List of fears for TTC, pregnany and motherhood

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by calm, Apr 10, 2009.

  1. calm

    calm Administrator
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    These are the things I sometimes think about (and worry about)

    - That I will obsess about getting pregnant (and therefore not get pregnant)
    - That I will have problems in the pregnancy
    - If I had a m/c, if I would cope
    - Fear of giving birth
    - Fear of my hormones driving me mad and having some sort of depression or something related and not wanting/ not being able to look after my baby

    Once it is born:

    - Scared of going to sleep, like I have to look over him/her 24 hours
    - Fear of dropping him/her
    - Big fear of sudden death sindrome (this is quite bad)

    Do anybody else have fears of this kind?
     
  2. Pops

    Pops Proud Mum & Wifey

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    The only real fear I have is that we will not be able to concieve. After that, I think with the support of my wonderful man, family and friends I could cope with everything else thrown at me.

    x
     
  3. apple84

    apple84 Well-Known Member

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    These are the things I sometimes worry about:

    - That I will have trouble getting pregnant (that it will take a long time)
    - That I will have complications during my pregnancy and not be able to work and earn the extra money I hope to
    - Fear of m/c (who doesn't worry about that?)
    - Fear of driving DH nuts
    - Fear of something being wrong with my baby (disease, handicap ect)
     
  4. calm

    calm Administrator
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    I have some more, I thought the list was short:

    _ scared of having sex when being pregnant (can it harm the baby??, they say no but...)
    - scared of DH going without enough sex
     
  5. akgrown

    akgrown Proud Mom of 1!!

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    I am also scared that it will take a long time to conceive, esp. because I want more than one and I am getting close to 30. And after the baby is born I worry about a lot of things like how I will deal with no sleep; toxins (like in food, cleaners, etc.); will I be able to keep my relationship with my DH strong and I guess just overall if I will do a good job...?
     
  6. Pinkgirl

    Pinkgirl Well-Known Member

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    Injections lol:rofl:
    Can you tell i am already having a glass of wine! lol

    Its just from a young age, wont go into why, got a phobia of them. I think i am over it as i had to have one a while ago but it took a lot to get me in the right frame of mind.

    You proably think i am stupid and sily because i dont like them, its just i pass out and it scares me! but having a baby is worth it and its something i will have to get over. Hope i am not the only one scared over something stupid!
    x
     
  7. bunnyg82

    bunnyg82 Mum to 2 gorgeous boys

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    I think the main one and most obvious is that I'll be unable to conceive. Both my sisters fell really easily and have had 4 pregnancies (although only 3 children as both had a miscarriage one with their 3rd pregnancy and the other with her 4th). So I do worry that I'll be the odd one out and not be able to conceive easily.

    Also, I worry about obsessing about it when we start - I am bad enough now. I don't want to get bogged down in OPK's, etc unless it takes a long time as I want us to be making love and out of that comes a baby rather than having sex to have a baby iykwim?
    I also want to try and be as relaxed about it as possible and not testing unless I am actually late, etc. Rather than doing it every month etc.

    Umm, other than that, my biggest fear is that my child won't be giving lots of love and attention from our family - particularly my mother in law who keeps saying stuff to try and put us off having kids and stuff. I know that the love we have is all they'll really need, but I do want them to be seen as special by other people too!
     
  8. Rainstar

    Rainstar Mommy of a sleeping angel

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    My main fear is around having another m/c. I used to have lots more fears, mainly insecurities about whether i would make a good mum or not but now when i think of TTC i can't make it past the worry about losing another angel.
     
  9. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    I think m/c, handicaped baby and not being a good enough mother are my three fears, although I do think about wether it will be hard to concieve or not... xxxxxx
     
  10. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe I forgot to talk about my main fear: having a difficult pregnancy!!! I have always had back pains since I was a child and often need to "click my back" otherwise I feel stiff and can't do anything because it hurts. My vertebraes move out of their place so to speak and need replacing!!! Also lately I get a pain in my left buttock now and again and I'm really worried it will be "Sciatica" as I know that is one of the symptoms... That means I might not be able to work at least 8 months of the pregnancy and therefor will earn less money :(. I hope not!!!
     
  11. calm

    calm Administrator
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    I am sure that will not be the case. And should that happen, surely you will get payed anyway if the doctor puts you on the sick.

    I must admit that I worry a bit about the work situation. When I was with this particular company in the past, I was often ill, so when I came back I was told that they were happy with me coming back, but they did see me as unprofessional for the amount of time I had took off (The more I look back I don't see that it was that much). So I have made a point of going in to work and never missed a day since I have been back. However, if my pregnancy needs me to rest, take days off, I can feel a conflict going on inside me, and I imagine I will feel "unprofesional" again. But of course baby comes first... but then I think, what if after risking my job then I lose the baby, and then I don't have a job, or a baby and... gosh, sometimes its better just to say STOP and not think. If not, we really would go crazy :wacko:
     
  12. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

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    Im sared oh will never say that we can have one in the first place!

