Laughing so hard I can't breathe...

Thanks for the link I had wondered how they did check the dilation but after the first one i just assumed that he had both hands, a shoe horn a torch and a small sherpa in there looking for his lost keys.

Ok you made me choke on my pb cookie! :rofl:

So between me snorting my coffee and you spluttering on a cookie we have a B&B heimlich picnic. :haha:
 
Careful... you keep being this funny and you're going to make Robinator pee from her cervix and ruin her new thong.
 
No, it's bikinis I've got on, silly. The sherpas took my thongs up Everest.
 
Why is there a mountain by my cervix, anyway....?

I don't know about you but when i laid flat on my back in third tri- i sorta wondered how the Himalayas had made their way to down town melbourne. Two smaller ones in front and the mother of all alps backing up those two puppys.

Then i panicked because I was on my back, was beached and people with wet towels and buckets were on their way to roll me back to sea.

Pregnancy is so glamorous.
 
:lol:

Roll you back to sea..... :rofl: That is EXACTLY how I feel when I try to roll over in bed....
 
:rofl:

You ladies are hilarious.

Now excuse me... I have to go masturbate in hopes of jump-starting labor.

On a serious note... I WAS wondering if my doctor somehow jammed 4 fingers in me today when he was checking my cervix. I was scared to look it up in case it was one of those things I actually didn't want to know... :rofl: :rofl:
 
https://savasplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Swimwear.jpg
 
Has anyone ever tried to get cervical pee out of the carpet? the stain just never goes away *sigh*
 
:rofl:

You ladies are hilarious.

Now excuse me... I have to go masturbate in hopes of jump-starting labor.

As long as you dont do it with a fresh pineapple you go girl!
 
Watch out though... if you use the pineapple to cork your bum, you get LOADS of CM on your underwear. I noticed mine is sticky and purple, and I get about a quarter cup of it a day ever since using too much pineapple up there...
 
... AND... it turns my hubby on. So... THEN what do I do??? Argh... I've already had sex 10,764 times today and my hands and knees are KILLING me!!
 
... AND... it turns my hubby on. So... THEN what do I do??? Argh... I've already had sex 10,764 times today and my hands and knees are KILLING me!!

BUT did you do it coated in caster oil on a birth ball while eating a curry?

Pfft you dont want this baby to come do you?
 
Ahhhhh :dohh: COAT myself in castor oil... I've been drinking it mixed with semen. Sigh... I'll never get all this right.
 
What I've seen...I cannot un-see. o_O

LOL! It is amazing how comfortable we all are to talk about vaginas, semen, discharge, your OHs penis, your kids penis, your leaking boobs...to people online. We all share the discomforting awkwardness together. Yay! for pregnancy commonalities. ROFL.

Psh, I'm in Georgia - not Utah. We have...uh...The World of Coca-Cola and the CNN building here in Atlanta! LOL.
 
Semen and castor oil shakes. Its the new special at TGI fridays
 
Maybe if I coat my moo-moo-hee-haw in castor oil, it'll be easier to shave it. See, I like to shave it but darn it all, I can't see around my bump...even though I use a hand mirror to look at it and everything.

P.s. my vagina looks like a marshmallow. Does yours?
 
(I really. really. really should go to bed. But this is too funny)
 

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