Letting baby go with parents for a week

[StarBound]

Ahh i'm in such a pickle !!! I had my lo less than a week ago and I'm struggling , although he sleeps well , only woke twice in space of 10 hours . But I am going back to college next week and although it's part time and my mum will be watching him I'm worried il miss him but at the same time I really feel the need for the rest ! Now my problem is the last week of this month my parents are going away for a week and I can't get anyone to look after him for either of the 2 days ! Which means I'm stuck ,college have warned me about my attendance . My partner can't get the time off , no one is free . My mum has offered to take him with her but would he be ok on bottles the entire week ? Would I be too upset or will the rest do me good ? Is it going to affect our bond I'm so upset but don't feel I can manage without my mum

 

[New2Bumps]

Woah what a situation.

My instinct is to say can't you defer college a year but I guess you've thought of that. Having a baby under, I'd say, 3 months old and doing anythign else that requires full concentration and commitment is an extremely difficult ask of anyone, let alone with a week old baby.
I can only give my opinion so not saying I'm right with anything, but I'd be worried about bonding being away from baby for so long at such a young young age. I think you'd miss him terribly and the stress of missing him would far outweigh the 'rest' that you'd have to be honest, because baby is so young. You wouldn't be concentrating on college anyway. As you've asked if he's okay on bottles the week, does this mean you're bfing? If so that's a whole other issue to contend with.

I can understand why you're upset and we all need someone else to help us in early days. Is there no-one else who'd help? (no one at all from dad's side - mil, sil etc? - as I think anyone who could help out for a bit is better than baby being away full time). Is there a creche at college (not sure if they take such young babies though).

If I were you I'd defer college, for a year ideally but even for a term would be good (but that's me, that might not be right for you) but I'd certainly go in and see college on Monday and explain your circumstances, rather than let your mom take him for a whole week. Especially if there is no one else who can help, just your mom, you need to ensure the college is fully aware of that and they should make allowances. You look quite young on your profile pic (lucky you) and I don't think they'd say to someone my age (30s) any kind of 'warning' about attendance. They have to take extenuating circumstances into consideration no matter what they are regardless of age. If they shove you off the course for missing the first week when there really is NO other option then you could take it further as they're most certainly not allowed to do that. Why are you in such a rush to go to college? If you really want to, then you WILL go, no matter when.

Really hope you find a solution hun, but really, I'd stay with baby the week x

 

[jenny82]

It is a horrible situation for you :/

I was supposed to go back to college when LO was 10 weeks old. I had a place in the creche all lined up for him and everything, but I just couldn't do it so I really feel for you. Luckily I still had SMP so could afford to defer, but I know that might not be the case for you.

If there isn't a chance you could defer, what if you could even see about skipping this semester and starting back in January?? I know with the course I'm doing I would've been able to do January-December, instead of September-June, if you know what I mean.

If you're worried about that week that your parents are away, what if you spoke to your tutors, explained the situation and got all of the study material NOW, so that you can prepare for having a week off, do all the homeworks/tutorials early and then you can study at home that week? Or even give someone in your class a tape recorder so they can record the class for you?

 

[Freya27]

Hiya hun,

I really feel for you. What a nightmare of a situation to be in. I don't really know what advice to offer other than I really wouldn't leave your baby so young for so long. Not only would it be one hell of a wrench for you but your baby needs you around, it's your smell etc that he's used to and he would miss you too.

I'm really shocked that your college wouldn't understand your situation and are trying to rush you back when your lo isn't even a week old. If you were employed you wouldn't even be allowed back so soon even if you wanted to!

I'd really try to speak to your college and try to arrange an alternative solution.

Good luck and hope you manage to sort it all out

xxx

 

[Natasha2605]

Aw what a horrible predicament. I'd go back to your college and have a word, ask if you can do the work at home or something. I couldn't imagine not having my baba for a week so I dunno if you'd find it more stressful not having him? xx

 

[pinktaffy]

i cant imagine collige not letting u have a few days off with a small baby. go back and explaine.
i wouldnt say no dont leave your baby thats up 2 u. but i dont think i could it now and my baby is over 5 months.

 

[Mummy2Asher]

I went to college when my son was 1 so I wa lucky and he went to nursery but if he was ill I would take days off so 2days should be okay. I can't even leave my near 4yr old for a week still, I would miss him way too much and my newborn is a deffinate no but everyone is different and whenever you feel comfortable is fine
What about a childminder for the couple of days or just a babysitter? You can find them online from babysitting/nannying agencies?

 

[Mummy2Asher]

Also when my son was ill they sent my work to me and I did it at home so I didn't fall behind, maybe they could do this?

 

[bump_wanted]

i think it would be too upsetting for the mum a baby so young being away for a week

sorry sounds awful position to be in but i know i couldnt do it as for the college maybe try explaining the situation again but its not as if they can chuck you off the course for 2 days xx

 

[Foogirl]

Speak to your college.

The have a responsibility to take your personal situation into account. In fact, I'd say it may even be tantamount to sexual discrimination if they were to count non attendance because of your childcare issues against you. There must be some flexibility for extenuating circumstances to be taken into account. No new mother should have to make such a decision based on the "rules" of an organisation.

My personal opinion is that a week at 3 months is too long. When you ask about bottles, I assume you are breastfeeding? You might find that after a week switching back to breastfeeding is difficult. Indeed, your LO might find not BFing for a week quite distressing. Abby started refusing bottles at around that age, what would happen if your LO did the same whilst your parents were away?

Of course it is your own decision and you should do what is best for all of you, but I really do think that talking to the college and explaining the situation, asking for assignments if you need them etc is the right thing to do. After all, what if you are hit by a bus? Would they fail you for non attendance??

If they refuse, I would give up the course and find another college who are far more accepting of student's personal situations.