Lack of sympothy of friend :-(

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Hayley_Shaw, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Hayley_Shaw

    Hayley_Shaw Newly pregnant with #3

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    Sorry this is a long one and a bit of a rant!

    31/10 was my 12 week scan where I found out I'd had a mmc at 4/5 weeks. Sunday 13/11 started with some spotting and is getting heavier by the day. I am due my 1st tablet tomorrow 16/11 and was hoping that I would have to go into hospital 2 days later as I would of perfered for it to happen in the privacy of my own home and also 1 of my so called friends works on that ward!:cry:

    So found out I'd had a mmc on the 8/11 as she saw me in hospital. No sorry for your loss or anything. She should understand more than anyone what it's like as she had a mc in May :growlmad: All she could say was "Oh well, mine was planned so we struggled more, besides you should be grateful you've had any kids." we never told anyone we we're ttc and was too upset to put her straight. She is now 20 weeks pregnant although not showing so makes it a little more bareable for now.

    She hasn't since mentioned the mmc and goes on to texting me about her babies progress and even sent me a scan picture yesterday on my phone telling me how mad she was that the baby wasn't in the right position so they couldn't tell the sex of the baby! All she does is moan about "losing her baby weight" and how "they are now going to have to wait to find out the sex of the baby, which is unfair as our other friend found out hers about a month ago!".:growlmad:

    To say she was so desperate for a baby she doesn't seem very happy, she's just constantly moaning about the weight she's put on and how much harder it is for her!

    Sorry I am just so mad right now. Some people can be so selfish. Her baby is due on my son's birthday which is like a kick in the teeth made even worst when she said she's " praying it doesn't fall then because there is no way her baby is sharing a birthday, it'll be their babies special day!":growlmad: We have decided to wttc number 3 till April so there will be time for me to get over this mmc and also so my son will be a little older when baby number 3 will be born. So we are looking forward to the future instead of the anger and hurt thats around us at the moment.:flower:
     
  2. Neversaynever

    Neversaynever Whatever.....

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    Sorry for your loss :hugs:

    All I can say is you really do find out who your real friends are at times like this :hugs: this one would be a good one to lose.

    :dust: for the future and :hugs:

    XxX
     
  3. TaraLynn

    TaraLynn mama to Kiernan & 1 angel

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    I am so sorry for all you are going through - its hard enough as it is, and then to find out who your true friends are and those that are not is even worse. You have a right to be mad and to vent and be upset... sometimes those we expect to be there for us during this time are not though. I've been going through a similar struggle with both a family member and friend. Its not fun. Lean on all of us ladies whenever you need =) Again, so sorry for your loss =(
     
  4. Pocketrocket

    Pocketrocket Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley, sorry for you loss. Some people are just not worth bothering with. Keep your head held high and one day you will hold your baby in your arms.

    I had a mc at 10 weeks at the beginning of October, one of my closest friends is also pregnant. I saw her last week and all she could do it moan about how she feels. I would give anything to be pregnant again even if it ment having the aches, pains and sickness that goes with it. Some people just dont know how lucky they are. Dont let her drag you down. Its so hard but I just keep on smiling even if i am feeling crushed inside. Hugs to you xx
     
  5. Hayley_Shaw

    Hayley_Shaw Newly pregnant with #3

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    Yes you sure do. :sad1:

    She even had the cheek to demand why I hadn't congratulated her on her engagement! It just so happened to be the day after I mmc'd :growlmad:

    It's not just me who have had it with this particular 'friend', another close friend who is 24 weeks pregnant is also fed up. She doesn't invite her to parties or to meet up because she wants to be the only pregnant person there because apparently at only 24 weeks, she's had her time in the limelight!

    Think we've all agreed to :ignore: this person, 1 less person to cause us misery. Still doesn't stop her texting and 'poping round' (she lives the other end of town, about 20 minutes away).

    She's causing problems between my husband and her partner (they used to be best friends until he met her). She spreads nasty lies around that we've said stuff to her but conviently deleted or forgotten what was said when we confront her. She was never like this before she got pregnant in April before she mc'd. She was even maid of honour at our wedding. Been seriously let down, feel so mad and hurt by her.:sad1:
     
  6. TaraLynn

    TaraLynn mama to Kiernan & 1 angel

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    WOW, no offense but she doesnt sound like someone you want to be a part of your life anyways! No loss on your end girl, you deserve a MUCH better friend. Especially if other people are annoyed by her and she is causing so many issues. Still sucks when you try to confide in someone about something so fragile and she completely disregards you... but to me it sounds like SHE is the one losing out on a good friend... not you!
     
  7. lisacn

    lisacn Well-Known Member

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    so sorry for your loss, its sad that at a time like this you find out who your friends are, cut her loose, you don't need the agro, you need friends who can support you. You friend will get a reality check sooner or later, we are here to listen big hugs x
     
  8. sapphire1

    sapphire1 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: So sorry for your loss. She doesn't sound like a real friend to me, I think I would break all ties with her. x x
     
  9. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    What a bitch! Drop her! How cruel, selfish and immature....

    am sorry for YOUR loss, please take care of yourself....

    best wishes
     
  10. scoobydrlp

    scoobydrlp Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like this "friend" is no friend at all. You're better off without her!
     

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