Known sperm donor...

beth_terri

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Me and my girlfriend have been looking into finding a donor so she can carry a baby of her own and i think we've actually found one... only its someone she knows. Now he's said he will help us providing were serious, doing it for all the right reasons and we keep it to ourselves that he would be the biological father. Which is perfect for us as we want the baby to be ours, not hers and his iykwim. I'm just worried with him living near by, what if he decides actually he does want to be daddy. Has anyone got any positive known donor stories to tell me??
 
We are using a donor who lives fairly lives but none of us knew him before. Personally I would be wary using someone my wife had known previously but there are couples it has worked for. Are you married? If so you will both be able to be on the birth certificate and as far as I know he will have no rights, if not and he changes his mind later on and wants to be involved it could be a sticky situation. We are also using a donor contract, technically not legally enforceable but a previous case that went through the courts said that unles circumstances change and you didn't abide by the contract ie allowing him more contact than stated then it should be given legal weight.

Only go for it if you are both 100% comfortable with it. Good luck.
 
I'm in the states, so my legal situation seems to be a bit different. We've hired a lawyer to take care of our second parent adoption and the release of parental rights for our known donor (close friend of about 9 years). We are using more than one type of contract so that if one gets overturned in the courts one day we still have the protection of the other.
 
Thanks guys. Well everything's been talked through properly and the sperm donor wants to be just that, a sperm donor. He said himself that he doesn't want to sound selfish but he wants nothing to do it other than helping up create a baby. Perfect! He's happy to provide sperm several times during her fertile period so we don't have to worry too much about getting it perfect that ONE time. We start next week :)
 
Oh and no we arent married. Were engaged so whether we get a quick marriage before the baby is actually born or not I don't know x
 
I get married first as you have to then faff with adoption otherwise in the UK. My wife and I are civil partners so that gives us the right to be Mother & Parent on the birth certificate x
 
See now im confused, as ive read on several different websites that if the mother is not married, she can choose whether to have the sperm donor or her partner (male or female) on the birth certificate. Our donor doesn't want to be on the certificate. How do I find out for definite? Would the registry office be able to tell me if I give them a ring?
 
You have to be married before the baby is concieved to go on birth certificate
 
^^^
As above. You have to be married or in a CP in the UK before the baby is conceived in order for both parents to go on the birth certificate
I know a lot of women in this situation and there is no leeway. If you're not in a CP or marriage, the non birth mama cannot go on the birth certificate.
That is unless you go through a clinic, then both can regardless of marital status. But with a known donor you must be married or CP before conception.

This website is super helpful
https://www.nataliegambleassociates...er-donor-conception-lesbian-non-birth-mothers
 
Hiya, my partner and i are not married or in civil partnership and both our names went on the birth cert. Not sure if its because we had fertility treatment and the donor was not known. Our clinic also said at the start tht both names would be added.:flower:
 
We are using a known donor, the advantage of known is you at least know some history of their character. It's possible they could seek for rights and unless it's done through a clinic there is no 'protection' but you can make a 'contract of intentions' which helps with evidence should things go massively pear shaped. Good luck! :)
 
We are using a known donor (found him on the coparent website) and I made sure that we were married first before TTC, just to ensure my wife is the legal parent.

I'm sure that he could claim the child as his if you weren't married.
 
Apologies! Didn't look at the dates and realise now this is an old post :)
 

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