Lack of intimacy & dtd

[Briss]

Thanks Briss for your info..my OH is a lazy sod & although he has free weights at home he doesn't use them. He thinks because he walks around (to the tube station & back) that it's enough exercise for him!

I'll have a look at the other supplements you mentioned, do you use any brand in particular especially for the Arginine?

that's what I buy https://www.highernature.co.uk:80/ShowProductFamily.aspx?ProductFamilyID=284 it's not cheap though I also take it in TWW but in smaller doses

 

[Briss]

lexus, Horny Goat Weed is supposed to be good too. My DH's been taking it on and off - he says he doesn't really feel any effects (although he did reveal he masturbates in the morning sometimes), but people give it good reviews online.

where do you buy Horny Goat Weed? I do not think the one I currently have is working. I know it sounds strange but I really want my DH to masturbate... any way to get the sperm moving in tww

 

[Zeri]

Yeah, I hear you, Briss. I was kind of happy when I found out he was masturbating (at least he still has a drive! and good to keep the sperm healthy too), but I don't want him doing it in my fertile time and wasting the spermies! Anwyay, I order mine from a local grocery store where I live (in the Caribbean). It's the Puritan's Pride brand I think it's sold online as well.

 

[Briss]

Zeri, thanks! I've heard of Puritan's Pride but have not tried it before, will order some off amazon once we run out.

 

[charm2mama]

lexus, I also think my DH has low T levels but the trick is not to inject synthetic Testosterone but to make his body produce his own. for this, i am giving him tribulis and horny goat weed, my DH started to lift weight to build some muscles - the idea is that muscle requires a lot of T so the body is forced to produce more and more. another option is to have more sex but that's somehow off the table

Briss, so can synthetic T harm semen quality even if the man has issues with low T? I would really like SO to get his T checked to see if we can improve his semen quality as well as his sex drive I've read some about using clomid for men.

I had not seend SO for a little over a month because we were both traveling. I was so upset/hurt when he showed no interest in bding the first night we were "reunited" and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Granted he was jet lagged and totally tired...but still. We did make up for it last night but it was a bit demoralizing the first night together. AND he said he forgot to take his supplements when he was gone. Absolutely boo!! Now I'm just waiting for the right time to have the "get serious again about the ttc" talk

 

[Briss]

Charm, I've been talking to a guy who gives a lot of online advice on sperm issues and he suspected that my DH's low sperm count is a result of low T levels. One of the reasons being - too much beer! apparently beer has this effect on T levels. the advice was absolutely no alcohol. unfortunately my DH cant quite manage to stay away from it but that's a whole different venting point... he also recommended various things to increase T levels which in turn will increase sperm count. i thought the easiest solution is to just start taking testosterone but it appears that lots of studies showed that this can affect the sperm and ultimately decrease his own production of T. the best way is to make his body produce more.

My DH did not actually check his T level but I can tell it's low. I just do not know if it's low or terribly low

I have heard of clomid and people have great results with it. Our problem is that my FS did not refer us to urologist and only urologist can prescribe it.

 

[Zeri]

Charm, I've been talking to a guy who gives a lot of online advice on sperm issues and he suspected that my DH's low sperm count is a result of low T levels. One of the reasons being - too much beer! apparently beer has this effect on T levels. the advice was absolutely no alcohol. unfortunately my DH cant quite manage to stay away from it but that's a whole different venting point... he also recommended various things to increase T levels which in turn will increase sperm count. i thought the easiest solution is to just start taking testosterone but it appears that lots of studies showed that this can affect the sperm and ultimately decrease his own production of T. the best way is to make his body produce more.

My DH did not actually check his T level but I can tell it's low. I just do not know if it's low or terribly low

I have heard of clomid and people have great results with it. Our problem is that my FS did not refer us to urologist and only urologist can prescribe it.

Curious about what he recommended to increase T levels...do you mean like the supplements we've been talking about?

