Lack of intimacy & dtd

[viccat]

Jax41 - really pleased to hear that you've had such a good month.

I'm in the TWW - and keeping my fingers crossed, as we just DTD once this month. Not holding out much hope to be honest, and think they next step is doctors to get us both checked over.

 

[Briss]

Zeri, we BD twice during the fertile window which is OK I guess, My AF is due end of this week. I am not really sure what's the issue with my DH, he just does not seem to enjoy sex, he sees it more like a duty he owes to me I do not know if you ever watched TV series "Big band theory" there is a super smart character there called Sheldon who has no sex drive at all and the idea of having sex seems repulsive to him – that would be my DH… why me?

 

[lexus15]

Briss your a star with the info you are sharing if as women we can keep informed then we are in a better position to help us achieve our bfp's (fx!).

What you said re your hubby rings true with my OH. I have diaries that I wrote 15 years ago about the lack of sex between us, in hindsight I should have paid more attention & addressed the problem then I think I thought OH would have improved & that I would eventually have had baby #2, however that isn't the case & because of him it looks like we have to try Ivf. What gets me is that he'll come to the fs appointments, listen to the dr's about dtd often etc but then not implement any of it.

No tww for me as I've had no sex since last month & even then it was only once in Dec..not good

Good luck ladies in your tww, I hope to be reading some good news very soon

 

[lexus15]

Yeah, I hear you, Briss. I was kind of happy when I found out he was masturbating (at least he still has a drive! and good to keep the sperm healthy too), but I don't want him doing it in my fertile time and wasting the spermies! Anwyay, I order mine from a local grocery store where I live (in the Caribbean). It's the Puritan's Pride brand I think it's sold online as well.

I wish my OH would masturbate! He doesn't 'believe' in it & doesn't like porn (so HE says!)..only God & mother nature knows how he's going to produce if we go ahead with ivf in the next several months When we tried iui, we had to dtd with him pulling out before he came, that's how bad he is!

 

[lexus15]

lexus, Horny Goat Weed is supposed to be good too. My DH's been taking it on and off - he says he doesn't really feel any effects (although he did reveal he masturbates in the morning sometimes), but people give it good reviews online.

Thanks Zeri, looks like OH will be trying this & Arginine with his dinner after I sneak them in..somehow!

 

[viccat]

I wish my OH would masturbate! He doesn't 'believe' in it & doesn't like porn (so HE says!)..only God & mother nature knows how he's going to produce if we go ahead with ivf in the next several months When we tried iui, we had to dtd with him pulling out before he came, that's how bad he is!

I have wondered this too! My OH says he doesn't masturbate, and doesn't like porn. I'm really open minded and like porn myself, so there is no reason to lie. Everything I've experienced suggests he is telling the truth. Not sure how he's even going to do the tests at the doctors??!

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Briss]

TMI warning: whenever we have to do DH's sperm test, it's a torture! I have to go with him to the room. the whole experience is just awful. other men come on their own or if they come with their ladies they leave them in the waiting area, 10 min and they are done, we spend there about an hour!!! I usually have to blow him but because saliva damages the sperm we have to use one those special condoms that have no lub in them, they are completely dry, can you imagine that in your mouth for 40 min! it really hurts! and it did not even work the second time I had to force him to go through magazines. I felt so embarrassed when we got out cos obviously we created quite a queue

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[charm2mama]

Are we all dating the same man?!?!? My SO also says he does not masturbate and we collected the sperm at home with the sperm friendly condom. I thought he was the only man in the world that does not masturbate. He even actually cannot handle a BJ most of the time. I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with him. Not that I miss the jaw pain or anything. Hopefully he will get over the not masturbating part...if we end up going to any treatment I don't think it will work to collect at home...

 

[Briss]

Are we all dating the same man?!?!? ...

LOL I've been thinking the same thing

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Jax41]

What gets me is that he'll come to the fs appointments, listen to the dr's about dtd often etc but then not implement any of it.

Lexus, welcome to my world

 

[Zeri]

twiggers - how frustrating that he masturbated during your fertile period! Does he know that that's a no-no during that time, or do you avoid telling him when you're fertile? It's good that he still has a sex drive, though... and at least he was 'up' for it in the morning!

Briss - that's hilarious about 'creating a queue!' I couldn't help laughing when you said that... I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, though... Ugh, blowing a dry condom for an hour does NOT sound like fun!! The things that we do for ttc!! It really is a lot of work. That's why I wish we could all get pregnant so that we could take a break from all of this stress.

DH and haven't Bded for about 3 weeks. I'm hoping he would be up for a weekday BDing sometime this week. He's usually tired in the evenings...but restricting BD to the weekends just isn't going to work right now. I think I'll probably O sometime during next week so he's to get into the practice now.

 

[Jax41]

Briss that situation can't be easy at all. This might be a suggestion coming out of my a** but would your DH consider hypnotherapy to get over his feelings or lack of feelings about sex?

Twiggers, so glad you got one in the end

Zeri, this is exactly the same problem that we have no weekday BDs . I've told DH we have to do it at least once, gotta keep 'em fresh

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Briss]

I am trying to get my DH to go for acupuncture but he considers it a type of voodoo along with hypnotherapy. He is trying though to build some muscles which should help with T levels and ultimately sex drive and most importantly sperm count, it's just taking so long

 

[Jax41]

I am trying to get my DH to go for acupuncture but he considers it a type of voodoo along with hypnotherapy. He is trying though to build some muscles which should help with T levels and ultimately sex drive and most importantly sperm count, it's just taking so long

Have to say even though I wrote it I know that my DH would have the exact same feelings - he won't even take supplements bc of that very reason ARRGGHHH!!!

 

[Jax41]

Twiggers, I get the 'have fun' and we're not 25 anymore thang too A friend of my Mum's her daughter (who is the same age as me) is in a new relationship, about 3 years and clearly they're still at it like rabbits as he she had a first LO last year. Mum asked me why's it not like that for you? Err, my DH is older (he has 15 years on the other guy) and we've been together 14 years, we've gone past the first flush unfortunately!!

Have to say our average per month is 3 and that's if I push it otherwise we could go without for months....and months....and months....

 

[Zeri]

Been checking out you guys' charts.

Briss - are you planning to test anytime soon? Any strange symptoms?

twiggers - A BD right on O day! Great timing!

Jax - are you at 3 dpo right now?

AFM - CD6. Boring-land. I was planning to initiate BD with Dh last night but we had an argument in the evening and I didn't really feel like it afterwards. Plus, while checking the Ipod I saw some porn pages up...so I think he probably masturbated in the morning (he works nights). Wasn't sure what to feel about that. I'm glad he still has a drive, but I hope when it's time for us to BD he's able to... I'm feeling like he might be getting so used to the solo-action that he might be losing interest in the real thing, ykwim? Sigh...we'll see!

Is anyone here taking Maca for sex drive? Do you find you build up a tolerance to it as time goes by? I've been taking it for a week and a half and I'm not feeling any different yet. Seemed like it had kicked in more quickly before.