Kids say the funniest things

[MrsLQ]

Do you have any examples of this....my friend needs them for a project.

 

[helen1234]

i remember rosie saying to me, "mummy when nan was a little girl and world was black and white did they have tv's"

and she also said "when i grow up i want to be the person who sits behind the wall giving money to people when they put their card in and ask for money, i wil get paid with whats leftover"

 

[leeanne]

My son has said some dandies. LOL

One that sticks out though is:

Jayden: Mom, when we get older how will we know where to find you?

I started to explain that he will always know where I will be, etc. when he says:

"Oh, I know. GPS!"

 

[mamato2more]

About 40 years ago, there used to be a show called "Kids say the darndest things" because they did. Anyhoo..funniest story came from my sister..She was in the bathroom one day, doing her thing, when the 3yo came in..Little darling girl..She looked at her mama sitting on the toilet, and announces "Mama! Your bottom is wayyyy too big for that toilet!!!"...Now, granted, my sister is not a big woman,but I do think she was pregnant at the time...Oh, funny girl!

 

[fordy]

i was eating oranges the other day and i was telling my 19 yr old niece how much i loved them and my 8 yr old son pipes up with tears in his eyes "does that mean you're gonna leave daddy"
i couldnt help but laugh and give him a big hug and reassure him that i wasnt leaving his daddy for an orange!!

 

[Elli21]

@ these!!!


My little boy was sitting and watching tom and jerry....he said to me "where does tom and jerry go when the adverts are on?"
I couldnt think of an answer so i changed the subject

 

[Panda_Ally]

When i was younger my mum was trying to explain the difference between cucumbers and courettes then i said... "doesn't sue next door smoke courettes"

 

[marley2580]

We lived in Dundee when we were younger, which is built on the plug of an extinct volcano. One day my little brother asked my mum "mum? What did you do when the volcano erupted?"

 

[alice&bump]

my niece was round once when a friend of mine was. he turned to her and gave her a dead cheesy, toothy grin. she turned to him and just went "your teeth are really yellow!" omg i almost died trying not to laugh!!

 

[Abz1982]

I dunno if this is that Funny.

At about 4 years old my sis came home from school, walks up to my dad, tugs his trousers so he turns round and tell him she has something to tell him. She then proceeds to say "Daddy, Your f*&^ing Mental!"

Dad still doesnt know where she got it from as it was a good local school she was at!

 

[belladonna]

Apparently when I was little I was trying to say something and it wouldn't come out so my mum said to me to ''just spit it out'' so I stopped talking and spat on the floor

 

[sleepinbeauty]

these are fantastic!! Keep them coming!

I have a few on my little sisters:
1) G was about 2 yrs and she liked to lay on her back under the coffee table and put her feet on the bottom of it. Well, one day she pushed her feet too hard and fliped it over. "Oh sit!!"
2) G was 2-ish again and we're in the car and she turns around, dead serious and (in a robot voice) asks me what "procrastination" meant.
3) M was 3-4 and she must have overheard my father talking to his friends about how he hung the deer in the f*cking tree to skin it or whatever. Later on, dad is talking to M. "Where is the deer?" "In the f*cking tree!"
4) M was 5-6 and sitting on the back of a 4 wheeler. Dad bumped into the gas and she fell off and called him an asshole. Can't say she was WRONG at that point!

Well, that makes us all look like potty-mouths, doesn't it? (Alright, M is 17 and she IS one, but the rest of us aren't THAT bad!) lol

 

[lokyi]

stories here are so funny

 

[FsMummy]

i have a few. the other day faith turned round and sai "mummy, does cats have eyebrows?" my neice has said some funny ones: my bil was eating a bowl of icecream and my neice (who was 2 at the time) says "eat it before it gets cold matthew" so he says "its already cold" so she replies "eat it before it gets hot then" then another time the same guy says to her "where were your trainers when you last saw them?" she replies "on my feet matthew" lol faith always says hilarious things but i cant think of any!

 

[mumof2girls]

LOL at all of these.... cant think of any myself but really cheered me up!

FsMummuy I do like the picture in your avatar!!! lol

 

[sezzlebum]

from my girlies:

"mum should i put my coat on the radigator?" (coat on the radiator)
"mummy did you know that the rhinosopus is maffisse" (rhinosaurus is massive)
"wow its really froggy out there" (foggy)
"can we go to double-oh on holiday?" (can we go to dublin)

mine come out with loads, i love it lol

 

[sleepinbeauty]

cute!

 

[tinybutterfly]

i was eating oranges the other day and i was telling my 19 yr old niece how much i loved them and my 8 yr old son pipes up with tears in his eyes "does that mean you're gonna leave daddy"
i couldnt help but laugh and give him a big hug and reassure him that i wasnt leaving his daddy for an orange!!

i once got mad at my mom for putting on a Roy Orbinson record and telling
me she loved him.
i looked at her all mad and asked "and does daddy know 'bout this???"


and during the last family gathering i explained the concept of renting
money from the bank to my cousin (4.5), when i was done he goes
"that's just not right!" LOL, bless kiddy insight

 

[steffi2]

My son was 6 when this happened.

He was carrying his pet turtle around after the bowl had been cleaned and when he put him back inside, he was staring at it for a while and announced. "This is a female turtle!"

I asked him: How can you tell? (I was a little worried he would say something where I would have to explain the birds and the bees to him after)

Well mom, I know it's a female turtle because it just winked at me! ;-P

 

[steffi2]

When my son was 3 1/2 and was going to pre-school, he was asking the teacher if he could borrow something from her. The teacher asked him...:"Jaime what are the magic words?"

He thought for a few seconds and said, "Abracadabra?"

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My 5 year old daughter asked me the other day:

"Mommy, Why are you fat?"

I said "Because Baby Gavin's in my tummy..."

She said, "But why's your butt fat? The baby can't be in your butt too!"