Lack of intimacy & dtd

[Briss]

I am still giving Chinese medicine a go while hubby is coming to terms with IVF. I need him to be in agreement before we embark on this journey, I think we've tried more or less everything we could naturally

 

[nobump]

Just feel like screaming. Weekend away. BD count 0. What do I need to do. With family have been touring around London no stop. And it's a bit hot but come on. What do I need to do. Not a happy bunny. Arghh!

 

[Briss]

nobump, very sorry about no BD, so frustrating

AF got me yesterday so am going through very hard time, crying non stop and rethinking my whole life, usual for the first few days, hoping it will get better soon.

 

[nobump]

Thanks Briss feel better after a moan. On a stifling hot train for the next 4 hours.

AF is always a killer. Nothing worse than knowing it's not work again. But it's the start of a new cycle. Chin up

 

[viccat]

AF got me yesterday so am going through very hard time, crying non stop and rethinking my whole life, usual for the first few days, hoping it will get better soon.

Awww Briss I know there is nothing I can say that will take the awful feeling away those first few days when AF hits. If it is any comfort, at least I have an idea of how you feel...

 

[nobump]

Yeah no TWW here just count down to AF. Not due til Friday. Hate this time of the cycle. Their is nothing else you can do but wait and then she appears and slaps you in the face.

 

[Juniperjules]

No bump, : ( really sucks when there's no BD, I had the same in May, made me feel kind of panicked bcos I felt like i was losing a month. It'll feel crappy now, but next month you'll forget it happened.. Mind you, it does make u more determined to make certain u get some BD the following month.

Briss, the day AF arrives is so incredibly tough. No matter how realistic we try to be & convince ourselves that 'symptoms' mean nothing, there's always that little voice in ur head saying 'maybe' there's a chance. It really hurts. It's such a blow to ur optimism.

AFM, about to Ov in a day or 2 here.. OH knows & is up for it. Gonna try using softcups & preseed this month. OH's SA was great, but I always feel his volume isn't fab. Maybe preseed will help?? Dunno but worth a try?

 

[viccat]

Juniper - I am keeping my fingers crossed for you with the BD'ing Get yer sexy nightie out!

AFM - Today is the day - first appointment with the FS. Feeling nervous but excited too. Not a clue what will happen, but I am hopeful

 

[Juniperjules]

Oooh!!! Viccat!!! How exciting!! Your first FS appt!! Remind me is OH going too?? Its a bit nervewracking, but i know it makes me feel like its not all just being left up to chance once a specialist is involved. And remember, it doesnt mean you HAVE to do anything, just that now youll have more opinions & options to choose from!

Will be waiting to hear how it goes.... Good Luck!

 

[Briss]

Viccat, good luck with your appointment! keep us posted.

afm, did my bloods today, now anxiously waiting for the results, my next app with FS on Thursday if FSH got down I will get my IVF referral but if it's still high not even sure what our options are.

 

[Zeri]

nobump - sorry to hear you didn't get any BD in. I hate when that happens- it's like you have nothing to hope for in the tww..nothing to do but wait for AF to show. I hope your next cycle is better.

viccat - hope your appt goes well!

Juniper - Preseed and Softcups should help get all of DH's swimmers to where they need to go. Good luck!!

Briss - sorry about AF coming... I so know how you feel. HOpefully you won't have many more AF cycles, with your IVF journey coming up soon. HUGS!!!

My tww is over as well. AF showed up Saturday in the middle of getting ready for my best friend's wedding - I was the matron of a honour so was really busy making last minute preparations, so it was quite a joy to have my period show up on that day too. :- I guess I really did ovulate that first time I thought I did -and not when I had the ewcm a few days ago. URGHH!! this cycle was so confusing becaue I didn't have enought opks. And it was a Clomid cycle too. What a waste. So on to the next! I'm going to have to talk to DH seriously about BD. I can't afford to be wasting Clomid cycles like this. I do notice that my AF is a lot heavier this cycle...I guess because of the Cliomid? I wonder if that means I had a better egg/higher progesterone? hmmm...

 

[viccat]

Awwww Zeri - sorry about AF. I hate the way our bodies does this to us!

AFM - wellllllllllll ....... the appointment was a lot of waiting about. We got OH's sperm results, which weren't great, but not totally disastrous. It seems he's got a lot of them which is good, but he could do with some more active swimmers and better shaped sperm. At least it gives us something to work with

They also did an ultrasound and it seems my womb and ovaries are all present and correct, and there was an obviously follicle ripening on my right ovary. The odd thing was that it measured 25mm which means I should be about to ovulate. But I'm only CD8 Maybe all this time, I've been hitting the wrong window? I do get a couple of noticeable LH surges a month, one of which is about now.

Anyways, OH got a bit of a hump on (as expected) and was ready to blow up, but I just couldn't face him telling me I had said the wrong thing, or the right thing but in the wrong way. He gets very like this when he finds stuff difficult, and usually I have to give him time to calm down. He is obviously upset and is not taking the "not great sperm result" badly, bless him We'll get there though....

