Keeping pregnancy a secret in first tri

[me222]

How is everyone hiding their pregnancy, especially in terms of bumps, energy levels, work, etc.?
And when are you planning on announcing?

 

[saraaa]

I don't think I'm hiding it particularly well at work lol, my work trousers are cutting me in half.
I do have a 2 year old though, so I can blame my tiredness on him!
I'll put my scan picture up when I have my 12 week scan, or maybe do a photo of my son in a big brother top and just wait for everyone to see it

 

[MindUtopia]

I'm always tired (I have a 4 year old, work full-time with a long commute, so exhausted is my usual state!), so no one will notice much of a difference. In terms of energy day to day, if you don't have other children you need to be up with, take yourself to bed early. The exhaustion won't last forever. I felt much better by 10 weeks and great by 2nd tri, but in the early weeks, especially around 6-9 weeks, I was exhausted. I literally went to bed at like 7-8pm a lot of nights.

Buy yourself a few new things to wear so you are comfortable, but not in obvious maternity clothes. I couldn't fit in my usual clothes (trousers/jeans) by 6 weeks last time, so leggings, dresses, long flowy tunics over maternity trousers/jeans will help to make it a little less obvious that you are getting bigger/bloated, without looking like you are obviously pregnant. I also wear a lot of scarves normally, so I just drape them down the front so they cover up any bloat.

And frankly, we're just avoiding many social situations where it would be obvious that I wasn't drinking. I am never one to turn down a glass (or 3) of wine, and actually my husband joked yesterday that the first people who are going to work it out are our neighbors because our recycling bin is suddenly not bursting with empty wine bottles! We got lucky that the next few months just happen to be really quiet - no weddings to go to, no events where there will be drinking, a lot of friends and family are busy, we're away or working a few weekends, so we literally won't really see many people until I'm past 12 weeks anyway. It just happened that way. Otherwise, if you need to disguise that you are obviously not drinking, if that would be a give away, I always either made myself a mixed drink with garnish and all, but it was really just soda water or tonic with a lime. Or I remember once last time I met a friend for brunch one day and I just got there early and ordered a virgin bloody mary, so it looked fancy, but really was just tomato juice with some hot sauce and celery in it. It also helps that the weather here is still cool so scarves and cardigans that wrap around me don't look out of place.

I've told one friend who I always tell, but we won't tell others til after our scan. I'll probably tell my mum around 8 weeks or so. I did last time and she's already moody enough about us having more kids (as in she isn't really keen on the idea because she found having me to be stressful, so she's always been a bit of a downer about making babies, even when I was pregnant with my first, never mind I'm an only child and they are her only grandchildren, but anyway!). Every time I talk to her she's like, 'I hope you aren't thinking of more kids soon!' (we're in our 30s, married, settled, highly educated, financially secure professionals, she just has a weird thing about us having kids because I think it was such a rough time in her life). So I want to head it off so she has a chance to get over it and not be too moody with me about it by the time we start telling more people and actually need her to be excited about it. I'll probably tell work about 12 weeks as well after our scan. I need to be planning ahead as my job is entirely grant funded and project based, so we need to plan what we'll do with our project while I'm off for a year and how we will organise the funding for it in terms of start days and such, so that's about the time we should start having those conversations. Fortunately, I work from home 2 days a week, so I just have to rally and look alive the other 3 days that I'm in the office.

 

[Orglethorp]

I'm 7weeks today, and we're telling parents this weekend. Once immediate family knows, I'm not sure if we're announcing or if we're just going to get sloppy about what we post on Facebook I've told 3 friends, all who I only know online, just to have someone to talk to. Actually no, I've told 2. I was going to tell the 3rd, but she posted a status about a bad migraine and I didn't want to bother her.

My doctor and I agreed that unless I end up with any risks to this pregnancy, this is not the time to tell work, lest they change my job and hours too soon. Because of that, I'm actually worried about this going out on Facebook, as I have some coworkers as friends. I don't mind if they know, I just don't want management to know.

 

[ReversalMommy]

We've already told our closest family and friends have noticed cuz my bloat is SO bad...it's actually freaking my hubby out lol �� I'm 5 weeks, but we are waiting until after our first ultra sound and then some to "announce" it. I like my close knit knowing because if something did happen I know my girls will be there to support me better than hubby can sometimes (men aren't as sensitive)

 

[george83]

I think whatever excuse you use for not drinking people just assume your lying and your pregnant anyway so I wouldn't over complicate things, same for buying new clothes that are in any way slightly different to what you usually wear!!

 

[Emmab9833]

I just didn't know I was pregnant till 11weeks 4 days.

