Let's talk age gaps...

[littlesteph]

We have an 11.5 month age gap and I love it!!
There are difficult days but I really think for our family it works perfectly (so far not even 3 months in)
Pros- I went from one maternity straight to the next so have got to spend so much time with my eldest and didn't have to go to work whilst being pregnant second time.

I didn't get my figure back only to go out of shape again as I was only around 8 weeks pp when I got pregnant again.

Recently some things they are doing are to cute to even describe.
Oldest will waken up and when I take him through to our bedroom he sees baby there and he smiles so much and then she smiles and he goes over and attempts to cuddle her with the biggest cheese on his face as if there long lost friends. He will cuddle her on and off doing this for about we mins once they waken

There both at a similar stage of being in nappies, milks, naps, iv barely even put the toys away from eldest and in a few months youngest will be using them.

I'm used to this do youngest just slots in and feels like she's always been with us, oldest doesn't remember life without her.

Bad bits -
Going out is quite military, have to carry both to the car, have a massive double buggy that takes alot of room and must have a well stocked nappy bagged

Trying to get oldest off dummy's and bottles but as youngest has them he can't cope

He will be very rough with her and not realise as he doesn't understand

He can't understand why mummy can't come right this very second

Often I'm up with BOTH of them during the night.

Can't meet with the mummy's I used to as much as the groups tend to be either 0-12 months or 1-2 yes.

Can't go swimming anymore (alone)

I'd definately do it again, obviously you can't have this age gap but even a 1.5 - 2 year age gap would be similar I think

It is such a great age. I know I wouldn't change it. I know mine is a tad bigger, having 2 so close in age is great despite the struggle getting out of the house lol

 

[catty]

We have an 11.5 month age gap and I love it!!
There are difficult days but I really think for our family it works perfectly (so far not even 3 months in)
Pros- I went from one maternity straight to the next so have got to spend so much time with my eldest and didn't have to go to work whilst being pregnant second time.

I didn't get my figure back only to go out of shape again as I was only around 8 weeks pp when I got pregnant again.

Recently some things they are doing are to cute to even describe.
Oldest will waken up and when I take him through to our bedroom he sees baby there and he smiles so much and then she smiles and he goes over and attempts to cuddle her with the biggest cheese on his face as if there long lost friends. He will cuddle her on and off doing this for about we mins once they waken

There both at a similar stage of being in nappies, milks, naps, iv barely even put the toys away from eldest and in a few months youngest will be using them.

I'm used to this do youngest just slots in and feels like she's always been with us, oldest doesn't remember life without her.

Bad bits -
Going out is quite military, have to carry both to the car, have a massive double buggy that takes alot of room and must have a well stocked nappy bagged

Trying to get oldest off dummy's and bottles but as youngest has them he can't cope

He will be very rough with her and not realise as he doesn't understand

He can't understand why mummy can't come right this very second

Often I'm up with BOTH of them during the night.

Can't meet with the mummy's I used to as much as the groups tend to be either 0-12 months or 1-2 yes.

Can't go swimming anymore (alone)

I'd definately do it again, obviously you can't have this age gap but even a 1.5 - 2 year age gap would be similar I think

It is such a great age. I know I wouldn't change it. I know mine is a tad bigger, having 2 so close in age is great despite the struggle getting out of the house lol

I can see them start to get to no each other and realise each other properly it's too cute.
I love the gap but I am TERRIFIED of having two toddlers haha
I'm also scared of toilet training them both but iv heard youngest tends to pick up on it quicker.
I would recommend it to anyone, if they don't mind constant mess, chaos and tiredness of course haha

 

[littlesteph]

We have an 11.5 month age gap and I love it!!
There are difficult days but I really think for our family it works perfectly (so far not even 3 months in)
Pros- I went from one maternity straight to the next so have got to spend so much time with my eldest and didn't have to go to work whilst being pregnant second time.

I didn't get my figure back only to go out of shape again as I was only around 8 weeks pp when I got pregnant again.

Recently some things they are doing are to cute to even describe.
Oldest will waken up and when I take him through to our bedroom he sees baby there and he smiles so much and then she smiles and he goes over and attempts to cuddle her with the biggest cheese on his face as if there long lost friends. He will cuddle her on and off doing this for about we mins once they waken

There both at a similar stage of being in nappies, milks, naps, iv barely even put the toys away from eldest and in a few months youngest will be using them.

I'm used to this do youngest just slots in and feels like she's always been with us, oldest doesn't remember life without her.

