letting a baby crie?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by mum2b2009, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. mum2b2009

    mum2b2009 mummy of two boys!

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    hello ladies! do you let your LO cry if you know their nappy has been changed fed winded etc??? my LO is just over a month old and cry if he is put down and not asleep! my OH said to let him cry himself to sleep but its heart breaking for me to hear his cry. any advice plz ?x
     
  2. bana

    bana Mummy to Tristan

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    yr baby is trying to communicate to u, trust a man to say something like that. mw's and hvs do not advise to let them cry it out before 9 months as yr lo cud possibly b hungry still? hes only a month nothing wrong with just hugging him if thats what he wants hes still only tiny and doesnt understand! x
     
  3. Armywife

    Armywife Mummy to 2 beauties

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    I'm sure people will be very divided on this and i think the only answer really is to say if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it.

    In my experience it does work, with Poppy we put her down to sleep and if she's crying just go and check on her every 10 minutes but we try not to speak to her or turn on the light. In the beggining she'd cry for a while but now she happily goes off to sleep. I think the general advice is to always put your baby down awake then they know how to get themselves to sleep.

    As i said, only do what you are comfortable and happy with. What works for one baby may not for another, you know whats right for YOUR child.

    Good luck xx
     
  4. mommyof3co

    mommyof3co Mommy of 4 amazing boys!

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    I personally think that even for people that think CIO is right for their family at your son's age he's just too young, even experts that agree with CIO would agree, he's just too young. I personally do not believe in letting them just cry anyways, I think they are trying to communicate with you and even if it appears everything is taken care of something else is upsetting them and that might just be that they need to be held and comforted
     
  5. coco25

    coco25 Well-Known Member

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    My baby would cry whenever he was put down for the first 8 weeks and to be honest I did panic that he would be like that forever! However, I listened to his needs and always picked him up when he cried. Now at 15 weeks he would MUCH rather be on his own on playmat or bouncy chair than in my arms and I actually miss the cuddles! He is also learning to go to sleep on his own. Make the most of holding your baby now - if he wants to be held, hold him - he is still tiny! xx
     
  6. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I agree that your LO is a bit too young for CIO. CIO is another very devisive issue. :dohh: It is not for everyone... and others swear by it. But either way, you generally shouldn't use it until the LO is AT LEAST a few months old -- probably longer.

    Thus far I have never used CIO, and hope I don't have to. Until LO was about 8 weeks old, he was almost never put down. He had tummy and play time, but they were short bouts, a few times per day. Other than that, he was held. Even while asleep.

    Even now, at 5 months, I will let him fuss a bit if he is down for a nap or sleep, but I won't let it get to crying. If he cries, he gets my attention. Maybe I am lucky, but so far he doesn't cry unless he really needs something. He will fuss if he just wants to see if he can get my attention and only cry when he is really determined that he needs me.
     
  7. Lucy_lu_84

    Lucy_lu_84 Pregnant with #2

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    Agree I would have written the same!
     
  8. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

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    at that age no we never left Hannah to cry and I spent most of my days holding her because she wouldn't let me put her down even for her naps :lol: it slowly got better though
     
  9. dali

    dali Well-Known Member

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    me too :)
     
  10. jenny_wren

    jenny_wren Queen Spammatha

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    i do now but i didn't at that age ...

    if i know there's nothing wrong with her
    apart from the facts she tired and wants
    to have a paddy yes i do leave her
    same as during the night we dont get up
    unless she cries in hunger ... but she's old
    enough to be able to tell whats wrong if
    there is anything ...

    at such a young age i agree no i didn't
    leave her until i could tell her cries apart
    iykwim

    xx :hugs:
     
  11. DizzyMoo

    DizzyMoo Guest

    I agree with above too.

    I really don't agree with the cio method at all, Babies communicate by crying when they need you or something, So to ignore them i think is so wrong & sends wrong signals.
    Whether as said above, they are fed, cleaned etc & still crying then obviously they want something else whether its just a hug what is wrong with that? People leave their babies to cry & i find that heartbreaking tbh, ignoring your own child because people think they dont need/want anything pah!

