Looking for people TTC after miscarriage

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by MrsFruitie, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies,

    We had it confirmed today that I have unfortunately had a missed miscarriage. At my scan I should have shown 10 weeks but the fetal pole measured 6 with no heartbeat.

    I have opted for the minor surgery which will take place Monday 24th. I am too emotional to deal with the physical pain of a natural passing as well.

    As soon as we have the all clear we aim to try again as we are looking forward to being a family. Me and my husband are very much in love and cannot wait to share our happiness and love with a little baby.

    I’m looking for women in similar situations to share our TTC post loss journey together, and support each other!

    Thanks ladies and stay strong.
    We can do this! ❤️
     
    MissMars likes this.
  2. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:

    Hi Mrs Frutie

    So sorry to hear your sad news. Sending all my love for the 24th which I know will not be an easy day for you.

    I am currently going through a similar thing. My partner and I had been trying to conceive and got our BFP in June (on Father's Day!). The pregnancy was very typical and no issues but on my scan day (14th August), we were advised that the baby had major abnormalities and would not survive outside the womb. I had to have a medical termination which was heartbreaking. I am currently waiting for my cycles to return before we discuss trying again.

    I too am looking for ladies in a similar position to share the journey with for all its ups and downs! Would love to stay in touch. Stay strong xx
     
  3. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    Oh Stardust I’m very sorry to hear your sad news too. Huge hug to you. It really is heartbreaking, but at the same time when we do have our babies we will appreciate them all the more ❤️
     
  4. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies may I join? So sorry yo hear of your losses. I already have one child but just had my first miscarriage and have found talking about it so healing but am struggling to find support in the 'real world' so would love some here especially with the terrifying journey of TTCAL.

    Everything seemed to be going well with this pregnancy, great hcg, bub measuring ahead, strong heartbeat, perfect growth rate. I had been spotting but had spotted through my entire last pregnancy so hoped for the best. Unfortunately our third scan showed growth had stopped just after 8 weeks 2 days. Heartbreaking for sure. I went on to miscarry naturally while waiting to hear from the hospital. I totally understand your desire for medical treatment mrsfrutie as I wanted the same.

    I'm still having the odd bleed here and there and it's been a week and a half since I passed everything. Will have another blood draw on Monday to check hcg. Hopeing it has dropped way down.

    Trying to decide when to start trying again. I wanted to wait one cycle but now I'm not sure, I just want to be pregnant again but don't want to rush anything too much.

    Thinking of you ladies.
     
  5. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Chickybaby,
    I’m sorry for your loss also. And I agree it’s much easier to talk about with women in similar situations on here.
    It’s a heartbreaking situation that unfortunately we have no control over at all, sometime it just salt happens.
    I’m really worried mine will start naturally before the surgery, I really don’t know how I would cope emotionally.
    We will be trying to conceive as soon as it is safe again, as we are so excited to start a family together. I’m hoping it happens quickly like I’ve seen with a lot of post loss ladies, however the first pregnancy took a while so I’m unsure... xx
     
  6. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    Mrsfrutie yes it still feels surreal. I still can't quite believe I've lost a baby. Crazy how quickly the world moves on.

    Sorry you a worried about having a natural miscarriage. I was terrified too but was already bleeding so it happened quite quickly. Most women I no have had a d & c weeks latter with no bleeding in the meantime. Please try not to stress though, you are stronger than you think and will get through this.

    We were lucky this time and got pregnant first try. Took 8 months with our first. I had messed up cycles after bcp.

    The info on when to try again is so different depending on who you talk to. I think I will wait to see how long it takes to ovulate or if I do and go from there.
     
  7. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Chickybaby

    Sorry to hear your story.

    I know exactly what you mean when you say you're finding it healing to talk about it. I feel the same but I almost feel like it's expected of me to keep it to myself in the 'real' world. So I think this forum will be a great source of comfort for me in my journey.

    I'm also not sure how long to leave it before trying again. There's so much different advice online isn't there?! I think the main thing is that you allow one natural period for your womb to heal. So I'm currently waiting for that. I'm pretty sure I have ovulated as I had my normal signs - slight pain and EGCM but I didn't test so we will see!

    I really hope we can all stay in touch and document this exciting and frustrating journey together until we all have our rainbows :)
     
  8. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies,
    I agree, it’s nice having people to share the journey and talk through any worries, and equally any positives we come across.
    My doctors said they advise waiting until your period after the miscarriage, but there’s no reason you can’t try sooner. I think it’s easier to track the pregnancy if you wait for your true cycle to start. Plus it gives time for your uterus to rebuild to accommodate a little bean again.
    I think we will actively try after the first period, but won’t be 100% careful before then just in case. We don’t want to miss a possible pregnancy opportunity.
    My op is a week tomorrow and I’m really nervous about general anaesthetic!! Last time I went under for my tonsils out it wasn’t pleasant at all 😩
     
  9. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    Aww hun, I feel for you. I really do! But having had a medical termination myself - I almost wish I’d opted for the operation. Just have it all done with me not knowing anything about it! But as ours had a post mortem to check for chromosomal issues, it was the only way!

