Ladies WTT with second child, what will you do different?

[Katy Bug]

What will you do different this second time around?

I've been thinking about this a lot. The first time I got pregnant, I knew when I was like 4 weeks. I told most of my family when I was 5 or 6 weeks. But if we get pregnant again, I want to hold off telling anyone for as long as I can. Also, I won't bother going to the doctor until I'm about 10 or 12 weeks, when they can actually do an ultrasound (unless something goes wrong/pain/miscarriage). My first doctor's visit was a complete waste. They told me what I already knew (you're pregnant!-durr) and didn't do much else. I don't think they did an ultrasound until 11 weeks. I don't even want to tell my parents for a while. I think it's just a bit more exciting for folks that way, when they're told you're farther along than they might think.

My family loves to throw showers, so I could expect at least one. So I would probably just make online registries this time

The only thing that has me worried is my weight. I'm still at least 12 pounds away from my previous pregnancy weight before I had my first child. I'm not that far away from it so I'm just going to have to try and lose it so I won't feel bad about being bigger this time around.

DH doesn't want to know the gender with our second child, but I do. I'm hoping for a girl, but will be just as happy with a boy. Any way around this? What about everyone else? What will you all be doing differently in terms of telling people/going to the doc/buying things/etc? While we're waiting to try, we have much time to think about all this.

We'll be ttc around May/June.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Lots of things different this time!

Firstly, do the pregnancy test with my DH. With my DS, DH was away for the weekend and I did one on my own and confided in a friend before telling my DH when he got back. I'd love to have that moment of finding out with him there too. Then, when we do find out, refrain from telling family early. DH told everyone on his side literally right away and it was so horrible everyone knowing that early! It made the pregnancy seem way longer too. I just want those first 12 weeks with it being a secret between me and DH, no pressure from anyone else.

I also want to remain Team Yellow this time. We wanted to with DS but got loads of pressure from everyone and ended up finding out. It made the scan lovely but it still would have been ten times better to find out at birth, especially considering how rubbish a birth experience I had. And not tell anyone our names this time either, everyone knew we were having a boy who would be called Oliver (thanks DH!) so the only thing to tell people when he was born was the weight. Oh and take tons more photos of my bump, have about three from DS. So yeah a lot of things really

 

[Katy Bug]

I agree with you on not telling anyone names! It annoyed me that everyone already knew with us. I'd like to remain team yellow, but it would be VERY hard for me because I like to know haha. If we do find out, though, I want to do one of those gender reveal party things. I think they're kinda corny but kinda cool at the same time

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Aw I love watching people's youtube videos of their gender reveal parties Usually they involve the cake sponge cutting but I'm sure there's lots of other ideas. I'm in the UK though and it's not really a thing here yet, I don't know what people would make of it if we did one! They're really cool though.

 

[MamaByrd]

The cutest thing I see for gender reveals is when they put a bunch of colored balloons(pink or blue, obviously) in a large box and the parents to be open it together That's our plan, definitely. Can't wait!

 

[Iveneverseen]

Some good fun ideas here.
I'm not sure anything in particular I would do differently next time (would be our 4th and last)

 

[carlywarly]

I think eat healthier lol. I developed Gestational diabetes with my son (ok not my fault, but I wonder if I kinda made it a problem with eating choccies n sweets LOTS!) LOL. I am about 90% sure I'll develop it again anyways so maybe I should enjoy then choccies while I can?! Hehe.

I am kinda wanting to go team yellow too...but I know what I'm like, will probably book a private gender scan at 16 weeks again! lol. Our name was secret from all but family last time, and will be again

Also want to hold off telling people as long as possible (managed to make it to 12 weeks last time - apart from close ones). I found out at 3 weeks I was pregnant so it was a loooong pregnancy anyway, luckily Isaac came 3 weeks early or I may have kept prodding him to come out by 38 weeks!! lol

Sooo excited to try again!! Too pee on sticks and what not!! lol Good luck

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I won't tell everybody and their mother as soon as I know like I did with DD

 

[Vesta]

I'll test with my DH. I didn't really think I was pregnant last time. It was more a "I'll take this spare pregnancy test that I have to shut my brain up!" DH was fast asleep when I tested.

If I suffer from morning sickness, I will demand medication. Not a chance in hell I'm spending 9 months throwing up again! Not when I have a toddler to look after!

I'll combi feed earlier, if I need to.

 

[sequeena]

I'm hoping to not tell anyone until I'm 20 weeks at least. My waters broke at 14 weeks. I don't want to know the gender but OH does so not sure how we'll go about that one. I also really want a 3D scan I will also be asking for anti sickness tablets if my MS is very bad. I struggled for a long time never realising I could get help. Then I was admitted to hospital and was given some tablets (zofran I think) and it just made life so much easier.

 

[Girly922]

There's not a huge amount I think I'll change next time around. We waited until our 12wk scan to tell people, we stayed team yellow, and we didn't tell anyone our chosen names.

I'm on the fence about finding out next time (and keeping it a secret between me and OH) but OH wants to stay team yellow again. I'd also like to have OH there when I test. With DD I tested while he was at work and then kept it secret for 4 days so I could wrap up a BFP for valentines day. Oh, and I hope I'll be able to wait longer before testing next time. I used so many tests last time it was ridiculous!!

The only other thing, if I can convince OH, is that I'd like to plan for a home birth next time.