    If your baby is crying hun then continue to see to him .
     
  12. lexy604

    lexy604 Sleeps through the night!

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    That is way to young for a baby to be able to self sooth and just fall asleep I know with Carter there is always a problem when he cries its not just for no reason. Just takes some time to know what that problem is.
     
  13. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    I don't let him cry unless I am in the middle of something (like in the bathroom LOL) and he suddenly wakes up and starts crying - but I get to him asap. I can't always do anything though - when I have tried changing him, feeding, comforting, sometimes he still cries. I do everything I can think of though!
    Not to sound stupid, but what is the CIO method?
    xx
     
  14. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    Cry It Out

    Meaning you let them cry until they wear themselves out and fall asleep -- usually from exhaustion. I've known moms that use CIO and have let their babies cry for an hour or more.
     
  15. sobersadie

    sobersadie 2 sons and a daughter :-)

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    yep i wud agree she is a bit young to be left to cry it out. I dont think it wud really work at this age more than anything she is too wee to understand. I cant bear crying so i pick my daughter up when she cries and did so with my 2 boys and they are not clingy in the slightest and all 3 of them sleep through the night (have done since 6-8 weeks). i think when they are very young they need to feel secure and that you havent 'left' them. However she is your baby so u need to find what is right and what works for you.
     
  16. Seraphim

    Seraphim Amazing Baby Girl

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    Our LO is almost 6 weeks old, and personally we don't do CIO.

    Hazel cries when she needs something, and as 'inconvenient' as it may be at times, that's just tough.

    IMHO young babies aren't capable of tantruming - so there's no valid reason to CIO.

    We don't break into a sweat to halt the crying (now) though either... for example if I need to quickly finish what I'm doing I will.
     
  17. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    Agree with the ladies who have said not to leave your baby to cry. I wouldn't do it any age, it just feels totally unnatural to me, to let your own baby cry alone. :(
     
  18. Tegans Mama

    Tegans Mama home edding mum of 2

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    This is another one of those things that everyone thinks they have a right to judge others about. How one person lives their life is none of another persons business unless it directly affects them.

    We started CIO with my daughter when she was 10 months old and we moved into a new house. She'd become a monster at bedtime. I spend my day carrying her around, doing things a lot of people will never do for their children, and I need a break at nighttime. I couldn't really cope with sitting beside her for 2+ hours and then as soon as I tried to creep away her waking up.
    She doesn't cry herself to sleep through exhaustion. Exactly the opposite in fact - she goes to bed at the same time everynight, we put her down awake, she lays there and goes straight to sleep... what's so bad about that?

    However I have to agree that your LO is far too young for CIO. 10 months really was the earliest I could do it, once I knew the difference between her cries. Now, if she ever cried at bedtime, she gets angry, not sad.
     
  19. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    ^^ Sorry, I should have been more clear -- I know moms that have done that to very young babies -- one baby was only 4 weeks old when her mom made her CIO on a regular basis. And that LO did fall asleep from exhaustion from crying for 45 minutes to an hour. Even the mom admitted it was exhaustion that finally made her stop.

    Having a 10 month old that refuses to self settle is a completely different issue and I wouldn't judge anyone for trying CIO at that point. It clearly worked for you as she now self settles. :thumbup:

    In my earlier post I said that I had not used CIO yet and hope that I don't have to -- which implies that I can see where it might be worth trying in certain circumstances and am even open to it if necessary. I just hope it doesn't come to that.

    No offense meant.
     
  20. Tegans Mama

    Tegans Mama home edding mum of 2

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    No problem hun, I hoped it wouldn't come to that but unfortunately it did :( We now have a 16 month old who sleeps 14 hours a night. I don't regret letting her CIO at all. Some people. it works for, others not so much
     

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