    All you ladies that mentioned having a handicapt child sorry but the term is learning disabled. I am realy not botherd about this because i belive that life dosent throw at us more than we can cope, they will be my babys no matter what they look like or how mentaly able they are. I work with adults with learning disabilitys mainly autism and they are usually the nicest people you will ever meet.Yes they may never be fully indipendant but there is nothing stopping them moving out and getting married. Most days i come back coverd in scratches and bruises from a man with severe autism but when he smiles at you its the most heart walming feeling and gives the best sence of gratification, wayy better that doing volantry work or fund raising. Yesterday i was whiping crap of a 49 year old womans backside but when she said thank you and ment it. it made me feel like i was acctualy making a differance to some ones life.
    Sorry for going on but that touched a cord.
     
  13. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    I work with "learning disabled" adults too, they have different syndroms and difficulties but it is very rewarding to work with them, not only when I see they've actually taken another step in wellbeing but also when I see their illness doesn't take it's toll so fast (I say illness because some of the users of the residence I work for have degenerative illnesses apart from learning disability). That is exactly why I'm concerned about it, because I also worked in a child brain damage centre and it's very tough. Of course I would decide wether I can cope or not thinking about the wellbeing of my future baby but also on what is going to happen when I'm not around. I will probably take whatever I'm given but also respect people that know they won't be able to give the time and attention these special children need.
    Also I must say I used the term "handicapped" because I didn't know the proper term to use as I'm spanish and the term used in spanish is "discapacity" (translated directly although it may not make sense) and it's the most respectful one.
     
  14. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I'm afraid to TTC another baby or become a mother again because:

    - I don't want to have another c-section, because I don't want to go through the complications or slow recovery period I'm going through right now.. that being said, I'll have to have a c-section, my pelvis was too small to deliver a 6 pounder. This is the main reason I don't want to have any more children, and the fact that right now I'm saying I don't want any more kids is an issue for my boyfriend, I've been through a lot with this one though and it's going to take a long time to heal physically, mentally, emotionally from it all and be ready to actively try to get pregnant. He wants 2 more I think and I'm definitely only willing to have one more, if any.

    - I want to be able to give Elyse everything she needs & wants (within reason with the wants I guess) in terms of my love; time & attention; money & material items, etc.

    - I am happy with just one child, I have her, and I'm afraid I won't love another baby as much as I love Elyse.

    - I'm afraid that I will love another baby as much as Elyse and feel guilty that they didn't get to be my first baby, have the baby showers, cards, tons of visitors, etc.
     
  15. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

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    Reading back through my post iv come across as a bit harsh :s
    Iv put the current pc term for it down because it can cause offence to some people.
    The points i put down were my personal oppinion. Iv worked with some clients who were born able bodied but have become disabled through illness and injury and for me thats worse because they have had a independant life and then everything comes crashing down. I hate it when people in the communty go awwww i feel so sorry for them. why? i dont get it. They have known nothing differant.
     
  16. apple84

    apple84 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone. I should have used the term disabled, not handicapped. My apologies. I too work with several disabled teens (physically, mentally and both) and while I agree that they are wonderful people with great personalities, I also see the hardships those families go through. Many parents divorce and I know a couple cases where the parents couldn't handle it and the child is raised by an aunt or foster parents.

    Don't get me wrong, I would keep and love my child no matter what, but I don't think there's anything wrong in admitting that I worry about having a healthy child. What mother doesn't want the best in health for their baby?

    In some ways it's how I feel about severely premature infants - I don't think anyone would want their child to be born severely premature, because it's hard on the baby and the family, but I don't believe you would love or want that baby any less if they were born very early.
     
  17. sleepinbeauty

    sleepinbeauty WTT#1 after marriage

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    -OH regretting the baby (if he ever agrees at all..)
    -finances (duurrr)
    -interference from endo(complications/miscarriage etc)***
    -being all fat and ugly forever :(
     
  18. mikababy

    mikababy Gorgeous little baby girl

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    I also work with adults with LD (assessment and care planning) and I think the latest term used within the wonderful world of adult social care is 'Learning Difficulties' (it changes every few years).

    I think that's a tricky one, as I would absolutely love my child irrespective of their learning ability. However, I think I would find it extremely difficult to have a child who never grew out of childhood from a physical aspect and that I had responsibility for 24//7. Probably that makes me selfish, but I suppose it would depend on the severity and also the nature of the disability.

    Anyways, my little list

    - That I won't be able to get pregnant (or if I do it will take years & years)
    - That it won't stick and that this might happen repeatedly
    - Post natal depression - will definitely be watching out for this!
    - Babies head dropping off - yes, I know that this is impossible, but it still scares me!
     

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