Lack of intimacy & dtd

[Jax41]

Hey girls, you all okay?

So I'm onto Clomid cycle 2 - AF got me bang on time (bloody hell! ) so here we go again for more pill popping and chasing my errant husband round the bedroom - I told him to watch out, I got that eyes roll to heaven look (know what I mean?) so I said just do it properly okay for the next 5 cycles and then I'll leave you a lone - wish me luck!

 

[Briss]

Hi ladies, how's everyone is doing these days?

This cycle was particularly hard, after AF hit me I could not quite bounce back for some time and then I just reached that point where I realised that my DH is holding me back and I might be better off doing it along. So we had that talk with DH and I think he finally realised how important having children is for me and that I am very determined. Basically, he finally agreed to give up beer!!! for 3 month to improve his sperm count and commit to TTC! which means he will take vitamins without complaining, eat properly, no alcohol, blood/sperm tests when asked and obviously BD when required! Happy to report we already BD twice this cycle and I did not have to beg. I am beginning to feel hopeful again

 

[Jax41]

Oh Briss!! That is absolutely wonderful news, I'm so happy for you buddy! When I have those chats with my DH it feels like I've got a BFP already Your DH'd better keep his word or else there'll be trouble!

 

[Briss]

Jax, thanks! we had these chats before and this is not the first time when I am threatening to leave him but this time I said it not in the heat of the moment during an argument but very calmly setting out my thoughts quite logically, with almost no emotions and in friendly sort of way so he probably realised that I am serious this time and I thought this through. I am just so happy now because obviously it's all very well to say I am going to be a single mother but if possible I would prefer my child to have a farther. It also means that we are putting off IVF again for a few months but I think It's worth it cos this is the first time he will be completely alcohol free so I am hoping this will make all the difference in the world

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Briss]

Twiggers, that's the thing it's very difficult to say cos there are so many examples where men drink a lot and yet produce children but I think in our case it's the main issue cos it's beer and it affect testosterone levels which are somehow naturally low in my DH

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Jax41]

Briss - your approach was probably bang on (no tears or tantrums, boys just don't deal with it do they? Well mine certainly doesn't...) and yep made he realise that this is it. Well done you. I just really, really do hope that it all works out for you now. I've had those thoughts too about being a single Mum and no it's not what I'd want either but if your need to be one is stronger than being without then I guess that's the way it has to be

Twiggers - can I ask you something really personal and if you don't want to reply I understand? I've noticed from your signature that your DH has two and you have none. That's the same for me, my DH has 3 + a grand-daughter now (that one really hurt!) and I'm really trying hard not to resent the fact that he has kids and I don't, and moreso that he doesn't appear to try and take it seriously enough and help me become a Mum and share that with him. D'you know what I mean? Do you feel that way too? Thanks

 

[Jax41]

...and whilst we're talking booze....it's my DH's downfall too, always has been but I guess in his 20s when he was young and virile it didn't affect his swimmers as much as it may now I've asked him, for his general health to stop during the week, but then the weasil just seems to make up for it at the weekend He confesses sometimes it can get out of hand ('I don't want to be that fat saddo at the bar' - well you are!) but he says he enjoys it, helps him relax and unwind after work... I don't think he would ever go teetotal

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Jax41]

Thanks Twiggers spooky that our DH's kids both have the same ages as well

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[lexus15]

Hello ladies, i'm glad to hear that everyone is remaining positive this cycle & still trying with those stubborn OH/hubbies of ours! I'm not on cycle day 11, getting ewcm but no bedding so far!

I'm obviously not happy with this but I'm not getting upset like the previous months (not yet anyway!), hopefully with a little persuasion we will dtd as I could do with a good nookie session!!

 

[lexus15]

Hi ladies, how's everyone is doing these days?

This cycle was particularly hard, after AF hit me I could not quite bounce back for some time and then I just reached that point where I realised that my DH is holding me back and I might be better off doing it along. So we had that talk with DH and I think he finally realised how important having children is for me and that I am very determined. Basically, he finally agreed to give up beer!!! for 3 month to improve his sperm count and commit to TTC! which means he will take vitamins without complaining, eat properly, no alcohol, blood/sperm tests when asked and obviously BD when required! Happy to report we already BD twice this cycle and I did not have to beg. I am beginning to feel hopeful again

That's great Briss that he's willing to try harder & also give up the booze, have finally ordered a few of the supplements that you suggested before & I will be adding them to his dinner so hopefully I won't need to beg for bed either!

 

[Briss]

Lexus, good luck with the supplements! I hope you will get a few BD sessions before you O, fingers crossed!

Happy Valentine's day to all you lovely ladies!

I think I O yesterday or maybe today but I do not have much hope for this cycle. although we BD enough my hubby was fasting (one more reason for my despair) and I do not expect it did any good to his sperm count which is super low anyway but hopefully he will start eating properly from next week and with no alcohol I am really beginning to raise my hopes for the next few cycles.

 

[Jax41]

His son's birthday is today (turned 23). I guess I do get a little sad that he has the granddaughter and stuff. She's 17 months old now and we Skype with her a lot.

I didn't do very good at all when DH's DS said he and his gf were preg and DH had the worst guilt complex going, we fell out big time and ignored each other for 2 weeks, unheard of for us.... She's 2yrs and 5 months now and really cute, but we don't see a lot of her even though they live close by, they are full time with DH's ex and gf family. It all just rammed home to me that I'd left it all too late

Never mind, not a lot either of us can do about it can we but get on TTCing and get preg ourselves

 

[Jax41]

Okay so my plan for this cycle is that I'm really not going to have a mini meltdown again over O time again which is next week. It just does me and my eggy no good I don't temp but I do OPK and I've not bought any. I'm off on holiday next week and although DH isn't hopefully he will have a better week work wise. I've not seen him all week, late, late nights.... Did say good job I don't need you for baby making duty, he laughed! His boss is completely in love with his business and although his marriage is down the pan he doesn't seem to think ours isn't

I will be at home, dinner ready on time, no eve's out all chilled and ready to go when he fancies it

 

[Jax41]

Hello ladies, i'm glad to hear that everyone is remaining positive this cycle & still trying with those stubborn OH/hubbies of ours! I'm not on cycle day 11, getting ewcm but no bedding so far!

I'm obviously not happy with this but I'm not getting upset like the previous months (not yet anyway!), hopefully with a little persuasion we will dtd as I could do with a good nookie session!!

Lexus, I know that feeling!

 

[Jax41]

Lexus, good luck with the supplements! I hope you will get a few BD sessions before you O, fingers crossed!

Happy Valentine's day to all you lovely ladies!

I think I O yesterday or maybe today but I do not have much hope for this cycle. although we BD enough my hubby was fasting (one more reason for my despair) and I do not expect it did any good to his sperm count which is super low anyway but hopefully he will start eating properly from next week and with no alcohol I am really beginning to raise my hopes for the next few cycles.

Thank you Briss Happy VD to you too!!

Reading your post I think you can take some positives from this cycle as it sounds like DH is getting himself ready for proper TTCing i.e getting healthy and you've BD'd more than you usually do - that's a great sign! Things can only get better for hun, I'm getting super excited for you!!

 

[twiggers]

x