lesbian married to a man?

[ayoungermama]

This might be in the wrong section and if it is I'm sorry and feel free to move it.
I really hate to explain this because it is so long winded and complicated but I will try my best.
I am 21 and I have a 3 year old little girl. My common law husband is a great father and a wonderful person. I love him very much...
But for a long time i haven't really been into the idea of having sex very often. I didn't think much of it.
I met a woman at work who is the same age as me. She is an open lesbian. We began talking and made fast friends. After talking for a while she came over the my house to have some drinks. After a few drinks we found ourselves cuddling, with her hands on my thigh. I was sprawled across her with my head on her chest only inches away from her face. We never kissed but we had some very intimate moments that night.
Since then I have been struggling with my feelings for her constantly and my attractions and orientation in general.
People always say that if you are confused you should leave the relationship but it makes it a bit more complicated when there is a child involved. I do rely on him financially. And like I said I DO love him. Obviously I'm very confused.
I'm wondering if anyone has some advice. If not thank you for reading and I feel better just getting it off my chest if nothing else.

 

[Eidson23]

I have never felt so comfortable posting about something. I have literally struggled with my sexuality for YEARS. Not because of my feeling, but because of my family. My family is very Christian, I never ever thought I would come out to them. I got pregnant when I was 17, and married his father at 18. Granted, his father is an absolute idiot, but I was so unhappy. I got divorced, based on so many reasons.

Fast forward to 21, when I divorced him. I spent the next 2 years in an actual decent relationship with a man, but he was always more like a best friend. Sex with men has always been uncomfortable and not pleasurable to me. We broke up for other reasons. After him, a quick and TERRIBLE 5 month relationship with a different man. In between I had some "flings" with women, just because it's always where I was most comfortable. But I always turned to men for relationships because A) my son and B) my family.

I am happy to say that I am the happiest I have been my entire life. I am now 26 and married to the most beautiful woman on the planet. My son, loves her to death, and is very proud to tell people about his "two moms". I came out to my family at 24. It was very hard at first, but they have slowly come around. My mother even traveled across the country to come visit for Easter this year.

My best advice, is lesbian or not. Do what makes you happy. Don't remain in an unhealthy relationship for your kids sake. Being unhappy in your life does NOTHING for your children, and now I realize that you are only capable of being the best parent if YOU are happy. Especially these days, it is much more acceptable than it used to be. Granted, if you pursue it, or find yourself, you'll get looks and judgement. You'll get a ton of questions. But what matters is that you are happy.

I'm happy, my 7 year old son is happy, we're trying this month for a baby with a donor. Do what makes you happy. Feel free to private message me if you want any help. I have literally lived through this, and didn't find myself until I was 24 years old.

Good luck!

 

[dauchep]

I have never felt so comfortable posting about something. I have literally struggled with my sexuality for YEARS. Not because of my feeling, but because of my family. My family is very Christian, I never ever thought I would come out to them. I got pregnant when I was 17, and married his father at 18. Granted, his father is an absolute idiot, but I was so unhappy. I got divorced, based on so many reasons.

Fast forward to 21, when I divorced him. I spent the next 2 years in an actual decent relationship with a man, but he was always more like a best friend. Sex with men has always been uncomfortable and not pleasurable to me. We broke up for other reasons. After him, a quick and TERRIBLE 5 month relationship with a different man. In between I had some "flings" with women, just because it's always where I was most comfortable. But I always turned to men for relationships because A) my son and B) my family.

I am happy to say that I am the happiest I have been my entire life. I am now 26 and married to the most beautiful woman on the planet. My son, loves her to death, and is very proud to tell people about his "two moms". I came out to my family at 24. It was very hard at first, but they have slowly come around. My mother even traveled across the country to come visit for Easter this year.

My best advice, is lesbian or not. Do what makes you happy. Don't remain in an unhealthy relationship for your kids sake. Being unhappy in your life does NOTHING for your children, and now I realize that you are only capable of being the best parent if YOU are happy. Especially these days, it is much more acceptable than it used to be. Granted, if you pursue it, or find yourself, you'll get looks and judgement. You'll get a ton of questions. But what matters is that you are happy.

I'm happy, my 7 year old son is happy, we're trying this month for a baby with a donor. Do what makes you happy. Feel free to private message me if you want any help. I have literally lived through this, and didn't find myself until I was 24 years old.

Good luck!

it was impressive. Congrats on your courage.

 

[miaLUVSnyc]

I just read this post being a little nosey. I totally agree with Eidson23 in that you have to do what makes you happy. I will give a brief description on my own story. I also struggled with my own identity for years. In the sense that my family is also a very religious one. And I had what I would say was a different feeling towards females from a young age. I never did anything or acted on anything for a long time because it wasn't what was Godly and the right thing to do. Anyway fast fwd: to 36yrs old. 3 kids and a nasty divorce. And now 2yrs with my partner. I slowly came out to friends and some family. It was very hard and some didn't accept it. But in the end I'm happy and so are my kids and that's all that matters. It does get better.

 

[Xpecta]

Hey! I know this is an old post, but I just want to say that I agree with above. You have to be happy. The best thing for your kids is to be happy and to get to know who you are. They will learn confidence and how to love themselves if they see you do it.


Also, as a Christian I applaud both the above posters courage to be who they are and to put themselves before the thoughts of others. Sexual preference shouldn't change people's opinions of you.