Bad bits -
Going out is quite military, have to carry both to the car, have a massive double buggy that takes alot of room and must have a well stocked nappy bagged

Trying to get oldest off dummy's and bottles but as youngest has them he can't cope

He will be very rough with her and not realise as he doesn't understand

He can't understand why mummy can't come right this very second

Often I'm up with BOTH of them during the night.

Can't meet with the mummy's I used to as much as the groups tend to be either 0-12 months or 1-2 yes.

Can't go swimming anymore (alone)

I'd definately do it again, obviously you can't have this age gap but even a 1.5 - 2 year age gap would be similar I think

It is such a great age. I know I wouldn't change it. I know mine is a tad bigger, having 2 so close in age is great despite the struggle getting out of the house lol

I can see them start to get to no each other and realise each other properly it's too cute.
I love the gap but I am TERRIFIED of having two toddlers haha
I'm also scared of toilet training them both but iv heard youngest tends to pick up on it quicker.
I would recommend it to anyone, if they don't mind constant mess, chaos and tiredness of course haha

i'm not looking forward to toddler age, my eldest has started to hit the terrible 2's a little early. he's good as gold most of the time but as most kids doesn't like to be told no, yea I've heard the youngest tend to learn things quicker. I think there is some truth to it. I've just started weaning my youngest had he hates being feed he much prefers to do it himself. he's trying to crawl now too

 

[MontyMad]

I haven't had any kids yet, but I love the idea of having two babies 5-7 years apart. Not sure why, just seems like a cool number

 

[Leggiero]

Fascinating thread! I am so torn on this one. I worry that I don't have the stamina to manage two young infants at the same time, as I know myself and am easily overwhelmed, in general! I also want to allow myself and my OH a long stretch of time to adjust to a new normal, as well as give myself the time I need to recover physically. I've always thought a 5 - 6 year gap would be ideal for me.

But lately - I can't help but recall how nice it was to have a built-in play mate as a kid (my brother is less than 2 years younger), and how family outings were a breeze since we had similar interests. My OH has virtually no relationship with his sister, primarily because they struggle to find any common ground. They are 7 years apart. I don't know whether to attribute it to personality differences or age gap or both? Would be interesting to see some longitudinal studies on the matter.

Right now, I'm hoping that after we have #1, it will all magically become clear and we will instantaneously know when we should have #2. A girl can dream.

 

[Pearls18]

I've always wanted a 3 year gap, it was what my brother and I had so I guess that was just what was normal to me.

After having DS1 who was unplanned right away I said to DH we would be planning for a 3 year gap, I didn't even give it much thought, but I knew we were going to need a bit of time to get used to being parents, get a few things in line we didn't manage before DS1 and then I thought it would be a good age because he would be past teething, potty training, well settled at night etc, just generally more independent.

We got a 3 year 3 month gap and so far (9 months in) it has worked perfectly, DS1 was almost entirely independent, I could lay clothes out for him and he gets himself dressed, feeds himself his breakfast, goes to the toilet (I still have to wipe his bum though lol), he will play by himself, obviously I don't leave him to his devises all day lol, but when DS2 is needing feeding, or changing or is crying DS1 can occupy himself. Genuinely going from 1-2 was not been overly hard and that was with a second baby who did not sleep well at all, now he's sleeping it doesn't feel much harder than 1 (I imagine this will change when he's going through the toddler stage but by then DS1 will be a full blown child at least!) not to mention as well he got his free nursery hours while I was on maternity so he could still go for a bit which was lovely for him and me. Working is quite important to me and a 2 year gap would have been a bit harder to go back to work and generally more expensive. Like Mindutopia I like that my body has had time to recover in between pregnancies! Also not to rush it, I'm not overly fussed on pregnancy but it was nice to space it out a bit to savour it and get excited for the next time. DS1 dotes on his brother, we've had no jealousy, only thing I would say is I'm excited for DS2 to be a bit older so they can play together more when we go out and stuff, but that won't be long, I shared a fantastic childhood with my younger brother so I know it's close enough in age to play together if they get on.

So it has worked out really well for us, so much so if we had a third we would do it again, although I would like a summer baby next time so it would be 2.5 years probably so it might be a bit different.

 

[Ceejay123]

.

 

[jren]

I would like for my children to be two years apart. My older siblings are 10 years older than me and I have a sister 10 years younger. Thus, I have never felt connected to any of my siblings.

 

[LiLi2]

So much great insight! Thanks guys! I guess we'll kind of just "know" when we are ready for #2, but our son does not sleep well so we are still just trying to survive the sleep deprivation at this point. Makes me a bit sad because I've always wanted kids very close in age, but I'm glad that many of you find that a 2-3 year gap is just as rewarding so I can stop feeling like the clock is ticking