Letting it all out.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by keeks1987, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. keeks1987

    keeks1987 Due baby2 in April

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    This is probably a common issue, but sometimes a girl just has to let it out.

    In September my little boy will be born. I’ve longed for this for some time and we’ve gone through so much to have him. We’ve had 6 painful and upsetting miscarriages to get to this point. Other pregnant women at work (we’re all due around the same time) are all having issues. One poor woman went into labour at 23 + 5 and the baby didn’t make it. Another has been put on bed rest because of leaking waters. She’s due the day before me. So it’s a tense time right now. I know everything is fine with Bug. He is doing so well. Even though I can’t feel him move at all, I feel him kick all the time. Just when he seems to know I’m stressing.

    When i was little, my mom told me about the poem "Not Waving, But Drowning". https://www.artofeurope.com/smith/smi1.htm About how everyone on the beach thought the man was waving, so they were all waving back, when in actual fact, he was drowning. She told me that sometimes, when someone looks like everything is hunky dory and is happy and looks so well adjusted, they aren't. It's just like a face they throw out to everyone so no-one thinks they are drowning - that they just can't do it. Kinda like the song "Tears of a clown".

    I just feel like I’m drowning, or going to, with all the additional responsibilities. I’m a mom, or at least soon will be an actual mom. I know it’s normal, to have these fears etc that I’m gonna fall flat on my face, but it’s harder then I thought. I've talked with Mike (hubby) about this, and he's tried to reassure me, and for a while it works, then it's like the re-assurance wears off.

    The chorus from “Over my Head (Cable Car)” by Fray keeps going through my head.

    “Everyone knows I'm in
    Over my head
    Over my head
    With eight seconds left in overtime
    (S)he's on my mind
    (S)he's on my mind”

    What I’m struggling with is just the feelings of complete inadequacy. So, it seems that for today at least, my fears have the best of me.

    Anyone else feeling something similar?
     
  2. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    hun you will be a fantastic mother, all of us feel a bit overwhelemed by a new baby, the key is knowing when its getting on top of you and knowing where to get the right help from. its a steep learning curve pregnancy and then parenting and not always a smooth ride but you can do it your a strong woman to get this far with all you have been through so I know you will do fine being a parent. bonus when it gets too much as a parent you can call a babysitter and take time out, cant do that when pregnant lol as much as some of us sometimes wish we could make our OH be the pregnant one so they know what we go through :rofl: lol
    I worked in childcare and had newborn experince from work as well as helping my mother raise my youngest 2 siblings but till the first weeks and months were all about learning both for me and my husband
     
  3. cucumber

    cucumber Well-Known Member

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    Don't want to R&R :hugs: x
     
  4. xSarahM

    xSarahM Two Beautiful Angels

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    :hugs: The fact you care so much just proves you're going to be an amazing mum!
    I'm only 18, so i definitley feel in over my head :/ every day i feel so overwhelmed. But all the girlies assure me that it'll all be fine. And same goes for you.
    Try not to worry :) enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy those little kicks and punches!
    Dont be the guy drowning, be the guy who actually IS waving! :)
     
  5. babytimeee

    babytimeee Well-Known Member

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    I know how that feels hun. :hugs:
    I'm afraid I'm going to be too selfish for the baby. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety and bulimia and this has all taken it's toll on me.. I can't be on medication and (obviously) I'm not binging/purging.. just gaining and gaining.

    I hate to say it but when it comes to possessions I'm a selfish person and adjusting to never buying myself anything is going to be very very hard for me. Which is sad to say but at least I'm recognizing it, is how I see it.

    Just stay strong and hang in there, every time I talk to OH about this he tells me once I see the baby it will all change, and I will be a million times stronger than I ever thought I could be! x
     
  6. Sherileigh

    Sherileigh Well-Known Member

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    You'll be fine hun. You'll be surprised with how easy the giving and loving comes. And you'll be surprised that it's OK, in face encouraged to ask for help sometimes. Sometimes you just need a couple of hours to yourself...or an overnight visit with grandparents when baby is a bit older....just do what you need to survive hun.
    My biggest piece of advice is to find other mothers...HONEST mothers that are supportive and will listen to you when you're stressed. Don't waste to much time on the 'everything is PERFECT' moms, they'll make you feel like crap. Talk to the honest ones, that will admit, sometimes it's just tough.
    You can do it hun!
     
  7. wanna-b-mummy

    wanna-b-mummy Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. That is extremely true :hugs:

    Everyone has these days, and I have them all the time. I trondle on through and suddenly stop and remember that I am going to be a mother for the rest of my life and I start thinking "Will I be good enough, will I know what to do, will I cope?". Of course I will and as will you :D It's just fear of the unknown but we are experiencing such an amazing thing and you will be a wonderful mum! :kiss:
     
  8. keeks1987

    keeks1987 Due baby2 in April

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    Thank you all so much :)
     

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