Lack of intimacy & dtd

[twiggers]

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[Briss]

Jax, we are waiting for his SA results and if they are better well at least above 5 million we can try IUI if below then we wont be referred. My Dh is still not keen on the idea of assisted conception so that's even harder then getting him to BD. very frustrating

 

[Jax41]

Jax, we are waiting for his SA results and if they are better well at least above 5 million we can try IUI if below then we wont be referred. My Dh is still not keen on the idea of assisted conception so that's even harder then getting him to BD. very frustrating

With the amount of vits you've got him on they should be coming out with pompoms, gosh I so hope so. But surely he can see it would make life so much easier for you both? You're right v frustrating to say the least

 

[Briss]

I agree the amount of vits is ridiculous but unfortunately he loved his beer and it's only last 4 weeks that he stopped with alcohol completely, but at the same time he decided to do some hard core fasting and was on water (literally) for weeks – who knows what this could have done to his sperm. I also think that had his sperm count improved I would have probably been pregnant by now. anyway, I should be grateful he is making some positive changes, one step at a time.

How are you feeling? any promising symptoms?

 

[Jax41]

Flippin heck that really is hard core fasting, is he eating again now? Yes they're steps in the right direction even though they may not be the one's you want!

I'm feeling 'normal' no change to any other month!!

 

[Briss]

he is eating now but I guess damage has been already done. hopefully things can get better. He's so skinny it's scary but the good news is that he is building some muscles so fingers crossed his T levels will go up together with his sperm count.

actually no symptoms may as well be good news, fingers crossed AF will stay away, keep us posted

 

[viccat]

I am feeding him cooked tomatoes and garlic everyday supposed to improve sperm count

Is it sad, that I just read that, and felt really hopeful because we eat a lot of food that includes tomatoes and garlic?

 

[Briss]

Viccat, that's great there were some studies that showed increase in sperm count after men eating canned tomato soup every day for 2 weeks.

I totally broke down last night, after everything we have been through I could not believe it he came home and I could smell he'd been drinking beer, this is so upsetting! he also refused to BD (which usually happens when he is not sober). I made him BD in the end but neither of us was in the mood and we are not on speaking terms. I just do not think I can take it any more, these ups and downs are unbearable and so damaging to my health and our relationship. how can he not see what he is doing?

 

[Jax41]

Viccat, that's great there were some studies that showed increase in sperm count after men eating canned tomato soup every day for 2 weeks.

I totally broke down last night, after everything we have been through I could not believe it he came home and I could smell he'd been drinking beer, this is so upsetting! he also refused to BD (which usually happens when he is not sober). I made him BD in the end but neither of us was in the mood and we are not on speaking terms. I just do not think I can take it any more, these ups and downs are unbearable and so damaging to my health and our relationship. how can he not see what he is doing?

Briss I could absolutely scream and sob with you. Listen, you sound a great planner, how about just finding out about the assisted routes available to you and when you've got all the facts and figures you can sit down, present the options to him and then move forward, dare I say it with or without him. I'm so worried for you about your relationship and all the stress. It's going to be stressful enough as it is once you are preg and then parents, you need to at least take one factor out of the equation here at least i.e. TTC

Big hugs and lots of luv xXx

 

[Briss]

Jax, thank you for your support! I really do not know, he swears he only had half pint (which in the scheme of things is not that bad) but still after we talked about it, all his promises and then he knows that I am barely holding up (after TTC for nearly 3 years) hoping that he can improve his count. cant forgive him yet

 

[Electricat]

With the amount of vits you've got him on they should be coming out with pompoms, gosh I so hope so. But surely he can see it would make life so much easier for you both? You're right v frustrating to say the least

lol

 

[Jax41]

Jax, thank you for your support! I really do not know, he swears he only had half pint (which in the scheme of things is not that bad) but still after we talked about it, all his promises and then he knows that I am barely holding up (after TTC for nearly 3 years) hoping that he can improve his count. cant forgive him yet

Always here for you and I do know how you feel, majority of the time the broken promises cut me deeper than no baby and I've only just recently told DH this, I think he was quite shocked, esp as I went onto say that I then think to myself do I really want to be with someone who doesn't seem to care, who can mess with my emotions, my future, my baby years like this....

I hope you've managed to have an okay weekend together and also that yesterday wasn't too hard for you

 

[viccat]

Always here for you and I do know how you feel, majority of the time the broken promises cut me deeper than no baby

This +1, although so far for me, the only broken promise is extra BD.

I used to date someone who reverted to smoking while we were together. I explained how much I hated it, so he said "no problem, I stopped before, and it's not as important to me as you are. I'll quit." ....... then continued to smoke and lie that he was doing it!

