Lodger???

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by fairy_gem, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. fairy_gem

    fairy_gem Well-Known Member

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    Hello!

    We are looking at getting a lodger or two, we have one double and one single room available. I'm just wondering if anyone on here rents out a room in their home?. We really need the money, but I'm freaking out about having a stranger in the house, also DH works nights every 3 weeks.

    Any advice would be great thanks. I've looked at other ads to get an idea of rent. Best places to advertise?. Experiences?. If I advertise as furnished, is a bed and wardrobe OR chest of drawers enough?.

    This would only be for before the adoption process started. We would not have a lodger once we have started the adoption process.

    Thanks :flower:
     
  2. BethK

    BethK Well-Known Member

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    I'd not feel comfortable either tbh.

    Are you allowed to adopt with a lodger? Surely the lodger would need to same checks a future adoptive parent would need?

    I'd be a bit worried about the adopted child becoming comfortable around the lodger. It's a huge step for a child when they're adopted, they have to be given time to trust and bond with the new parents to feel safe and secure and loved. Not sure how that would work with a lodger in the house walking around yet not wanting to really bond with the child that's not theirs, yet the child needs to feel comfortable IYSWIM.

    Any way you could get someone you already know to rent the room?

    A family member, looking to leave their mum and dad's house for a bit of freedom and responsibility but can't afford to do it on their own maybe?
    Hope you work it out! X
     
  3. rhdr9193..x

    rhdr9193..x Oliver's mummy :D

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    We used to have a lodger. I hated it!
    Felt like my privacy was constantly invaded, she never washed up, was always sat in front of the TV even if she wasn't watching it! Grr!
     
  4. Bex84

    Bex84 Well-Known Member

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    Not done it personally. My parents have a lodger though and my sister is adopting. She lives next door and lodger had to go through checks as she would be seeing my sisters lo. I will be honest i think it would be uncomfortable sharing your home but that may just be me not feeling comfortable with strangers
     
  5. I would think if you are planning on adopting it is a no-go area personally. Maybe you need to make enquiries about that though if you haven't already.

    If it is just a case of having a room to themselves and sharing other facilities with you- I wouldn't like to do it personally- again, especially if you have a child coming into your life. Some people don't understand the need of leaving the likes of baby gates etc closed- plus it will be a HUGE invasion on your private life.

    If you could knock the two rooms together and make it a sort of self contained studio flat then that would work better. When we lived in Germany my parents converted the attic into a flat and we always had lodgers. I'm living in the extension at the back of my Mums which she built to rent out.

    If you do it- insist on a background check and at least 2 professional references.

    The likes of Spare room and Gumtree are good places to try.
     
  6. smokey

    smokey Mummy to a monkey

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    Id never do it.
    As a kid we had lodgers on 3 occasions, all family members and it caused nothing but problems.
    One uncle was always coming and going all hours with differant girls and allways drunk and trying to start a argument, another uncle well least said the better, those that have seen my other posts will know what he did as well as always getting arrested and running up massive bills and causeing us to get burgled.
    The other lot was first uncles gf with her kids and she ended up doing a bunk and leaving her kids with us for nearly a year.
    My mum paid for thier schooling, food everything then the woman showed back up (she was in contact) and threatened to call ss on my mum claiming my mum beat and starved her kids.
    My aunt had a lodger that wiped her bank account out.
    My mums friend had a lodger that ended up abbusing the 2 eldest girls (along with the girls father, both where arrested)
    Another of my mums friends had a female lodger and she ran off with her friends husband.
    So nope id never go there.
     
  7. fairy_gem

    fairy_gem Well-Known Member

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    Thanks.

    We would not have a lodger when we adopt, we would only have the lodger beforehand. There is no way I would ever have a stranger in the house with my child.

    :flower:
     
  8. fairy_gem

    fairy_gem Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, we would never consider having a lodger once we have adopted. This would just be before the adoption process. I would never have a lodger with a child in the house.

    :flower:
     
  9. BethK

    BethK Well-Known Member

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    Oh that's ok then, you may have to wait to start the adoption process till they've gone though.

    Is it easy to get rid of a lodger if you don't want them any more? x
     
  10. I don't know the ins and outs myself (I could ask my mum though) but I imagine you would want to have a contract- and the contract is binding for both parties so if something was to happen RE the adoption- you couldn't just kick the lodger out. You would have to wait until the length of time you agreed (usually 12 months) before they have to leave if you ask them.
     
  11. fairy_gem

    fairy_gem Well-Known Member

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    Just to clarify, we would not start the adoption process whilst we had a lodger. We would only have a lodger for 12 months, so either one 12 month contract or two 6 month contracts, only after these have ended and the lodger has left would we start the adoption process.

    I was just looking for experiences with lodgers and advice on this rather than bringing the adoption side into it.

    :flower:
     
  12. Piggywinkle

    Piggywinkle Well-Known Member

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    I had lodgers on two separate occasions in the past when I was single and childless. Both times it ended badly :( I'm sure a lot of people have benefited from having lodgers but I certainly didn't. I had trial periods where they acted like the perfect lodger but once that contract was signed, it was game over. Filthy rooms, coming and going at unsociable hours, sneaking in people of ill repute (drug dealers/ex-cons/one night stands). Using all my kitchenware and hoarding it in their room so they didn't have to wash it up, leaving the bathroom filthy, finally leaving a load of crap behind when they moved out, so I had to lug a load of old broken bedroom furniture down the tip myself...

    A complete nightmare :( Perhaps I just had particularly bad experiences :(
     
  13. Everyone has bad situations with everything in life- it happens.

    As I said earlier- I have grown up with my parents having lodgers and we had no problems. In fact, many of them me and sister became very close to and one became our Nanny when our old nanny left.

    I know my Mum will get lodgers in when I have left home (hopefully in a year or so) and I won't have a problem with Aden and the new baby being round them- aslong as the proper checks have been put in place.

    I wouldn't let having a child stop me having a lodger- call me weird, but I wouldn't. I only pointed it out to the OP because no doubt SS will view it differently- edge of caution etc.

    Not everyone is a kiddy snatcher etc. But as I said- good and bad experiences :)
     

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