Keeping the news from others

[BlushingBride]

Hi!! So we have a wedding to attend this weekend and we haven't told anyone except my mom. Do any of you get anxious ahead of time knowing you have to keep this a secret and hope that no one notices your lack of drinking? Ugh! Sometimes I think it'd be easier just to tell so I could relax!

 

[charliekay]

I went on a works do an wasn't drinking, my excuse was that I was on antibiotics that you couldn't drink alcohol with. Everyone seemed to buy it x

 

[Scout]

Actually, when I was pregnant with daughter, I loved keeping it all to myself. And seriously, I never really had anyone notice things I thought for sure they'd notice. I didn't tell people until I was around 24 weeks, except for my mom and sister and an aunt at 13 weeks.

 

[Willow82]

I have a wedding tomorrow and don't plan on telling anybody but I really don't know how we're going to conceal it. I won't be drinking and I'm having really bad nausea in the afternoons and evening. There is no way people are not going to suspect....

 

[Indi84]

In my first pregnancy I went to a wedding and was asked loads if I was pregnant, I wasn't drinking, kept yawning in the evening bit, I felt sick and must have looked it a bit lol etc but even though I felt bad for lying no way would I announce news like that at a wedding, not my place to steal thunder (not saying you would)!
Recently at a party though my friend guessed outright, after about 3 seconds! It was just her though so I admitted it!
I hardly ever drink so I don't know why that was a flag up! My friends must have a super sense.
I'm sure you'll be fine, good luck, easiest to say you needed to drive/antibiotics etc

 

[PrincessTaz]

You could kind of double bluff and say you're not drinking because your ttc and you're being healthy as possible. Then throw a bit of moaning that your OH isn't following suit and everyone will definitely believe you lol

 

[jumpingo]

i had this problem last night with a bunch of friends i hadn't seen in awhile. EVERY time they saw i wasn't drinking a beer, the newly arrived person would say, "oh my gosh, are you pregnant?!" and i had a bit of a soapbox prepared.

"women who are asked that are in 1 of 4 categories:
1. she's pregnant and she just didn't come out and tell you, but if you ask, she'll be excited and say yes.
2. she's pregnant but it's too early and isn't telling anyone yet so will lie and tell you no.
3. she's not pregnant, and possibly not trying. a bit presumptuious to assume everyone wants kids, or wants kids now, doncha think?
4. she's not pregnant, and wishes she was. this may involve infertility, miscarriage, or just a "no, still not pregnant, ugh" sentiment. (insert story of friend who has been married for 9 years, has miscarried 4 times and HATES that what she is drinking causes people to whisper and speculate and ALL she wants is to be pregnant, so the question itself is heartbreaking.)

here's where everyone expects you to tell you which one you are...but i said:

"and i'm not going to even tell you which one of those i am. it's personal, and if i wanted to share, i would. so you can assume or not assume what you will.<takes sip of nonalcoholic drink and helps self to more salad.>"

it actually sparked a really good dialog with my friends. some were more unsettled by not getting a yes or no answer (in hindsight, it's like, really? did you not get any of what i just said? but whatever, not my problem! haha), but the understanding ones really realized that i had thought a lot about it and was asking them to think about asking women that question in the future and/or not be so quick to make judgements based on what a woman does or doesn't eat/drink. i'm sort of guessing they guessed i was in category #4, but i didn't say one way or the other (sneaky #2). AND they even came up with 2 more options:

5. she's not pregnant, has just gained weight, butthankyouverymuch.
6. she's extremely hung over and can't stomach drinking again tonight.

i thought number 6 might actually be pretty useful/believeable for anyone who is known to have a beer or glass of wine all the time.

 

[nessaw]

My sil used no6 and convinced us on a big family meal. I've got a friends birthday tom and would usually drink. I used up the driving excuse on another friends birthday a couple of weeks ago but dh is coming this time. Am going with the antibiotics. I have told these friends early every other time but just don't want to this time-not sure why.

 

[Nikie]

My problem is that I keep nearly spilling the beans! I forget that I'm not saying anything to work colleagues yet and sometimes I go on my baby app and then nearly say 'my baby has webbed hands and feet now!' Etc etc....have to keep biting my tongue!

 

[lintu]

I just walked round with the coke and told people it was vodka and coke lol