done to find out. I had lost 10 pounds last month because of being hyper, but now I have gained like 14!!! I walk every day, and it's about 30-60 minutes and it's a brisk walk. Yet each day when I step on the scale, I have gained weight!!! I'm seriously so disgusted in myself. I gained 45 pounds or something like that when I was pregnant and only lost 20-23 pounds of it. It fluctuated. So currently I have almost 30 pounds of the baby weight to lose, and 30 pounds from what I put on before.

They are opening a daycare here in the fall, but you had to preregister for a spot. Because I know the people that are running it, I am not willing to put Kash in it at all. Not all the people working there are qualified. Since I took Early Childhood Development in College and am qualified to run a daycare, I know what needs to be done and is required. Knowing that those requirements aren't met, I won't do it. I feel more comfortable leaving him with a friend that I trust. My one friend did say that once things start settling down for her, she is willing to take him every now and then so I can have time to myself.

Once I have Kash on a daily schedule/routine, then I should be able to start working out or doing other things. So far it is seeming like we have a bit of a schedule going. He seems to be waking for the day around the same time each day, napping about the same time and eating about the same time. Sometimes bedtime varies a little bit, but something seems to be going on lol! I don't want to jinx it, lol!

So, I decided to go mostly blonde again last night. I absolutely love it! It feels so nice to have my hair done again. It needed to be cut so badly!! Now I feel good about getting pictures done on Monday evening! Too bad I can't magically lose 60 pounds before then, lol!

 

[vickyd]

Wow i didnt know that you can go from hypo to hyper or vise versa...Talk about your metabolism being aout of whack!

There must be something wrong with me as a mother...I never have a problem dropping Hero off at my moms lol!! I actually enjoy being away from her while im at work. I need some me time or else i start going stir crazy! It doesnt help thta Hero hardly ever naps during the day and is quite an active baby. She hates being in her car seat or bumbo, she always wants to be up right which is probably why my back is completely fucked up.

 

[Jaymes]

Hi Mel! Sorry to hear Gord hasn't stepped up... I hope he will soon. Being a single mom sucks! I do it all the time as my dh is always traveling.

 

[msarkozi]

lol Vicky, nothing is wrong with you. We all need to have time to ourselves. I've never had any issues leaving him with family, but that was the first time leaving him with an actual sitter, so I found it hard lol.

So I had a call from the clinic last night while I was getting pictures done. Phoned them this morning, and they think I have hypothyroidism now. My count is at 10, where it was at 30 before when they thought it was hyperthyroidism. The doctor she talked to about it yesterday said to increase my meds, and then she seen I'm not on any meds. So she is trying to talk to someone today to figure out what to do with me. I might have to do bloodwork again on Friday to see what happens, and then see the doctor next week. She said something is definitely going on with my thyroid, but she doesn't know what. But it definitely explains why I gained 14 lbs in 3 weeks!!!

Gord and I actually almost split on the weekend because of another drunked stupor on his part. I told him if he walked out that door, Kash is 100% mine and I am pretty sure the courts would agree. The next day when he woke, everything was perfectly fine. He just doesn't get the fact that he can't go out drinking and come home whenever he pleases. He needs to be a responsible adult!

 

[Jaymes]

Sorry to hear that. I hope it all works for the best for you and Kash.

 

[youngwife20]

so cute! congrats! i was wondering why they induced you before your due date?