    It’s funny, I think this is the first time in my life I’ve been looking forward to having a period! I think I can feel it on the way! As soon as it’s over, I’m all over it! Would love to be pregnant again before Christmas but the first attempt took 9 months so we will see!!

    X
     
  10. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    Yes I think we will wait for the first cycle too. Might bring some sort of closure as well that the last pregnancy is complete and my body is back to normal and ready for the next time.

    Thinking of you mtsfruitie! Everyone who I no who has had a d & c have did it was great (as great as this can be) going to sleep and waking up with it all gone. I think recovery might be a bit quicker too. Horrible how it drags on for so long though.

    Ladystardust4 also really looking forward to getting my period. Would also love to be pregnant by Christmas but if not then by the due date. I'm dreading that day.
     
  11. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    I think we are all the same then, wanting to be pregnant again by Christmas. Fingers crossed for us all.
    Lady Stardust you are right! I’ve neber looked forward to a period before, but I can’t wait for my first one after this!!
    I’ve got loads of ovulation test pee sticks ready and waiting to try again.
    I’ve told my husband to take plenty of vitamins and keep hydrated as he’s in for a busy few months until we conceive again... poor man 😂
     
  12. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    Yes bring on AF (how strange) haha.

    Might get some ovulation strips myself hmmm will see how we go.

    Just hope everything gets back to normal soon. I am still breastfeeding though and had only had one pp period so who knows?

    Will you ladies be using contraception for the first cycle? Think we will just use withdrawal... If I ever stop bleeding...

    Started to get excited about the prospect of trying again :)
     
  13. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    we are both also on the pre-natal vitamins! We both take them with our breakfast before going off to work haha. They were bloody expensive - spent about £37 for a three months supply but any tiny thing I can do to improve our chances of a healthy pregnancy - I am going to take it! Even though the thing that happened could not have been prevented.

    I have a few cheapy ovulation tests and 3 or 4 Clearblue ones but I'm tempted to avoid cycle tracking for a couple of months to avoid stress and disappointment.

    Out of interest... what were your due dates? Mine was meant to be 23rd Feb which is one week after my 30th Birthday! I'm dreading that time coming around. xx
     
  14. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    Mine was 9th of April. Will be a hard day for sure. I turn 30 in January. Really wanted to be pregnant by my 30th! Still time xx
     
  15. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    Massive fingers crossed and make sure you keep us up to date x
     
  16. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    Mine was 11th April.
    I’m hoping to get pregnant by Xmas again. I’ve read it’s easier to get pregnant right after a loss than waiting... though it could be internet nonsense.
    I’ve had a really down day today. Constant sharp pains across my abdomen reminding me of the loss. Really struggled at work. This time next week I will hopefully be released from hospital and resting in bed 😩
     
  17. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry Mrsfruitie. It is so hard to find any kind of peace and 'move on' while it is still happening. This loss is so fresh for you. Every time I think I've stopped bleeding it starts again soooo frustrating. Not much now so good it stops soon.

    Have also heard fertility is increased. Hope we all get our rainbows by Christmas time and still get to have 2019 babies xx
     
  18. MrsFruitie

    MrsFruitie Well-Known Member

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    I hope we all do to. It will be nice if we all manage to get pregnant again soon and can share our positive stories together.
    It really does help having people to talk to in similar situations. I’m struggling to talk about it in the real world as people’s sadness looks when you tell them make me cry more.
    Chickybaby were you part of the April 2019 babies group before your loss? I think I may have spoken to you on there?
     
  19. LadyStardust4

    LadyStardust4 Well-Known Member

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    MrsFruitie, I'm sorry to hear about your down day. I had very bad abdominal pains last week and was still testing positive but everything seems to have calmed down again now and I'm negative again. I will be thinking of you on Monday.

    Good news for me today... AF arrived, yay! So I'm planning to try this cycle. Not going to obsess about tracking right now as really don't feel I could handle the stress of being unsuccessful.

    My best friend confided in me that's she's pregnant (literally tested last night). She wasn't trying and didn't want to have babies for a couple of years but she has PCOS so wasn't being particularly careful either. I'm so happy for her... but I also can't help feeling a little bit jealous and a TEEEEENY bit bitter.

    That's awful isn't it :dohh:

    Hope you've both had an ok day today. Sending positive thoughts xx
     
  20. Chickybaby

    Chickybaby Well-Known Member

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    MrsFruite, yes I was. I remember you being there too. Do what makes you comfortable. You don't have to tell people if you don't want too, everyone processes and handles this differently. I've had a few people ask when we will be having another and the ones I'm close enough to I've told, i t shuts them up pretty quick.

    Talk about anything you want here, that's the great thing about this community. Would be great to share good news with each other soon xx

    Ladystrdust no that's not awful at all. You're more than entitled to feel that way. Being sad for yourself and wishing you were sharing good news instead doesn't mean you're not happy for her, you're just sad for you. Totally normal and justified. I've had some of the ugliest thoughts, but I'm being kind to myself I'm not a bad person I'm just still grieving.

    Congratts on AF! That's great. I think I've finally stopped bleeding (watch it start again now I've said that) I will hopefully ovulate soon and be back to trying in a month or so. Argh that sounds so far away!
     

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