Looking back I probably was a bit more tired and grumpy lol xxx

 

[AshNAmber]

Since this is my first time ever being pregnant. I couldn't keep quite about it to long. I did do better than I thought I would. I found out at 4wk+5. Told our close family and friends at 6wk+5 and told my work and BF told his work at 8wks after our first US and we saw a strong heartbeat. We however have not went public with it on Facebook yet. Trying to wait till 12wks possibly 13. We did have announcement pictures taken for when we are ready for the rest of our extended family and other friends to know.

 

[hello_kitty]

This is baby no 3 for us. We dont plan to tell anyone for as long as we can for personal reasons.

 

[SonnyH]

I told my parents at 6 weeks (my poor Mum was worried why I was so sick!) and the OH's parents at 8 weeks when they came to visit. I told my manager at 7 weeks as the sickness was so rubbish I didn't feel I could lie to him for another 5 weeks. Thankfully I have a fantastic manager so I knew it'd be OK to tell him. Everyone else, we waited until the 12 week scan.

I told my colleagues a white lie about having a stomach infection and it making me quite ill. Kinda covered all bases for the morning sickness, bland food eating, bloat and loosing weight! None of them minded I had when I announced the pregnancy! Clothes wise, I wore maternity jeans but rolled the elastic down and wore longer fitting vest type tops under my jumpers to hide it!

 

[me222]

I don't think I'm hiding it particularly well at work lol, my work trousers are cutting me in half.
I do have a 2 year old though, so I can blame my tiredness on him!
I'll put my scan picture up when I have my 12 week scan, or maybe do a photo of my son in a big brother top and just wait for everyone to see it

@saraa-has anyone at work said anything?

 

[me222]

@mindutopia-I'm sorry your Mum hasn't been very enthused in the past. I think my Mum will be (in her own way). We had been lttc for almost 6 years. Thank you for your ideas bout clothes. I don't drink alcohol so have nothing to worry bout there .

 

[me222]

I just didn't know I was pregnant till 11weeks 4 days.

Looking back I probably was a bit more tired and grumpy lol xxx

Emma9833- wow! So you were able to cruise through first trimester? can I ask how you didn't find out until much later?

 

[lilmisscaviar]

This is my fourth so I still have a little pudge from my last pregnancy lol so I already look like I'm "showing" a little. The bloat doesn't help either. I really want to wait until I'm at least I'm in the second trimester to announce but people are already guessing.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

I'm technically still keeping it a secret. A handful of close friends know, and my bosses, but that's it. I'm kind of overweight to begin with, and this is my first, so I really don't think I'm showing much. I've just been wearing stuff that's a little darker and baggier.

At the moment, my plan is to tell the father and my mom on Apr 2, my coworkers on Apr 7, all the friends that come to my BDay party on Apr 8, and then all of social media on Apr 9.

 

[DobbyForever]

Not much to add. I'd be wary of stomach bug to cover illness. I don't know how other jobs are re illness, but as a teacher if I went into work and said I had a stomach bug I would be sent home and people would be annoyed scrambling to find a sub. I wasn't sick but I'd go more like I ate something new and it didn't sit right.

As for drinking, make excuses to not go. Like someone said no natter your excuse people jump to pregnancy. Just be comfortable saying no and if they ask later say you weren't ready to share/your doctor said not to that early.

Clothes agreed just loose clothing, not even maternity shirts. You can use a rubber band on your button or cut up a tank top if you want to hold off getting maternity jeans. Swing jackets are awesome/jackets in general and it's still so cold hehe.

I told my boss at 14 weeks because my bump was huge, I just did some majorly awesome things at work, and I wanted to wear maternity clothes lol. Once my boss knew, I announced on fb/told coworkers. But I did not want my boss hearing it secondhand. My announcement was a collage with my dogs with baby stuff and my 12w nt scan pic with something like joining the pack and the due date

 

[TiredMommy27]

This is baby no 3 for us. We dont plan to tell anyone for as long as we can for personal reasons.

Same here

 

[me222]

I'm technically still keeping it a secret. A handful of close friends know, and my bosses, but that's it. I'm kind of overweight to begin with, and this is my first, so I really don't think I'm showing much. I've just been wearing stuff that's a little darker and baggier.

At the moment, my plan is to tell the father and my mom on Apr 2, my coworkers on Apr 7, all the friends that come to my BDay party on Apr 8, and then all of social media on Apr 9.

@prettyinink -how far along are you now? Your ticket indicates you're already in second tri..?

 

[saraaa]

I don't think I'm hiding it particularly well at work lol, my work trousers are cutting me in half.
I do have a 2 year old though, so I can blame my tiredness on him!
I'll put my scan picture up when I have my 12 week scan, or maybe do a photo of my son in a big brother top and just wait for everyone to see it

@saraa-has anyone at work said anything?

Not yet! I'm gonna have to get some new trousers for Monday, I don't think I can get away with mine much longer.

 

[stellababy]

We told close family around 8w, and a few good friends at 14w. Just last weekend I told the rest of my friends and work still doesn't know!