 

[Briss]

I am going to copy his advice here cos I think it's useful not just for my DH:

re beer and T levels: "No beer at all and I'll explain. Sperm is based on amount of free Testosterone in the testes. Beer while tasty contains what are known as phytoestrogens compounds or plant estrogen which binds the T up. What you need is an extract to raise his T levels up and HornyGoat weed or Tribulis fits the bill. As a man ages his level of T naturally drops and this is the reason possibly for the cause of the drop. Of all the stuff he's taking only Vitamin E has any effect on T levels." "Leave the vitamin E in. It is your morphing vitamin as it prevents or minimizes when used with vitamin C radical attack. Bee pollen especially from grasses has been successfully used by the Swedes as a cure but better put arresting agent against prostate conditions as Prostatitis. Vitamin D has no effect on T levels but is needed to form good DNA in the sperm when the DNA is split. It also is needed for Calcium absorption and the sperm move because of ion engines and the ion is Calcium and Potassium. Fat on a man or woman is an estrogen reservoir meaning it bounds up T. The leaner a man is the better for sperm production. To improve his semen in quality have him drink tomato juice or eat tomato soup everyday.
Now the Goat weed is fine and in the amount 1 capsule/day. Now Tribulis is normally around 650-750 mg/day of standardized extract. The weed grows wild all over the world but the amount of extract varies as to where it was grown so they standardize the amount involved. Another way is to have your husband exercise but only his upper body like shoulders and arms. This will increase T levels also. Going the total route lowers T levels as T is used for muscle repair.
As long as he takes that Zinc and Folic acid his count will increase no matter what he is doing as to diet.
You can leave out the pollen and jelly if you want to."

re BD strategy with low sperm count: "The bedding method is very simple. Every other day during the window with the following modifications. Get some Preseed and use it and keep him hard for at least 30 minutes before he goes boom. Preseed is to protect what you are given, increasing chance of success and the length of arousal increases up to 270% the amount of sperm given to you because of pumping up as compared to the S/A results. So we are increasing the odds of success by the amount given. The long foreplay period also increases the chance of you hitting the clouds which has been shown to help in the process of conception."

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Zeri]

Awesome Briss! Thanks for copying that! That was extremely helpful! Sounds like that guy knows a lot and is really happy to give the advice too. I'm happy to see him mention the Horny Goat Weed and tomato soup (DH likes that). Very interesting about the beer too...I don't think most men know they're hurting their testosterone/sperm by doing that!! Also, I'd read about fat being an estrogen reservoir and I believe it's true... DH has a pot belly and I believe it's sucking a lot of the mojo out of him... He also said when he exercises his mojo is a lot stronger/erections are harder... he jogs, though, so although the total body route wasn't recommended by your friend it definitely works in his case. I had read that exercising large muscle groups - legs, arms etc - helps with blood circulation which improves erections. Zinc is great for T too. It sounds like your DH is on most of the good stuff, so fx it's having an effect somewhere!

Interesting about the Preseed too. I've been thinking of getting some... Going to look it up on Amazon right now. It totally makes sense that that would help.

 

[Briss]

twiggers, i hear you, cos my DH does not really have that much of a sex drive getting him hard is a tough job, I do not even know what I can do (apart from blowing him which is not recommended during fertile window as it damages sperm), i usually wear sexy underwear and stocking etc, and he sees me naked every day, I guess he is so used to it that it does not excite him any more he recently suggested that I buy granny style large white cotton pants from M&S... pervert and yes, as soon he gets remotely hard we just press on, no time to wait and "keeping him hard for at least 30 minutes" is a great advice but it's just not going to work, in 30 min he will simply lose interest and go soft... I really need him to come and quite often it does not happen

 

[Briss]

Zeri, we have tried pre seed a few times but so far it did not make a difference for us and my DH hates it cos I have a lot of my own CM and adding more just makes it so wet that DH cant feel much. I still use it at least once a month (hiding it from DH) because pre-seed can change PH balance in your vagina, mine can be quite acidic I think because of all the chocolate I eat (although I did a check with PH sticks and it showed normal levels).

The expert's name is RIch and you can ask him any question on https://www.fertilichat.com/forumdisplay.php?13-Male-Infertility it may take a while for him to respond but he always does. I got more advice from him that our FS, who as I said would not even refer us to urologist!

