Labouring in hospital/at home

[LuckySalem]

My last birth with DD was a failed homebirth that became an emergency C/S when DD presented with the wrong part of her head.

This time I've agreed to go into hospital but that I wont go in till later than they'd like - they want to put me on a continuous monitor (non mobile one) to keep an eye on the scar.

So.... I've said no to continuous monitoring but will accept intermitent monitoring.
I want to say no to going in when contractions start (as the requested) but I don't want to just say no, just to have my own way.
My problem with being in hospital is
I don't like them so want to spend as little time as possible there.
I want to be relaxed and left alone as much as possible
I don't want to be parted from DP which i've heard they may do if i'm not in active labour (if i'm not in active labour they won't send me home apparently)

So I wanted to know everyone's experience of this and whether I'm being over the top - if possible? Please

 

[velvetina]

Hey hun, don't have any experience of home birthing, but I can certainly understand your anxieties and the concerns you have. I too have questions from my previous birth and I have done 2 things. First I have an appointment with my actual consultant next week to talk through my concerns and questions. I also have an appointment with the Birth Reflections unit at the hospital to talk through how best I can avoid the things that happened before and to have the best birth I can.

I would strongly suggest you ask for a meeting with either one of these to go through your questions and find out why they want you to do these things and to come to a compromise that you are comfortable with and that will look after you and baby the best possible way.

Def. ask if you asked to go in early where you will be placed and if your partner can stay with you. Usually when you move into active labour you will be taken to the labour ward where he can stay anyway.

Good luck hun. x

 

[LuckySalem]

We've already spoken to the registrar about this birth and the last and got no information from them! Without sounding nasty - she was foreign so I could barely understand what she did tell us. All we got from her is we can't make you do anything, which is fine but tell me what it is you want me to do and why first before you start saying anything else.

My plan is to write a birth plan for when I see them next (29th Dec) and ask them to look over it and tell me what they would like to change and where.

Just wanted peoples experiences on labouring at hospital really.

 

[mummypeanut]

heya hun,

What you want sound perfectly reasonable - its your body and baby

Who is going to be your birthing partner and are they likely to be ok re-enforcing your birth plan?? It sounds like you need to sit down with who ever is going to be with you and outline your wishes very clearly so they can make decsiions on your behalf and be 'your voice'.

Maybe you should consider employing a doula for the birth?

It would mean your birth partner can focus on you or focus on manageing the medical situation for you....or the doula can take either of those roles too - safety in numbers.

If i was you and could afford it i think i would find it benificial to have another person on my team to be my voice incase your in the birthing zone and cant express yourself that well.

If you want to look one up this website might be useful : https://www.doula.org.uk/

xxx

 

[LuckySalem]

We have looked into a doula cos I like the idea of someone with medical knowledge being able to tell me whether the MWs are talking "guidelines" or actual problems. If you know what I mean.
We can't afford a proper one but I know that there are 2 trainees in my area. We're going to decide after this meeting with the MWs. See how much of a fuss they put up first.

 

[mummypeanut]

sounds like a good idea Youre well prepared - it will all be fine!

xxxxx

 

[LuckySalem]

Thanks. I'm such a wimp when it comes to confrontation but my birth with DD wasn't great and I didn't bond with her for about 4 1/2 months and I really want this one to go better so i'm trying to be abit more forceful but I can't help but panic.

 

[mummypeanut]

Please dont Panic, the most important thing to do is relax. Women have been birthing since time began and all that has changed is that now birth has moved out of families/communities and into hospitals and is consequently much more out of our control - that can be pretty scary (well it is to me anyway )!! I'm a complete people pleaser and what worries me about hospital is not being able to speak up for myself because i dont want to cause 'trouble'.

You dont have to be a 'good' patient, its not a day a nurse or doctor is going to remember for the rest of thier lives (in the nicest possible way you are just one of many people they will be dealing with in that week) you on the other hand will always remember your baby being born! Who is it more important gets a good experience??

Dont worry about what they think if you're asking for something a little bit different. Its unlikely youre going to ask for something so 'OUT THERE' that theyre going to remember it for the rest of their lives.

Be true to yourself and do what you feel is right for you and baby, then youre never going to feel dissapointed!

**hugs**

Maybe see if you can get hold of any of the hypnobirthing material? Im finding it really helpful to work through some of my fears. xxx

 

[LuckySalem]

Will look at that as well then.

Thanks for all your help.

 

[MrsRH]

I laboured in hospital from 4cm onwards. I was in a side room on my own with my husband. We were left to our own devices with gas and air till I was ready to be moved to the delivery suite.

It seems that your previous delivery is impacting on how you feel now. I'd do as has been mentioned above and ask for an appointment to go through your previous delivery, your fears and anxieties about this one. It's usually done with a senior midwife.

good luck
xxx