As Jax said, the broken promise was the worst thing about it all

AFM - we have a week off before Easter, and I will make sure we go to the doctors that week. It's time I made my actions match my words! Plus, I have reset my CBFM which I had stopped using, and got the sticks to pee on. Back in the TTC saddle for me!

 

[Jax41]

Viccat, for the broken promises they really do suck as our US ladies put it, but for getting back in the TTC saddle

C'mon you can do this!!

 

[Briss]

Jax, thanks for your support! means a lot to me! We managed to BD twice and one more time this morning although it's probably too late now. It was really difficult to get him going, had yet another argument. I think he is also getting tired of this TTC business although he's been in it for less longer than I have. On the positive side, he continues with supplements and exercises, but it's still requires a lot on my part to get it all ready for him and approach him with it at the right time etc. In the end we sort of made up, He's made real progress over the last few months from drinking 5-6 pints a day to 1 pint a month. and his commitment to TTC from about 20% to 60% (my rough estimate) so overall I think we are still on the right track

 

[Suzy_Q]

Ahh!!! So much going on and I'm an anxious mess. I'm getting injectables versus clomid. I'm terrified of giving myself shots, am nauseous that I have to use a donor and I don't know what this means for my relationship but am proud that regardless of all this fear and the unknown, I'm brave enough to take a deep breath and move forward.

I'm so glad I'm moving forward and have this opportunity. I will be jealous of all you ladies who will be able to see their OH in the eyes of their children but life has never really been about what is fair. I wish you all the best and just wanted to "close" the chapter on this issue and my TTC journey.

to everyone of you and I wish you all the best!

 

[Jax41]

Jax, thanks for your support! means a lot to me! We managed to BD twice and one more time this morning although it's probably too late now. It was really difficult to get him going, had yet another argument. I think he is also getting tired of this TTC business although he's been in it for less longer than I have. On the positive side, he continues with supplements and exercises, but it's still requires a lot on my part to get it all ready for him and approach him with it at the right time etc. In the end we sort of made up, He's made real progress over the last few months from drinking 5-6 pints a day to 1 pint a month. and his commitment to TTC from about 20% to 60% (my rough estimate) so overall I think we are still on the right track

Hey anytime, you're a special lady and you so deserve your BFP Well done for all the BDs buddy, don't know how you manage it when you feel like lynching him! When you lay out all the positives like that then things do look like they're going in the right direction for you and its encouraging to see DH making changes, that at least surely shows that he does care and understand in his own way. For all the little improvements mine has made he still point blank refuses to take any supplements whatsoever - so I've given up can't win that battle, the war's more important

You never know DH may call time on the TTC business and say I agree this is too much lets go assisted I can't do this anymore so don't lose your war either, try and keep going

 

[Briss]

re BD it's actually quite funny but around O my sex drive is so high and it's like something clicks in my head that makes me see things differently i.e. people who I know to be revolting under normal circumstances suddenly become so attractive. I never make important decisions before O because I know what's gonna influence my choice… so even when I am totally mad at hubby I can still BD all day long if only he let me, that is. But after O my senses come back and I can see things clearly

How's your DH's SA? if it's normal then may be he does not really need to take supplements?

 

[viccat]

re BD it's actually quite funny but around O my sex drive is so high and it's like something clicks in my head that makes me see things differently i.e. people who I know to be revolting under normal circumstances suddenly become so attractive. I never make important decisions before O because I know what's gonna influence my choice… so even when I am totally mad at hubby I can still BD all day long if only he let me, that is. But after O my senses come back and I can see things clearly

Hahhahaha beautifully put - I am exactly the same! Heaven help the genuine hotty who crosses my path that particular week each month. Even the fat old finance director looks enticing.....

 

[Jax41]

re BD it's actually quite funny but around O my sex drive is so high and it's like something clicks in my head that makes me see things differently i.e. people who I know to be revolting under normal circumstances suddenly become so attractive. I never make important decisions before O because I know what's gonna influence my choice… so even when I am totally mad at hubby I can still BD all day long if only he let me, that is. But after O my senses come back and I can see things clearly

How's your DH's SA? if it's normal then may be he does not really need to take supplements?

A complete sex pest then Just kidding That's great though that you can forget the angst and still DTD

My DH had two SA's done last May and July respectively, first was okay although morph was a bit low and the second was worse . His Dr didn't seem fazed by it all, my Dr was jumping from one foot to another and insisting he see a Urologist. I know he's older, his diet's a bit rubbish, drinks more than he should but he's got 3 kids from first time round (and they had a few mc's too) so I couldn't quite believe that it was all him and not me so I literally went on my knees to my Dr for a referral and the FS that we saw said the SAs were okay, they could be better but he'd seen far worse and couples still get results. I seriously think our issue is just timing and the run up to O that we don't do it enough when we need to so I'm going to join you on the sex pest mission this cycle and see what happens