 

[Ganton]

If we decide to try for a 3rd, then I'd like to try to hold off testing until a bit later, and also not tell as many people before 12 weeks. I tried this with my 2nd but still ended up telling close family, my best friend, and work well before the scan.

My 2nd LO is only 12 days old, but I'm a good stone above my pre-pregnancy weight and about 22lb above where I'd ideally like to be. Im sure some will come off naturally over the coming months, but I'm determined that I'll get below my pre-pregnancy weight before trying again, then try to eat far more carefully throughout pregnancy. My first 2 were 9lb1oz, then 9lb9oz, so I'm worried about breaking the 10lb barrier!

Stayed team yellow with both my sons. I'd like to again, but would be more tempted to find out.

 

[darkriver]

I wont tell anyone until I am 12 weeks. I will involve my husband more. I will take it a lot easier.

 

[smawfl]

I don't think I would do an awful lot differently.

Last time we waited till about 10/11 weeks to tell our parents as they live far away and we wanted to tell them both together. This time I think we'll tell them a little sooner.

We were team yellow last time and would like to be again second time round.

 

[yoshy]

Not that much I plan to do differently with #2, although there are one or two things.

Firstly we won't be disclosing gender this time, possibly not even on BnB, although I'm not so determined about that.
Going to wait til 7-8 weeks to go to the doc unless there's a reason to do otherwise (my gyno is happy to do an US at every appointment, even right from the start, but I see no point in stressing myself out before it's even possible to see a heartbeat).
Also I plan to be a little more relaxed this time and not stress about what I am and am not allowed to eat (things like lox & deli meat).

Other than that, pretty much the same. We won't be doing the NT scan, but we will do the early anomaly scan they offer here at 14-16 weeks.

 

[dvc2012]

My first pregnancy was relatively easy, so I can't complain about much, but there are some things I will do differently.

With my first pregnancy, I was so impatient about finding out the gender and as soon as the 20 week scan came around, I HAD to know. I think with #2, I would like to wait and be surprised since I really have no gender preference. Alternatively, I am also debating on doing a gender reveal party since I had a baby shower with my first and feel bad having a second baby shower. I think every baby should be celebrated though so that's why I am thinking a gender reveal party would be fun.

Towards the end of my first pregnancy, I got a little bit crazy with the "I'm going to eat whatever I want" idea and I ended up gaining a lot of weight that I am still having trouble losing, so with #2, I am planning on eating healthier foods and avoiding the junk. I was one of those paranoid FTMs that avoided ALL of the "do not eat during pregnancy" foods and I would even check labels to make sure there was nothing that was considered bad. I will probably continue this paranoia with #2 unfortunately.

Lastly, I am hoping that I do not experience another bout of PPD or if I do, not a severely. I had a really severe episode of it twice during his first year and it was terrible. This is out of my control for the most part though so if it happens, I will deal with it. I think in the beginning it was partly due to my anxiety over every little thing like SIDS, is he getting enough sleep, why does he want me to hold him 24/7 (miss those days now, I should have just relaxed and snuggled with him...now he's like let me go mom! ), is he getting a cold, what if he's sick and I don't know... ugh, I was ridiculous. I would go days without sleep because of the anxiety, not because he was awake, and I think that also pushed me over the edge as well. Now that I've had experience, I'm hoping I can let some things go next time around.

 

[Wandering]

Pretty much the same as everyone else! I was so impatient to know the gender first time round I booked a private scan at 16 weeks to find out. This time I'd like to be team yellow..and if that plan fails then i'd like a gender reveal party!

Eat better..I worked so hard to get my pregnancy weight off, and boy did I have a lot of it.. I really took the eating for two thing to heart,well not next time!
I'd like to maybe do pregnancy vlogs, a pregnancy announcement video for my family and do a time lapse of my bump growing. Definately wont tell anyone till 12 weeks and wont tell anyone the names. I got sick of hearing peoples opinions about my name choices!

 

[Mrs_Bump]

Not sure what I'd do differently. Told family at 13 weeks (ie post scan) last time and work and friends around 15. That worked for us. I think I'd be more assertive this time round. I let too many people bully me when it came to birth choices and I had a terrible birth and post birth experience through that. I found out the gender last time and would do again as it helped the bonding for me when I could refer to the baby as he and not it or the baby.

 

[emyandpotato]

Well sadly it'll be about 7-10 years before we're in a position to TTC again but at the moment the things I plan to do differently are:

-Be proud and not feel ashamed or embarrassed, and enjoy my pregnancy
-Not gain too much weight
-Find out the gender but (probably) keep it to ourselves
-Not discuss names with anyone
-Have a home water birth
-I'll probably end up going back to work part time after a year
-Get a breastfeeding consultant on speed dial
-Get a cosleeper cot
-Use cloth from birth
-Hopefully have a better social life when baby is small and go to groups and maybe even have mummy friends
-No fancy bouncers, Jumperoos, etc. etc.
-Relax a bit more!

 

[SarahBear]

I won't be doing too much differently. Like last time, I will:

I'll probably wait to tell my parents and in-laws in person, rather than through phone or internet. I'll also stick to a low intervention approach to pregnancy and birth including not using ultrasounds unless medically indicated. I may still have a baby shower.

Unlike last time:

I may not have a baby shower and if I do, my registry will be be very tiny as we already have the majority of what we need. We also may need to use a doctor as we do not live within range of a trustworthy homebirth midwife. We're considering renting a place toward the end of my pregnancy so that I can have an out of hospital, midwife assisted birth.