Last week i managed to drag my DH to repeat his test. only to find out that they changed the rules and now require prior appointment! so disappointing, cos it took me 2 months to persuade him to come... now the first available appointment is mid February, just checked that it will be my O date so no way I am wasting his sperm on that, will have to change it.

The facts that after all these vitamins for 6 months I am still not pregnant makes me think that there might be a bigger problem or that the fact that he still drinks beer (much less than before but still) just makes it all a waste...

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[charm2mama]

30 minutes? Wow, how does anyone ever get pregnant?!

Briss, thanks for the information. I guess we can only do the best we can.

For the preseed, I'm wondering if we could use it after sex with softcup. I've never used preseed but have been thinking about it. But during sex would get too messy. If it helps sperm to swim to the right place, then maybe it would also help after dtd?

 

[Briss]

i know some women on B&B got pregnant by putting a bit of preseed into a softcup and then getting their DH to "deposit" their semen into it then placed it all in for a few hours. I personally cannot imagine doing that cos i do not see softcups as a vagina/cervix friendly device.

My DH can sometime last quite a while but our problem is that he does not come, he sort of does it for me so I have sex (usually after I threaten to get out naked and have sex with anyone who will have me..., yes, I can get that desperate) so he can get a hard on but not aroused enough to come. and it's not age related he was like that in his 20 but back then it did not seem like a problem as we were not planning a family yet

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Jax41]

Hi Girls so thankful that I'm now in the TWW....phew...thought I'd try and keep the momentum going though but nothing over the weekend never mind not as critical but it would've been a nice.

Briss, thanks very interesting reading from your chap, particularly regarding the beer which unfortunately mine is a huge fan of as well, has been all his life so apart from telling him to stop bc his wasteline is expanding, which he hates, I don't think he will buy the other reason I also splashed out on some really good men pre-concep supps and so far he has turned his nose up, but I'm going to call his bluff, if you can't reduce your beer then take them!!!!

Twiggers, Briss, I'm sure there's a thread on either the assisted or LTTTC boards about home IUI have you ever thought of trying it? This one girl was going to give it a whirl, to save costs, and there others that commented on it about the success they'd had. They said as long as everything was sterile they could see no problem. Just a thought...

Charm2, I've read about girls inserting softcups after DTD to keep the swimmers in place. Maybe it's worth a try

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Zeri]

It's great that we can all support each other on this thread. I wish we didn't have these issues to deal with, but at least we know that we're not alone!

Jax, what day did you get some BD in? Hope you get some good results in the next week and a half!

viccat - thanks for your suggestion earlier. That's a great idea - will try to keep it in mind.

Was wondering if anybody wanted to add any BD plans of their own as well? So far I'm trying to do everything on my list... will see if it works soon!

twiggers - ugh!! It's sucks that it has to be so much work, doesn't it? Did he have the issues even with the Viagra?

Briss - thanks for the link to the fertility guy and for sharing your experience on the preseed. I was wondering about whether it would lessen the sensation or what - ? Hmmm..still thinking about it. I empathize with you about the flagging erections - DH takes a while to come and sometimes he loses his erection before he gets to that point, which is frustrating. I usually just fake an orgasm a few minutes into intercourse.. so that he can just focus on trying to come. It's interesting that your DH has been like that since his 20's. I guess if he's not coming regularly with intercourse it lessens the incentive for him to have sex. ? Is there a medical reason for him (like delayed/retrograde ejaculation) not being able to come? It sounds strange that he would struggle with that in his 20's... It sucks that we have to do so much work to get them to do something that should and does come naturally to most men. Really frustrating. I'm sorry your sperm appt. got changed. It would really be interesting to see if his numbers have changed with all of the supplements he's taking. I should think they must be having a positive effect somewhere. Where are you in your cycle now and how much BD did you get in?

 

[Jax41]

Hi Zeri, well I'm having to eat humble pie this cycle as actually he's been quite good 3 BD's in the space of 48 hours (CDs 11 & 12), but that was only bc I threw a massive hissy fit as we'd not done it at all since I'd stopped AF and also it was at the weekend, probably didn't do the swimmers any good but I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity and CD15 (a midweek one which is unheard of) I got a strong +OPK but I didn't tell him that, but nothing since but then I have to be honest I've not pinned him against the wall and threatened him