Next steps are an HSG for me in 6 weeks time (NOT looking forward to that one, but I really want to cross everything off) and another sperm test for his nibs.

I'll give him a couple of days to calm down, and then push for a proper conversation about what happened, and get him onto some Wellman supplements too. He's pretty health conscious, so that shouldn't be difficult. I just cannot believe I didn't think to do it before now!

After that we return to the FS and he is recommending IVF. Not sure how I feel about all of the drugs and messing about with my body when it is actually pretty healthy. So I need to let that idea sit in my head for a bit.....

 

[viccat]

*sigh* OH is barely speaking after yesterday's appointment.

And I think I ovulated today.

I don't know whether I can face even trying to get him to DTD tonight

 

[Zeri]

Awww...viccat! Is he still upset about the results? do you think he'll come around to Bding later? If not, maybe you'd stand a better chance next cycle or so anyway, once he gets on some supplements/vitamins. It was next month you were thinking of doing IVF, right?

 

[viccat]

Hi Zeri - yes, he was still upset about the results - understandably.

He ended up working himself into a tizzy and then we FINALLY talked about it properly last night ........ way after we both should have been asleep. Bless him, he is definitely the emotional one of the two of us! At least we managed to talk it through and enjoy some black humour about his swimmers going around in circles.

I really feel like we cleared the air, plus I managed to persuade him to DTD, so feeling a happy bunny today

I'm not excited about the idea of IVF at the moment, so am trying to make the most of what opportunities remain naturally. I need to do some more research I think to understand what our probability is without IVF. Being realistic I don't think there is much to improve as the main issue is his morphology (only 2% normally shaped).

With that coupled to my age it seems like IVF is the only solution, but I dread messing my body about with all of the synthetic hormones

 

[viccat]

It's all gone quiet again - how is everyone doing?

 

[Juniperjules]

Hey Viccat, I'm here! It is quiet isn't it.. I'm in the dreaded tww now. We did 3 days in a row of BD (well our version!) tues, wed & thurs. got a +OPK on wed so Ov on Thursday I guess.

Wot about yourself??

 

[Briss]

sorry ladies, I've been quiet cos I got some very upsetting news and still trying to figure out how to deal with it. when I finally morally agreed to IVF, my FSH has gone up to 19!! so our FS said we are not eligible for IVF funding, and even though my DH's sperm improved it's still not enough for IUI. she sounded like it was too late now and I missed my boat with IVF. I am very upset because since last year I've made very dramatic lifestyle changes, was taking tones of vitamins, did yoga, had acu/herbs, gave up coffee etc and all of this just made things worse for me cos 19 is my worst FSH ever! I could not stop crying yesterday and got myself into a terrible state (was all shaking and vomiting non stop), had to leave work early and just stay in bed. I just do not know what to do anymore… I feel like I've tried everything… I probably need some counseling as to how I will live with myself if I do not have children because I just do not know how

 

[viccat]

Awww Briss - sorry to hear your bad news I am a bit puzzled about the response about eligibility - you are in the UK aren't you? If so, you might find the latest guidelines helpful - it's a bit heavy reading initially, but makes increasing sense to me as I learn about infertility treatments.

https://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/14078/62769/62769.pdf

Ooooo - I've just found this one as well. Definitely food for thought: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-...ntle-touch-2277983.html?origin=internalSearch

Juniper - 3 days in a row?! Check you out! Really pleased for you, hon Now just the TWW to get through!

AFM - One well timed BD this month, and I am mostly reading about fertility treatments. We're talking things over more, and OH is taking his Wellman supplements, so at least I feel like we're doing something. I am currently swinging between wild optimism and the occasional thought that actually, it might not be in my destiny to become a parent.

 

[Zeri]

Briss, I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. I can hear your pain. I'm confused about the link to FSH and IVF though....why is your number considered bad in relation to IVF? Can you not do IVF at all anymore - or is it just this FS who's hesitant? Sooo sorry. There must be something else you can do, though. I know you were hesitant about Clomid.... could that be an option for you and your DH? I read it can help increase sperm count...and it would also help increase your fertility. I know you have cysts but once you're monitored you might be ok?

Juniper - 3 BDs in a row... that's awesome! #jealous. Sounds like your chances are really great this month!

viccat - glad y'all were able to talk it out. I guess your OH just needed some time to process things. And yayy for having a chance this month!

AFM - just here hanging out at CD8....nothing much happening except I'm taking the Clomid again this month. I really need to talk to DH about BD too, so I don't waste another (Clomid) cycle. Sigh!! Really itching for another baby badly. My best friend got married last weekend and stayed at my house the week before. She has a little baby boy and he's just so gorgeous and cuddly and sweet. Plus my DD is becoming sweeter and sweeter as the days go by. Having a child is really a precious thing... it's my prayer that we all have our pregnancy dreams come true sometime soon!! We have to do all we can ladies, to make it happen..... I know we're all doing what we can, and it's hard... Let's not give up... it really is SO worth it...