Long term Co Sleeping/Bed sharing

[Sam292]

I need help! We have been full time co-sleepng for over 6 months and it has been lovely. I have no set plan for moving ds in to his own bed but had a vague idea that he would be in with us for at least another year. This past few weeks we have started to have a few issues and I am wondering if ds is trying to communicate a want to move further from us - he is in his cot but it is attached to our bed with the side off and we treat it as part of the bed. So the issues have been -

-Waking up very frequently and trying to crawl over me to his daddy. We tried having him sleep in the middle but he just wants to play when he see's daddy so will climb all over him or try to crawl off the bed!

- Using me as a dummy, all night on and off feeding like every 20 mins

- Waking up crying and not latching on or coming on and off to cry some more (he is not obviously ill or teething and i worried it could be a milk supply issue)

- Only sleeping right in my arms but in a way that prevents me sleeping too - kicking out and making noises in his sleep which disturb me.

All of these things dont happen every night, it could be just one or a combination of several but it has been a bumpy ride over the last few weeks.

MIL has lent me her travel cot to see if he sleeps any better in it but i am in two minds whether or not to try it. What do you think, is he trying to tell me something? Can we overcome these hurdles?

On a good night (before all this started) he woke 3-4 times anyway so I'm reluctant to drag myself out of bed to sit up feeding him then have to resettle him in a cot. Would love to hear your experiences/advice

 

[Lightworker]

My LO some nights does the whole latching on and off thing, and I think it is related to teething. Plus in the early hours of the morning, she feeds almost non-stop, and it could be that my supply has gone low, and she is trying to stimulate more milk.

Just as a new teeth is about to erupt, she makes this moaning kind of sound, and moves alot, and then a couple of days later, a tooth comes through. She also makes the same noises when ill with a cold. My DH once suggested that I give her a pain killer when she starts fussing, but its hard administering calpol to a sleeping baby, unless you have like a medicine dropper, get her to latch onto breast, and then sneak the dropper in along with the breast. I did that once and she seemed better, so I think for he the moaning etc was pain.

Personally, I am a long-term co-sleeper, and don't think any of our problems will be solved by putting her in her own bed. The fact that she needs to suck every 2 minutes means she needs my boob for comfort and moving her may only exarcabate things, so I have no real advice, but maybe just stick with it for a while and see what happens.

 

[Kaites]

I agree with Lightworker but just wanted to add that it could also be a lot of developmental changes disturbing his sleep- 10 months is prime time for first words and first steps and separation anxiety is also common. Emma went through a similar phase and we chose to ride it out with co-sleeping. There were some nights when I had to bring her to the spare room so that hubby could get a better night's sleep because of having to be up super early for work but the phase did eventually pass. Emma's still not a great sleeper, but around 10 months was definitely one of the rougher patches- hope it gets better for you soon

 

[lozzy21]

Its an age thing, Niamh is in her cot in our room and is waking lots in the night for her dummy and sometimes shes waking whimpering with her dummy in but settles if you stroke her face. Shes also wanting to play at 4 am and taking a good hour to go back to sleep.

 

[Sam292]

Thanks everyone - I was hoping it is a developmental thing as I am really not ready to sleep without him yet! I want him to be in with us as long as he wants but didn't want my wanting to have him with me to overshadow his needs if he is wanting to be more independent.

Does anyone have a plan for if a second baby comes along and baby no1 is still co sleeping? Do you think you will do the family bed thing or gently wean when you get pregnant?

 

[Lightworker]

Our bed was too small for the famile bed, but we do sometimes in the morning. What we did is first all moved in to DD1s room when I was pregnant, then I left, and DH was in there with her. She seemed fine with it. However, that didn't last long, so when LO arrived, we moved her bed into our room.

If she needed extra cuddles, DH would get in with her. She is still in our room, and when my LO stops nursing in the night, I hope to move them together, to see if that will work, although I don't mind if they want to stay in with us. x

 

[NaturalMomma]

Could be teething, milestones, growing pains, etc. All kids no matter if they co-sleep or sleep alone will have these restless nights at times. Both my co-sleepers went through this around that time, and then again around 12 months. I let my ds1 wean himself from bed-sharing which was around 3 years of age. I'll do the same with ds2 who is currently 17 months and still bed-sharing.